eJoshua

Hey all -

I've been hanging around for a while but never posted till tonight. I have been fighting to get clean for about 6 months now and keep relapsing. I just got off a huge bender this last weekend and feel like complete crap, anxious, shaking, was a mess at work this morning, etc.

I just can't seem to stay sober for any great length of time. Made it about a month when I first realized I needed to quit and then relapsed. I've been making it for about a week at a time before going back to the bottle for a few. This has kind of been the pattern for my life the past six months but I want out.

I don't know what to do, I am now at the point where I feel like I have no control. Every drink feels like a nail in my coffin but I can't seem to stop the process.

Please tell me it's possible to get sober and stay sober! I need to hear it from those that have been there before, because my friends and family just don't "get it" - even though they have been supporting and loving.

Thanks,
-E

ANGELINA243

Welcome! Glad you are here. It is possible to get and stay sober. This place has helped me alot with my recovery. There is hope! We do recover.

DayTrader

It's possible.......and it's really quite simple........but it's not easy (heh, you knew that though).

google AA, find a local office, give them a call, they'll tell you where a local meeting is, go to the meeting and say you're new and looking for a sponsor.

CarolD

Many of us have been in the same cycle of sober-drink-sober

We understand ...and...Yes you too can win over alcohol

Welcome....

eJoshua

Thanks... I went to one AA meeting when I first tried to quit and I HATED it. I think part of the problem was the group I went to was full of wonderful people, but I was the youngest by probably 15 years (I'm 25). I think I need to give it another shot and see if there's a group that has people around my age group. This might help.

-E

ItsMe23

Your not alone on your quest. Many of us are walking the same path. People dont understand unless the are dealing with the same affliction, but here at SR it is nice because many have been in the same position.

One thing I have come to notice is that when I know I'm not allowed to have a drink, the mental obsession with it gets worse, like I want it more and more even though I know it only leads to a bad place.

eJoshua

That's so true. Plus I think it gets harder if you have tried to quit in the past. Emotionally you know you have given into those cravings and so it seems like not such a big deal if you give in again.

DayTrader

Yeah, find some other meetings maybe. I'm sponsoring a guy who's 25. (I'm 41). He doesn't love the same meetings I do and I don't love the ones he does but some meetings will have more young ppl at them. The downside is, however, if you go to a meeting with nothing buy newcomers there, nobody probably knows how to stay sober. The key is to find the folks with some quality sobriety time that you respect and can listen to/learn from.

Alternatively, you could drink for another 15 yrs and, if you live that long, you can walk back in when yer 40 - LOLOL

eJoshua

That's a good point, thanks. If I lived till I was 40 at the rate I'm living it'd be a miracle, lol.

coffeenut

It is possible and you can do it. Stick close to SR. Read and post and post and read.

DayTrader

I hear ya.

I know, from your shoes, it seems like "Man, this sucks......I've got to get sober at 25. I'm going to miss out on so much of life."

whereas

From my shoes I see, "Man, how lucky, this guy gets to get sober at 25.....with sooo much life ahead of him."

.....I swear.....sobriety done right is way more fun (and no, I didn't believe ppl when they told me that same thing early in MY sobriety either)

least

Yes, it IS possible to get and stay sober. I'm someone who relapsed over and over, couldn't get too much time sober without falling back into that hole. Now I've got ten months and feel better than I've felt in a long time. I went to AA early in my sobriety and it helped a lot. I've also got a great addiction counselor I see once a week and she helps in all aspects of my life, not just addiction.

There are lots of ways to stay sober. Whatever you do, do it with all your heart and soul.

Welcome to a great place for support and useful information.

tjp613

I'm a newbie too. I'm 52 but I can certainly understand your wanting to be with people your own age. But let me just share this: I went to my 4th AA meeting tonight and it was a HUGE meeting with people of all ages and all lengths of sobriety. One of my favorite 'shares' tonight was a young man of maybe 21 or 22 with 9 months clean. He was talking with tears in his eyes about how his sponsor saved his life and how much he appreciated all that he has given of his time and heart. His sponsor was probably every bit of 60, an ex-Marine and had 22 years sober. They couldn't have been more opposite as the younger one had long hair, tattoos, a headband and a t-shirt that said "Rock Star" on it..LOL. But he was so, so grateful for all that he had learned.

Just something to think about...

LaFemme

Hi and welcome! I can completely relate to the whole "nail in Tue coffin with every drink" that was exactly me...and I didn't care...I just wanted that coffin to hurry up and get here. I tried many different ways to get sober and finally with enough things working together everything finally clikced...I'm only 92 days but I never made it past 7 days before in 5 years of trying.

I agree 100% with Day Trader ...from where I sit I am a little jealous of the people who quit in their 20's:-)

eJoshua

That's huge, that's for sure. I hope nobody thinks that I'm down on learning from those that are older than us, as I was so thankful for the wisdom and experience of the men that were there the night that I first visited. My dad is a recovering alcoholic, and the stories I've heard from him are what have inspired me to think about changing my life.

It's just hard when everyone in the meeting has been sober 10+ years and I'm trying to tell them about how s****y I feel about my life in general, having been in recovery less than a week.

Anyways, it has been helpful to look around SR, as I can read the stories of those who are in my shoes right now and also benefit from those who have gone before.

eJoshua

Thank you! I'm so happy you can relate.

Snarf

eJoshua, I'm very fortunate in that the Atlanta area has tons of AA meetings from which I can choose. The clubhouse I go to has meetings form 7am through 11pm. And each group has its own personality, so there's a meeting for everyone. Check this link to look for different meetings in your area. Hopefully you can find one where you feel more comfortable.

Alcoholics Anonymous : How to Find A.A. Meetings

eJoshua

Thank you, that tool is actually quite helpful. Thanks everyone you have given me some hope tonight.

I poured out the rest of my booze I had lying around the house (not much really, just half a bottle) and tomorrow I'm going to make another shot at day 1. Keep your fingers crossed!

Hollyanne

eJoshua,
Agree with all above. Great you are aware of the problem. You have a great life ahead of you.
I am at day 21 now. Rough+++++++ until day 15, then suddenly easier. I know what you mean about the AA meetings. I would go to different ones and find a mixed group. Every person gets something different from a meeting. I found an evening meeting until after danger hours passed simply removed the possibility of getting the alcohol. You have to line up all your ducks so as to give yourself the best chance of quitting. The constant yoyoing is soul-destroying. It took me several stops and starts to get to this.
I am happy you are on here. Big hugs to you

Dee74

Hi eJoshua

I wondered if it was possible too - I tried for about as long as you've been alive...in the end I not only got sober but stayed that way...nearly 4 years now.

SR had a lot to do with that, but I also was determined to make this time stick - I changed a lot of other things in my life too, and I finally accepted that alcohol has no place in my life ever - not if I want to be happy.

Whatever way you decide to go to get there, I know you'll find a lot of support here - welcome

D