bochuck

Well I am 49 beeen drinking since 21. I can't handle alcohol anymore. It seems to get worse I drink less and get drunker. I think i was sober for about 45 days months ago but I decided to buy a box of wine (5Liters) when my husband was away on business for 4 days. that lead to the spiral because even though I thought if I stay in the house alone no one will know. WRONG I called people, they called me and they all new I was wasted. i finished the box in 3 days. Five bottles in 3 days. Well starting again to not drink. only day 2. I feel alone and depressed don't understand why I want to drown my sorrows because I don't have any sorrows. I had a great childhood great marriage when I am not drinking. What am I running from. Why do I drink? Why can't I stop?I wish there was a pill to take to make you sick if you drink alcohol in the first sip. Are there any other forums on this site for people who keep trying or is newcombers the place to be. I want to go get 1 bottle of wine today I am off work and hubby is out of town.

ChangeIsGood123

Welcome back. And congrats on two days! I know where you are coming from as far as drinking to drown sorrows that are not there. Its called alcoholism and its the reason you cannot stop. And yes this is best forum for newcomers, hence the name! You will get alot of support here. Keep close and read read read. I know it helps me. Everyone here is wonderful.

Clearhead

There is a prescription your doctor can give u that makes you ill when you drink. I can't remember what it's called though. Also, I had no "sorrows" or reason for drinking 12 beers everyday during the week and WAY more on the weekends. I just did because I can't have just 1 drink and it made everything more interesting per say. I finally went to a detox facility and did some outpatient counseling to find out why I was drinking so much and how WE ALL differ from "normal" people.

I wasn't precribed that pill, because I was told it's for relapser's and this was the first and only time I had tried to quit drinking. Don't get me wrong....I tried many times to slow it down or not drink monday through friday. It would always lead to me catching up on the weekends and drinking WAY worse. Hang in there and check with your doctor about the medication you can take. In the end though, you have to educate yourself on why you can't moderately drink or quit for good. I'll be prayin for ya!

Raindance

It's called Antabuse.

Dee74

Just a reminder to all that medical advice is not allowed here.


If you did want to see your Dr, bochuck (and it's not a bad idea to do that at least for detox IMO) ask them for their suggestions for your particular case.

Have you ever though of support, tho B? face to face support like AA or some other kind of recovery group?

Being alone seems to be one of your triggers.
I think you'd benefit from doing something like that.

D

LexieCat

USE that depression, but don't feed it by buying more wine. Use the depression to realize that the booze will kick your butt every time.

Once you've accepted that, you will be ready to move forward.

Have you considered AA, as Dee suggested? I drank alone, and it helped me a lot to be around other people who "get it".

CarolD

When my drinking made me depressed ..and I detested
the woman I had become....

I began AA recovery by attending meetings
Wisest move I ever made.....

Welcome back to SR

Anna

Bochuck you are always welcome in Newcomers.

I used to do exactly what you did. When my husband would go away it would be a huge trigger for me and I would think I'd be safe and sound at home. No one would know. Well, I would call people too. It was horribly embarassing and I never got away with it.

Personally, I suspect that there are reasons that you are drinking. You may not be aware of them, but I believe drinking is a symptom. It's the underlying problems that lead to the addiction.

least

I think that may have been what motivated me to crawl out of the muck and mire, and stay out. I was so depressed I didn't care if I lived or died. But since I've stayed sober I've noticed a HUGE improvement in the depression. Much more bearable, not as soul-crushing, more happy moments... My anti D meds actually help!

I too relapsed over and over, coming to think I was truly hopeless and could never recover. But for the support of this site and the help of my addiction counselor I might still be in that hole. That and the increasing awareness of the fact that I might not have any recovery left in me! That all my nine lives might be used up and the next time might be the last time. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my kids and dogs without a mom. So I got sober and have stayed sober, a day at a time, for the last ten months. And if I can do it, so can you.