This isn't going to be easy, is it?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Suburb of Detroit MI
Posts: 10
This isn't going to be easy, is it?
I've been sitting here for over and hour trying to work up enough courage to post, trying to talk myself into posting and trying to talk myself into NOT posting. Self sabbotage isn't it great.... So here it goes, diving in feet first...
I've been a alcoholic for the last 3 years, started with a bad relationship, my mother passing away and nearly ended when I drove my car into a field of trees. That kept me sober for nearly 6 months, now a days though it's purpose is to remind me not to drink and drive... Least I've concord that.
Somehow through all of this I've managed to meet and marry the most wonderful man in the world, his father was an alcoholic, so he has understanding for me.
I've have what I call drinking days and binge days, I've just come off a 2 days binge and the withdrawals are already killing me, all I can think of is one more drink, one more to stop the tremmors, the sweating, the upset stomach. Tonight I'm having someone take me home from work so that I can not drive to the store and get wine, tonight something has to change, otherwise this is going to eventually kill me, and my husband desrves so much better than this.
I've tried to quit on my own and always eventually giving in. This is the first time I've worked up enough courage to confide in others and seek there support, from people who uderstand the trials and tribulations, I've gone through and the new ones I will go through trying to get sober.
I've been a alcoholic for the last 3 years, started with a bad relationship, my mother passing away and nearly ended when I drove my car into a field of trees. That kept me sober for nearly 6 months, now a days though it's purpose is to remind me not to drink and drive... Least I've concord that.
Somehow through all of this I've managed to meet and marry the most wonderful man in the world, his father was an alcoholic, so he has understanding for me.
I've have what I call drinking days and binge days, I've just come off a 2 days binge and the withdrawals are already killing me, all I can think of is one more drink, one more to stop the tremmors, the sweating, the upset stomach. Tonight I'm having someone take me home from work so that I can not drive to the store and get wine, tonight something has to change, otherwise this is going to eventually kill me, and my husband desrves so much better than this.
I've tried to quit on my own and always eventually giving in. This is the first time I've worked up enough courage to confide in others and seek there support, from people who uderstand the trials and tribulations, I've gone through and the new ones I will go through trying to get sober.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the family.
No, it won't be easy, it will take hard work and some sacrifice but the results will be so worth it.
Do you have any support system in place beside this forum? Can you go to some AA meetings for help and support and guidance? Can you have an honest talk with your doctor and ask him/her for help in getting past the withdrawals? If you have serious/scary problems with w/d please get medical help immediately.
You'll find a lot of support here from people who understand your problems. I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me.
No, it won't be easy, it will take hard work and some sacrifice but the results will be so worth it. Do you have any support system in place beside this forum? Can you go to some AA meetings for help and support and guidance? Can you have an honest talk with your doctor and ask him/her for help in getting past the withdrawals? If you have serious/scary problems with w/d please get medical help immediately.You'll find a lot of support here from people who understand your problems. I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,508
Welcome!
No, it isn't easy, but it's worth it.
For me, I became more and more physically sick after a day of drinking. And, emotionally I was a mess. I knew I was going to die if I didn't stop.
Take a look around and read and learn. We have a lot of support to offer.
No, it isn't easy, but it's worth it.
For me, I became more and more physically sick after a day of drinking. And, emotionally I was a mess. I knew I was going to die if I didn't stop.
Take a look around and read and learn. We have a lot of support to offer.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community.....
Thanks for joining with us.
And Yes! you too can win over alcohol
Many of us have done that ..
Blessings to you and your husband
Thanks for joining with us.
And Yes! you too can win over alcohol
Many of us have done that ..
Blessings to you and your husband
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 780
No, its gonna be hard. Its gonna suck and Its gonna hurt. Then you will be past the first week. And believe it or not, it will get easier.
If you think you need medical help, please get it. With that being said, Post and keep posting. Read how your not alone or different. We all have been or are going thru it. No one will judge you or think less of you. I myself have had a zillion first days. Were here for you and will help you anyway we can.
This site is why I have gotten this far finally. Like suggested, maybe AA is for you, or SMART or some other secular group. One day at a time.
Day 102
If you think you need medical help, please get it. With that being said, Post and keep posting. Read how your not alone or different. We all have been or are going thru it. No one will judge you or think less of you. I myself have had a zillion first days. Were here for you and will help you anyway we can.
This site is why I have gotten this far finally. Like suggested, maybe AA is for you, or SMART or some other secular group. One day at a time.
Day 102
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi,
Only the first few days were really hard for me. I found the support I got in AA to be SO helpful and it really wasn't a struggle for me.
You will spare yourself and your husband a lot of grief and pain if you address this now before it gets worse. Because that's what happens--untreated, it gets worse, never better.
Only the first few days were really hard for me. I found the support I got in AA to be SO helpful and it really wasn't a struggle for me.
You will spare yourself and your husband a lot of grief and pain if you address this now before it gets worse. Because that's what happens--untreated, it gets worse, never better.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Suburb of Detroit MI
Posts: 10
A doctors help would be much appreciated, unfortunately I don't have health insurance and couldn't afford the doctor bill. If anything super scary starts to happen I'll go to the ER. In times past I've never had anything too scary happen, mostly muscle tremmors, shakes, nausea and sweating.
My husband and I have been tossing around the idea of AA, I do want to start going to classes but our work schedules make it hard, to find a class I can go to.
But I have come to realize that I can't do this on my own.
My husband and I have been tossing around the idea of AA, I do want to start going to classes but our work schedules make it hard, to find a class I can go to.
But I have come to realize that I can't do this on my own.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Land down under
Posts: 433
Hisako,
Your post reminds me of myself 6 months ago. I sat here hesitating about making a post and was overwhelmed with all the different emotions going on in my head.
Making that post was the best thing I have ever done in my life. I was welcomed so warmly. I have not looked back and here I am with 6 months of sobriety and each day still getting better and better.
It is hard at first, but it really does get better. If you need extra support, check out the chat room. That room helped me on many occasions when I thought i was not going to get through.
One day at a time - that's as far as you need to think ahead. Some do it by the hour even.
Keep posting and welcome to SR.
Your post reminds me of myself 6 months ago. I sat here hesitating about making a post and was overwhelmed with all the different emotions going on in my head.
Making that post was the best thing I have ever done in my life. I was welcomed so warmly. I have not looked back and here I am with 6 months of sobriety and each day still getting better and better.
It is hard at first, but it really does get better. If you need extra support, check out the chat room. That room helped me on many occasions when I thought i was not going to get through.
One day at a time - that's as far as you need to think ahead. Some do it by the hour even.
Keep posting and welcome to SR.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Um, by "classes", do you mean AA meetings?
You will learn a lot there, but they aren't exactly classes. It is wonderful support, and you will be meeting others who have "been there". If you go to a few meetings and find a sponsor to work with, you don't have to go to meetings every day (I did, in the beginning, but it isn't crucial to go every day as long as you are working on the 12 Steps.
A lot of people here feel they owe their lives to AA. Not only does it help you not to drink, you will learn how to live a happy, fulfilling sober life. What could be better than that?
You will learn a lot there, but they aren't exactly classes.
It is wonderful support, and you will be meeting others who have "been there". If you go to a few meetings and find a sponsor to work with, you don't have to go to meetings every day (I did, in the beginning, but it isn't crucial to go every day as long as you are working on the 12 Steps.A lot of people here feel they owe their lives to AA. Not only does it help you not to drink, you will learn how to live a happy, fulfilling sober life. What could be better than that?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
It is hard at first, particularly the first week but, with medical help (just going for one appointment should not cost too much, and there may be public health clinics for folks who have trouble paying) and group support (here in SR and with AA, which probably has meetings at times which you can arrange- weekends perhaps?) and with an understanding sponsor, you should be able to put together a program for the long term. Each day becomes easier, at least after the first week or so. So glad your husband understands. Try to learn about ways to avoid relapses and your sobriety will build up and it will become even easier. Good luck.
W.
W.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 218
Welcome, and congrats on making a HUGE step in admitting you have a problem and deciding to do something about it! There are a lot of different ways people recover from addiction but I know a lot of us found AA to be essential to our recovery (and still do). I cannot describe the hope, connection, and relief I felt when I first sat down in an AA meeting....it is a bunch of alcoholics who understand what we do to ourselves and those around us.
As someone else said, you don't need to make a meeting every single day....I only have 81 days of sobriety and for about the past 45 I have only been able to go to 2-3 meetings a week but the literature of AA, a sponsor, and the meetings I can go to have truly changed my life in a very very positive way.
Good luck to you. Stick around!
As someone else said, you don't need to make a meeting every single day....I only have 81 days of sobriety and for about the past 45 I have only been able to go to 2-3 meetings a week but the literature of AA, a sponsor, and the meetings I can go to have truly changed my life in a very very positive way.
Good luck to you. Stick around!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi Hisako
no, it's not easy but it was actually easier for me than living the way I used to - that was hell.
I really do encourage you to see a Dr - I appreciate moneys tight, but nothing more important than your health.
You could also look around for free clinics in your area?
I tried many times - by myself - and failed. The support you'll find here, and at places like AA and other recovery groups, will help a lot I think.
Hope to see you around some more
D
no, it's not easy but it was actually easier for me than living the way I used to - that was hell.
I really do encourage you to see a Dr - I appreciate moneys tight, but nothing more important than your health.
You could also look around for free clinics in your area?
I tried many times - by myself - and failed. The support you'll find here, and at places like AA and other recovery groups, will help a lot I think.
Hope to see you around some more
D
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome! The good news is that SR doesn't cost anything, nor does AA. It's scary to think about getting sober. I really didn't know if I could do it again (I'd done it before, but this time seemed a little harder). I really lean on the folks here and for the most part, it's gotten better each and every day that I haven't picked up that drink.
Try not to think too much about tomorrow or the next day or week. Just stay sober for today. Make it a priority and get all the help you can. It's about you and your life and I promise you, things are so much better when we're not being driven by this addiction.
All the best!:ghug3
Try not to think too much about tomorrow or the next day or week. Just stay sober for today. Make it a priority and get all the help you can. It's about you and your life and I promise you, things are so much better when we're not being driven by this addiction.
All the best!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Welcome and you have our suppport. There is so much good info in this thread.
I will add too that while the journey may not be easy at first......it is the best thing you can do for yourself and those you care about. Sobriety is a blessing and it takes some work getting a good plan of support in place but it looks like you are on the right track.
You must make your sobriety your priority. I focused solely on getting sober and then used support to help me achieve a positive way of living.
Baby steps.....my friend. You can do it and each day sober is building your foundation.
Meetings are free....check one out.
I will add too that while the journey may not be easy at first......it is the best thing you can do for yourself and those you care about. Sobriety is a blessing and it takes some work getting a good plan of support in place but it looks like you are on the right track.
You must make your sobriety your priority. I focused solely on getting sober and then used support to help me achieve a positive way of living.
Baby steps.....my friend. You can do it and each day sober is building your foundation.
Meetings are free....check one out.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Suburb of Detroit MI
Posts: 10
Wow I'm so overwhelmed with all the great responses, and actually after getting through last night, I'm not feeling to bad. Which I'm hugely suprised about. Usually the second and third day are killers for me. I've been drinking mad quanities of water, taking extra vitamins and tylenol. Last night was hard and I got near to no sleep but the few hours I did get really helped.
I did come to one realization last night that was mentally hard, before when I detoxed I always thought, "oh well I can be a social drinker, just no wine" wine is my alcohol of choice... Anyways last night I realized nope never, I will never ever be able to even be a social drinker.
P.S My husband found some AA classes that should work with our schedual.
I did come to one realization last night that was mentally hard, before when I detoxed I always thought, "oh well I can be a social drinker, just no wine" wine is my alcohol of choice... Anyways last night I realized nope never, I will never ever be able to even be a social drinker.
P.S My husband found some AA classes that should work with our schedual.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Suburb of Detroit MI
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by artsoul 
Welcome! The good news is that SR doesn't cost anything, nor does AA. It's scary to think about getting sober. I really didn't know if I could do it again (I'd done it before, but this time seemed a little harder). I really lean on the folks here and for the most part, it's gotten better each and every day that I haven't picked up that drink.
Try not to think too much about tomorrow or the next day or week. Just stay sober for today. Make it a priority and get all the help you can. It's about you and your life and I promise you, things are so much better when we're not being driven by this addiction.
All the best!:ghug3
Try not to think too much about tomorrow or the next day or week. Just stay sober for today. Make it a priority and get all the help you can. It's about you and your life and I promise you, things are so much better when we're not being driven by this addiction.
All the best!:ghug3
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
If I can make a suggestion, avoid the Tylenol. It is known to be highly dangerous to anyone with liver problems (which includes many alcoholics). Ask your pharmacist what's safer to try. (I know this SOUNDS like medical advice, but it's more of a warning.)
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Good job on getting through last night. I stuck close to this forum for support and it really made all the difference. Keep hanging in there and remember "one day at a time." It really does get better.
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