duggy

I had half a glass of wine today. I am not liking me..i'm ok...not drunk or anything but I am just so disappointed in myself.

I feel like such a loser..ugh. Oh well just gotta pick myself up and start again.

9 and a half days wasted.

SSIL75

This is why I don't count days. It's not wasted. It's 9 days. Half a glass of wine. It is what it is. You stopped. Now you can move on!

duggy

I know..but I can't stop crying either. I just am disappointed in me.

BurningChrome

Hey Duggy, I suspect that many of us here have had quite a large number of "first sober days".... It's a time consuming, learning experience. Saddly, one we repeat a great number of times. Just DON'T GIVE UP!!! Eventually, it WILL stick! Best of luck,
..Mike

duggy

And I did stop...halfway through I said it tastes like ****..so I stopped and made coffee..it could've been worse I suppose..but still makes me feel crappy..ugh.

Freeport

Just don't make the mistake of drinking anymore today, and start out fresh tomorrow. You'll be amazed at how quickly Day 10 rolls around. You can do this.

Fandy

exactly. your 9 days were your start to what you want.

but you have to think WHY you started to drink, figure out what made you make that CHOICE and what are you going to do to change how you feel?

this is something that doesn't come overnight for many of us..but I considered it a learning process. I'm happy to say it has gotten much easier since i learned how to deal with my triggers and how i react differently.

P.S.>>>>>>stop crying...you DID stop. this was a smart choice.

bellakeller

"I just am disappointed in me."

I said this for so many years. I'd set the bar and immediately fall below it before I knew what was happening. It was just beyond my control but I failed to realize this again and again. I just kept falling for it until I decided I would maybe not come up with this result if I tried something different.

So out of character for me to ask for help. To even admit that I needed help with this insanity was so difficult for me. But I started on a different path and it slowly began to work out with many false starts along the way. I was a slow learner and coming to realize that alcohol and I just couldn't coexist took a ton of work.

I found AA my way to something different. I don't know why it's been working for me. I tried everything within my power to stop by myself but I simply couldn't do it alone. It was so hard to ask for and not only ask for but accept help. A long sometimes painful road. But I am sober today.

Best of luck.

jamdls

Just pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Just about every Sunday or Monday for several years I swore I wasn't going to drink again, but unless I was very ill or injured I don't think I ever lasted a whole week. The 9 days were not wasted and hopefully you learn from your slip.

least

Pick yourself back up, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward again.

duggy

I know what my trigger was...family related...family stinks sometimes...not mine..but my husbands..he lost his dad in May to cancer at age 61 and his family has just fallen apart...seing him hurt is more than I can handle...

he knows I drank..I told him when I did..i'm not a hider..it is what it is...

I want so much to be strong..but I know its baby steps...but i'm trying..I think giving up altogether would be worse.

thank you my friends.

Mcribb

this is how it started atleast getting better. went awhile relapse, went awhile longer relapse, went longer got help this time, relapse, then really really put myself into getting better with help.

KellySad

Duggy, 9 days is a good start. And the best part is...you STOPPED after 1/2 glass.

ODAAT

Tomorrow you can start again.

Kelly

bcboy

Hey Duggy.

Glad you only had 1/2 a glass. If that had been me I would not have stopped until I was all the way toxic.

Good on you for realizing this is not what you want.

Keep moving forward.

SSIL75

of course

Evolution, not revolution. You're growing and evolving. The proof is that you put the glass down!

tjp613

Hey Duggy. I know how you feel. Bleh. You'll do better this time around. And hey!...where'd the wine come from?? Maybe need to dump all of it out, eh? Whatever it takes!

tmbg

I was devastated when I slipped and had a few glasses of wine after 30 days. It was *really* hard to admit it in AA because I felt like such a fool. The problem was that it led to the "am I really an alcoholic?" thinking...which led to the worst eight months of my life in my drinking career where I'd drink because I was convinced that I was, indeed, an alcoholic. Does that sound stupid? Of course it does.

I hope you can forgive yourself and get back to sobriety faster than I did.

Hevyn

Duggy, proud of you for coming here to tell on yourself - I probably wouldn't have early on. I agree with bcboy - if it was me, I would not have stopped until the bottle - and then another bottle - were gone. Next day most likely would've continued with the madness, until I was on a full blown binge. SO you are doing better than many of us at this early stage of the game - you are going to get this figured out. Be kind to yourself.

St1978

Beating yourself up may be helpful, or it may hurt, it depends how you respond to criticism. Try to focus on the positive (I only had a 1/2 glass, I made it 9 days) rather than the negative (I failed).

I say this because I would often drink when I feel down (or up, or anytime). But in a psychological sense, if I make myself feel bad with negative self-talk, it can be a subconscious way to feel I deserve a drink. The body craves alcohol and will try any trick in the book to get the alcohol the system still thirsts for.

shegirl

Dont be so hard on yourself, you had enough control to stop at a half glass of wine. You're doing a great job, stay strong ok and dont beat yourself up ok!