Learning How to Socialize again-and how awesome people can be
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 114
Learning How to Socialize again-and how awesome people can be
Hey everyone,
Everytime I post here I still cannot beleive what an amazing past 10 months this has been. Things have changed so much for me, and all for the better. I dont think I will ever have enough time to think about all the things I want to think about, but hey-life goes on, and I am thankful that my life is GOING ON and NOT coming to an end slowly, day by day.
I have been noticing that now that I am sober, I am a lot more social than I ever was drunk. Back in the day it was all about me and I did whatever I wanted to do, and did what I needed to do to get what i wanted-enough booze to knock me into oblivion and I didnt care whether or not anyone was there to see me through it.
Nowaday's, I relish in all the positive things people in this world have given to my life. Its the simple things, like people in the coffee shop I frequent asking me "what's new" etc, or being able to make small talk with the people in my classes. Now I see only the good in people. Before, I used to have lots of negative thoughts and keep to myself.
And, I am going to a lot more social functions. One of the things I realized from my reading in recovery is that when you drink at a young age, your mind stops developing in certain areas. I think my social skills are one of those areas affected. I am 28 now, and feel like there are situations where I should be able to act normal, but I think that the years of abuse have made me act like a teenager instead. Its been a slow, but PLEASANT change to experience all the new and great things in my recovery. And, things keep getting better which is awesome.
I guess what I am saying is that now that I am sober, I feel like a real person now who has thoughts for more people than just me. I value other people's input, character, commentary and thoughts. I listen to people before speaking. I think before speaking myself. I feel like I actually have something to offer to others. Before, I felt like I had nothing to offer so I might as well stay away from other people. Just this past weekend, I attended a funeral for a family member of mine who died. Instead of sticking to myself, and drowning my own sorrow's-I was there for other people. And, other people were there for me-AND I DIDNT DRINK THANK GOD! I didnt even really have the temptation to drink. I think a lot of it was because of my changes in being able to welcome all that other people offer me and that my feelings of "self" were not selfish. I think of others before myself now.
But, most of all-I am still so grateful to be sober and continuing to recover. I still cant believe this gift I have been given, and every day I am thankful for it. The best part is, it gets better every day.
Hope you all are doing well, and I wish you all the best.
Everytime I post here I still cannot beleive what an amazing past 10 months this has been. Things have changed so much for me, and all for the better. I dont think I will ever have enough time to think about all the things I want to think about, but hey-life goes on, and I am thankful that my life is GOING ON and NOT coming to an end slowly, day by day.
I have been noticing that now that I am sober, I am a lot more social than I ever was drunk. Back in the day it was all about me and I did whatever I wanted to do, and did what I needed to do to get what i wanted-enough booze to knock me into oblivion and I didnt care whether or not anyone was there to see me through it.
Nowaday's, I relish in all the positive things people in this world have given to my life. Its the simple things, like people in the coffee shop I frequent asking me "what's new" etc, or being able to make small talk with the people in my classes. Now I see only the good in people. Before, I used to have lots of negative thoughts and keep to myself.
And, I am going to a lot more social functions. One of the things I realized from my reading in recovery is that when you drink at a young age, your mind stops developing in certain areas. I think my social skills are one of those areas affected. I am 28 now, and feel like there are situations where I should be able to act normal, but I think that the years of abuse have made me act like a teenager instead. Its been a slow, but PLEASANT change to experience all the new and great things in my recovery. And, things keep getting better which is awesome.
I guess what I am saying is that now that I am sober, I feel like a real person now who has thoughts for more people than just me. I value other people's input, character, commentary and thoughts. I listen to people before speaking. I think before speaking myself. I feel like I actually have something to offer to others. Before, I felt like I had nothing to offer so I might as well stay away from other people. Just this past weekend, I attended a funeral for a family member of mine who died. Instead of sticking to myself, and drowning my own sorrow's-I was there for other people. And, other people were there for me-AND I DIDNT DRINK THANK GOD! I didnt even really have the temptation to drink. I think a lot of it was because of my changes in being able to welcome all that other people offer me and that my feelings of "self" were not selfish. I think of others before myself now.
But, most of all-I am still so grateful to be sober and continuing to recover. I still cant believe this gift I have been given, and every day I am thankful for it. The best part is, it gets better every day.
Hope you all are doing well, and I wish you all the best.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Thanks for a wonderful post! I have what I refer to as a new sense of "ease" with people.
It is a great feeling.
I no longer have to mask a hangover and put on a happy face while I am falling to pieces inside. People no longer have to listen to the incredible amount of nonsense that used to come out of my mouth when I was drunk.
I enjoy that sensation, too: being comfortable in my own skin so that I am really comfortable with others. I ask a lot more questions now and am genuinely interested in people's responses.
It is a great feeling.
I no longer have to mask a hangover and put on a happy face while I am falling to pieces inside. People no longer have to listen to the incredible amount of nonsense that used to come out of my mouth when I was drunk.
I enjoy that sensation, too: being comfortable in my own skin so that I am really comfortable with others. I ask a lot more questions now and am genuinely interested in people's responses.
i've done my almost
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1,934
What an awesome post!
I know exactly what you mean and I'm still struggling with my fear of socializing without alcohol, but I am practicing and getting better.
I needed to hear this today - thank you.
I know exactly what you mean and I'm still struggling with my fear of socializing without alcohol, but I am practicing and getting better.
I needed to hear this today - thank you.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Colorado
Posts: 796
Thank you for your post.
I feel the same way. I now talk to strangers, I've given up my drunken friends with whom the talk was all about nothing.
I've met so many wonderful people in sobriety. It's been a turnaround and eye opener for me.
I feel so gratefull.
Best to you, it keeps getting better.
I feel the same way. I now talk to strangers, I've given up my drunken friends with whom the talk was all about nothing.
I've met so many wonderful people in sobriety. It's been a turnaround and eye opener for me.
I feel so gratefull.
Best to you, it keeps getting better.
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Thanks for that post 
I'm at 103 days now, and have been feeling "more comfortable in my own skin" lately. Nothing I could put a finger on, just a more grounded sense of self which made me more comfortable in group settings...enough so that I've even been speaking in public meetings, something I've NEVER done before!
I love it when people drop back in to share the positive aspects of their continuing recovery - thanks again.
Murray
I'm at 103 days now, and have been feeling "more comfortable in my own skin" lately. Nothing I could put a finger on, just a more grounded sense of self which made me more comfortable in group settings...enough so that I've even been speaking in public meetings, something I've NEVER done before!
I love it when people drop back in to share the positive aspects of their continuing recovery - thanks again.
Murray
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