Turning my engines off
Turning my engines off
I am going on day 14. I have absolutely no intention of drinking today. Doing some reflecting as to why I slipped after a great summer (well over 100 days sober).
I came home on a Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago and I just wanted to "turn my engines off" for a couple of hours. I had gone on a long bike ride that morning, did our grocery shopping for the week and my wife wanted to come home and take a Sunday afternoon nap. She did, but I just could not let go.
I tried some relaxation music, did not work. I closed my eyes and tried some meditation, did not work. Then it occurred to me that if I would only have a couple of scotch and sodas, I would be able to close my eyes, take a nap and I would be set to go by the time she would wake up.
Long story short, I had my two drinks, and 4 days later I had consumed an entire 1.75 bottle of scotch plus two 1.75 of vodka plus who knows how many bottles of wine.
When I finally got a hold of myself, I was so sick I had to drink a few beers (I hate beer) over the next 4 days so that I could taper off and sober up.
I am done......
I came home on a Sunday afternoon a few weeks ago and I just wanted to "turn my engines off" for a couple of hours. I had gone on a long bike ride that morning, did our grocery shopping for the week and my wife wanted to come home and take a Sunday afternoon nap. She did, but I just could not let go.
I tried some relaxation music, did not work. I closed my eyes and tried some meditation, did not work. Then it occurred to me that if I would only have a couple of scotch and sodas, I would be able to close my eyes, take a nap and I would be set to go by the time she would wake up.
Long story short, I had my two drinks, and 4 days later I had consumed an entire 1.75 bottle of scotch plus two 1.75 of vodka plus who knows how many bottles of wine.
When I finally got a hold of myself, I was so sick I had to drink a few beers (I hate beer) over the next 4 days so that I could taper off and sober up.
I am done......
The good thing about having those 100+ days is that if you ever doubt yourself now, you have a track record to look back on. You can say, "See, I know I can do it, 'cause I already did it before." You stumbled a bit, but now you're back in the game. Do whatever you need to do this time to keep from making the same mistake.
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