Hi everyone! Getting past day 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ca
Posts: 29
Hi everyone! Getting past day 1
Hi everyone! I am new to posting to this community, but I have been looking around for a few days and I must say that this place is wonderful!
I am 26 years old and have been drinking since I was about 20 or so in college. It was the typical college party thing, but my drinking didn't really get out of hand until about a year and a half ago. I was getting stressed from work, classes, roommates etc. and I would hole myself up in my room with a bottle of wine in order to escape and relax. With each change that has occurred in my life since then I have thought "oh wow! this will be the start of a new sober beginning!" and yet my alcoholism continues. My roommates moved out (still drank), I got engaged (still drank), my sister got married (still drank), I got married (still drank), my husband moved in (still drank) I started another semester of night classes at school (still drank)... you get the picture.
There are a few things that are really hitting home lately and I am 100% committed to quitting drinking. My husband has maybe a glass of wine or 2 a year, yet I'm sneaking a bottle or 2 of wine a night! I use the wine to make me more relaxed and happy after a long day at work and as an escape from my thoughts. But the cost of wine, the energy I spend in sneaking around, the guilt the day of and the day after is too much! I can't live like this anymore! I also am an avid road and track cyclist and love racing and I want to take my dreams to the next level this coming season. I've found out I can't race well hungover.
I'm also afraid since alcoholism runs in my family. My grandfather passed away from it and my aunt (also my next door neighbor) is suffering from it and her life is really sad to watch. I am also taking medication for bipolar disorder and I had an eating disorder during my teens. None of this adds up very positively.
I have gone one day without a drink a few times, and I love the feeling the next morning of being totally awake, healthy, alert and spunky. But as the day wears on I feel more and more like I have lost a good friend. I start mourning this loss and then start thinking of all my failed attempts in the past to stop drinking. "why is this any different? You have failed before, give in and fail again" is what I think throughout the second half of what could be my second day of sobriety and then I start getting even more depressed. I then give in and run to the closest bottle of wine and feel better again. And thus the cycle continues...
How do I get past this?! My father-in-laws birthday party is today and I won't be having any drinks tonight since his family shuns alcohol. I'm already stressing about tomorrow evening when the cravings will really hit again and I will be out and about in my car for work. (I'm thinking of leaving the debit card at home...)
Soooo... long winded introduction. Thanks so much! It has already has helped taking this load off my chest. I've never told anyone all of this before. Wow! What a relief!
I am 26 years old and have been drinking since I was about 20 or so in college. It was the typical college party thing, but my drinking didn't really get out of hand until about a year and a half ago. I was getting stressed from work, classes, roommates etc. and I would hole myself up in my room with a bottle of wine in order to escape and relax. With each change that has occurred in my life since then I have thought "oh wow! this will be the start of a new sober beginning!" and yet my alcoholism continues. My roommates moved out (still drank), I got engaged (still drank), my sister got married (still drank), I got married (still drank), my husband moved in (still drank) I started another semester of night classes at school (still drank)... you get the picture.
There are a few things that are really hitting home lately and I am 100% committed to quitting drinking. My husband has maybe a glass of wine or 2 a year, yet I'm sneaking a bottle or 2 of wine a night! I use the wine to make me more relaxed and happy after a long day at work and as an escape from my thoughts. But the cost of wine, the energy I spend in sneaking around, the guilt the day of and the day after is too much! I can't live like this anymore! I also am an avid road and track cyclist and love racing and I want to take my dreams to the next level this coming season. I've found out I can't race well hungover.
I'm also afraid since alcoholism runs in my family. My grandfather passed away from it and my aunt (also my next door neighbor) is suffering from it and her life is really sad to watch. I am also taking medication for bipolar disorder and I had an eating disorder during my teens. None of this adds up very positively.
I have gone one day without a drink a few times, and I love the feeling the next morning of being totally awake, healthy, alert and spunky. But as the day wears on I feel more and more like I have lost a good friend. I start mourning this loss and then start thinking of all my failed attempts in the past to stop drinking. "why is this any different? You have failed before, give in and fail again" is what I think throughout the second half of what could be my second day of sobriety and then I start getting even more depressed. I then give in and run to the closest bottle of wine and feel better again. And thus the cycle continues...
How do I get past this?! My father-in-laws birthday party is today and I won't be having any drinks tonight since his family shuns alcohol. I'm already stressing about tomorrow evening when the cravings will really hit again and I will be out and about in my car for work. (I'm thinking of leaving the debit card at home...)
Soooo... long winded introduction. Thanks so much! It has already has helped taking this load off my chest. I've never told anyone all of this before. Wow! What a relief!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 413
Hi chickonabike.
Good for you that you are going to quit!
I am on my umteenth attempt to do so and hopefully I can remain sober this time for good.
My advice is to team up with a group like aa as well as tell your hsuband what you are doing. That should be enough for you to succeed for now. All the very best
Good for you that you are going to quit!
I am on my umteenth attempt to do so and hopefully I can remain sober this time for good.
My advice is to team up with a group like aa as well as tell your hsuband what you are doing. That should be enough for you to succeed for now. All the very best
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Cary, NC
Posts: 715
Hi chickonabike
Mind games are mind games. SMART Recovery has a lot of great tools to reframe bad thoughts and thinking patterns.
In early recovery, I just took it one day at a time, found two support groups (AA and SR), and started a recovery program (AA). It's tough, but the benefits rock.
Glad you're here
Mind games are mind games. SMART Recovery has a lot of great tools to reframe bad thoughts and thinking patterns.
In early recovery, I just took it one day at a time, found two support groups (AA and SR), and started a recovery program (AA). It's tough, but the benefits rock.
Glad you're here
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 711
Greetings chickonabike and welcome to SR. Take some time to explore this place, read everything you can and if you really are quitting get ready for a fight.
Like a lot of people, I drank alone and hid it from everyone I could. Yes, time after time I kept spinning my wheels - getting tallboy after tallboy, popping the top and cussing at myself after each swallow. Yuck - the misery!! The good news is that you can stop the cycle.
I'm not gonna lie - when you stop it really sucks. I was lucky enough to have very mild withdrawals. Just irritable and mentally going crazy with cravings and fighting them off. If you can weather the storm, and I believe you CAN, the benefits of sobriety are just too numerous to write about. It's a very long journey so you better not pack lightly, but believe me it's worth it. It's worth every ounce of energy and focus you put in to it. This is a great place for support, advice, reminders, education, you name it. One of many tools needed to find sobriety.
I still grieve, to a point, the loss of alcohol in my life. I guess it's that lil alkie living inside me that can't let go. However, the new me is living a much better day-to-day philosophy and I hold each sober day preciously and near to my heart. sorry for the rambling!! Welcome aboard!!
Like a lot of people, I drank alone and hid it from everyone I could. Yes, time after time I kept spinning my wheels - getting tallboy after tallboy, popping the top and cussing at myself after each swallow. Yuck - the misery!! The good news is that you can stop the cycle.
I'm not gonna lie - when you stop it really sucks. I was lucky enough to have very mild withdrawals. Just irritable and mentally going crazy with cravings and fighting them off. If you can weather the storm, and I believe you CAN, the benefits of sobriety are just too numerous to write about. It's a very long journey so you better not pack lightly, but believe me it's worth it. It's worth every ounce of energy and focus you put in to it. This is a great place for support, advice, reminders, education, you name it. One of many tools needed to find sobriety.
I still grieve, to a point, the loss of alcohol in my life. I guess it's that lil alkie living inside me that can't let go. However, the new me is living a much better day-to-day philosophy and I hold each sober day preciously and near to my heart. sorry for the rambling!! Welcome aboard!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 7
Welcome to a new beginning chickonabike!
I struggled with putting sober time together for many, many years. All I know is that when I put alcohol in my body the phenomenon of craving became much more powerful than me and I could not predict when I was going to stop or what I was going to do. The most important thing in my life today is to not take that first drink.
With the help of AA I have managed to put together 2 1/2 years sober- one day at a time.
I wish you well on your journey!
I struggled with putting sober time together for many, many years. All I know is that when I put alcohol in my body the phenomenon of craving became much more powerful than me and I could not predict when I was going to stop or what I was going to do. The most important thing in my life today is to not take that first drink.
With the help of AA I have managed to put together 2 1/2 years sober- one day at a time.
I wish you well on your journey!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome Chick!
You have our support and there is tons of info/experience here.
I remember those first few days were rough but I disposed of the booze and refused to buy it, go near it, etc. I came to SR and posted like mad and read the threads on recovery, etc.
The best thing I can suggest is getting support....AA, your Dr. counseling.....what you feel will be helpful. Getting the face to support was tremendous for me and coming to SR and knowing I could share with others that knew what I was going through was invaluable.
Take it easy and remember baby steps. You can do this!!
You have our support and there is tons of info/experience here.
I remember those first few days were rough but I disposed of the booze and refused to buy it, go near it, etc. I came to SR and posted like mad and read the threads on recovery, etc.
The best thing I can suggest is getting support....AA, your Dr. counseling.....what you feel will be helpful. Getting the face to support was tremendous for me and coming to SR and knowing I could share with others that knew what I was going through was invaluable.
Take it easy and remember baby steps. You can do this!!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to the sharing side of our recovery community.
You have so much in your life ..not one thing
will be improved by drinking.
I'm glad you know that......
Blessings to you and your husband
as you head into a sober future.
New to Real Life
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: I come in Peaces
Posts: 2,071
Hello and welcome!
I think a lot of us can related to feeling so good after not drinking that you almost have to eff it up
I am not in AA but do see the value in the higher power thing. Because to me you have to trust that SOMETHING, anything knows better than you while alcohol has you in its grips. Your thoughts are not your own. Your urge to drink is not rational or logical. It's just... alcohol.
So IME really you have to want it more than anything. Just want to be sober and live sober. Each and every day. And when the ball gets rolling it gets so much easier.
I think a lot of us can related to feeling so good after not drinking that you almost have to eff it up
I am not in AA but do see the value in the higher power thing. Because to me you have to trust that SOMETHING, anything knows better than you while alcohol has you in its grips. Your thoughts are not your own. Your urge to drink is not rational or logical. It's just... alcohol.
So IME really you have to want it more than anything. Just want to be sober and live sober. Each and every day. And when the ball gets rolling it gets so much easier.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Ca
Posts: 29
Wow! Thanks everyone for such encouraging words! I am so lucky to have found such a supportive group!
I'm ampped and ready to go. Yes, I want this more than anything else and I will believe in myself and the fact that I can (and all of us too!) will lead happy, sober, wonderful lives. It's what we deserve!
I'm ampped and ready to go. Yes, I want this more than anything else and I will believe in myself and the fact that I can (and all of us too!) will lead happy, sober, wonderful lives. It's what we deserve!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,386
Hi chickonabike
Lots of good advice here already - for me just coming here and posting and reading helped make the difference for me...it helped me to work out what changes I needed to make with my life in the wider sense
welcome to SR!
D
Lots of good advice here already - for me just coming here and posting and reading helped make the difference for me...it helped me to work out what changes I needed to make with my life in the wider sense
welcome to SR!
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: England
Posts: 196
Welcome Chic , That Morning feeling of being Fit and ready to go is so much better than the feeling of Lethargy, hungover and in need to Lie back down..
Keep posting and make us proud of you, you can do it Girl! xx
Keep posting and make us proud of you, you can do it Girl! xx
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! I found it pretty much impossible to quit on my own, even when I promised myself I wouldn't pick up another drink. It seems that the minute I started to feel hangover-free again, I forgot all the pain and misery and all the reasons I knew I needed to quit.
Life without alcohol is a little strange at first, but take it a day at a time and be patient with yourself. After a while the urges to drink will get weaker and weaker - it's like changing any habit or starting a new one. It takes some getting used to. But it's so worth it and you sound really ready and willing to do this. Think positive and keep posting!!
Life without alcohol is a little strange at first, but take it a day at a time and be patient with yourself. After a while the urges to drink will get weaker and weaker - it's like changing any habit or starting a new one. It takes some getting used to. But it's so worth it and you sound really ready and willing to do this. Think positive and keep posting!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 237
Welcome! I found it pretty much impossible to quit on my own, even when I promised myself I wouldn't pick up another drink. It seems that the minute I started to feel hangover-free again, I forgot all the pain and misery and all the reasons I knew I needed to quit.
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