1 year and 1 month SOBER!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 16
1 year and 1 month SOBER!
Hello All!
I have been sober for 1 year and 1 month, TODAY!
I have done it all my own - never gone to a meeting - just decided enough is enough, and here I am.
I think the first 6 months was the hardest part of recovery. I couldn't sleep, I had unimaginable anxiety, and I'm pretty sure I had a nervous breakdown (from the Anxiety)... In hindsight, I believe I had to break down to build myself back up.
I have learnt so much about myself, and am a far stronger/kinder person that I ever thought I could be.
If I look back, I have no idea how I endured all that pain in the first 6 months of recovery. Hell on earth is the only way I can describe it.
Those first 6 months had me questioning the existence of a maker.
How could I feel no emotions, that no good was in the world?
I remember crying out so many times asking God to take it from me, and he didn't hear my cries... I literally felt as though I was the living dead for 6 months... I have no idea what kept me going. Nevertheless, I soldiered on.
From 6 months sober, to now, I have been climbing steadily uphill to where I am today (which I would say is 80% of my previous self).
If I look back to even a couple of months I can see the progress I've made, and I'm sure in another few months I'll be saying the same thing.
I know that I am still PAWS affected, and around my sobriety date my emotions and memory are 'all over the place', but now I manage, and each time it gets easier.
I want to thank soberrecovery.com for having these amazing forums. I still remember reading a post on PAWS written by Barb Dwyer, I think, and what she was going through was exactly what I was feeling. Had I not been able to 'feel normal' about my feelings, I think my recovery would have been hindered.
I think that's one of the hardest part of recovery, is not knowing what to expect next.
It's nice to be able to normalise your feelings with others to 'keep yourself sane'.
I'm pretty certain that the anxiety caused from not drinking is the main 'killer' in people's recovery... I personally found that understanding anxiety and trying to address that has had the most profound effect on my recovery...
Thanks again for this amazing Forum.
Andy.
I have been sober for 1 year and 1 month, TODAY!
I have done it all my own - never gone to a meeting - just decided enough is enough, and here I am.
I think the first 6 months was the hardest part of recovery. I couldn't sleep, I had unimaginable anxiety, and I'm pretty sure I had a nervous breakdown (from the Anxiety)... In hindsight, I believe I had to break down to build myself back up.
I have learnt so much about myself, and am a far stronger/kinder person that I ever thought I could be.
If I look back, I have no idea how I endured all that pain in the first 6 months of recovery. Hell on earth is the only way I can describe it.
Those first 6 months had me questioning the existence of a maker.
How could I feel no emotions, that no good was in the world?
I remember crying out so many times asking God to take it from me, and he didn't hear my cries... I literally felt as though I was the living dead for 6 months... I have no idea what kept me going. Nevertheless, I soldiered on.
From 6 months sober, to now, I have been climbing steadily uphill to where I am today (which I would say is 80% of my previous self).
If I look back to even a couple of months I can see the progress I've made, and I'm sure in another few months I'll be saying the same thing.
I know that I am still PAWS affected, and around my sobriety date my emotions and memory are 'all over the place', but now I manage, and each time it gets easier.
I want to thank soberrecovery.com for having these amazing forums. I still remember reading a post on PAWS written by Barb Dwyer, I think, and what she was going through was exactly what I was feeling. Had I not been able to 'feel normal' about my feelings, I think my recovery would have been hindered.
I think that's one of the hardest part of recovery, is not knowing what to expect next.
It's nice to be able to normalise your feelings with others to 'keep yourself sane'.
I'm pretty certain that the anxiety caused from not drinking is the main 'killer' in people's recovery... I personally found that understanding anxiety and trying to address that has had the most profound effect on my recovery...
Thanks again for this amazing Forum.
Andy.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 160
Congratulations! That is a major achievement. I am only on day 16 but have already attempted to map how I will handle the first 6 months. The anxiety is the bit I am finding most difficult - especially when I am lying in bed and every little noise makes me nervous and jumpy. Fingers crossed I can be as strong as you are. Thanks for your post.
Proud Neonephalist
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: North Coast BC Canada
Posts: 1,141
Originally Posted by handyandy 
I want to thank soberrecovery.com for having these amazing forums. I still remember reading a post on PAWS written by Barb Dwyer, I think, and what she was going through was exactly what I was feeling. Had I not been able to 'feel normal' about my feelings, I think my recovery would have been hindered.
I think that's one of the hardest part of recovery, is not knowing what to expect next.
It's nice to be able to normalise your feelings with others to 'keep yourself sane'.
I'm pretty certain that the anxiety caused from not drinking is the main 'killer' in people's recovery... I personally found that understanding anxiety and trying to address that has had the most profound effect on my recovery...
I think that's one of the hardest part of recovery, is not knowing what to expect next.
It's nice to be able to normalise your feelings with others to 'keep yourself sane'.
I'm pretty certain that the anxiety caused from not drinking is the main 'killer' in people's recovery... I personally found that understanding anxiety and trying to address that has had the most profound effect on my recovery...
I'm a go-it-alone (except for the HUGE support of SR) person too. Thanks for the inspirational post!!
Murray
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