outtolunch

As some of you know, my now 22 yr old daughter is now 7.5 months pregnant and I have had no reason to believe she is using drugs. She quit smoking when she learned she was pregnant.

My home is her legal address and she is on our health care policy. She actually lives elsewhere, with the father of the baby and he most definitely does not do drugs.

Pregnancy seems to agree with her and she is doing well. Yesterday she received a bill from a diagnostic center for the portion that was not covered by insurance. This test was for an amphetamine panel. She hit the roof and showed me the bill. She did not know why they were testing for this and most definitely did not agree to it. Her reaction was not consistent with the situation, but then again, her reactions usually are not consistent with most situations.

She called the OBGYN office for a response and was told they do routine drug testing throughout pregnancy when the expecting, first presents for care, at mid term instead of early on. They said there is usually a reason for delayed medical care and sometimes that reason is drugs. She went off on them in a reaonable manner about being treated as a second class patient because she is not married and delayed prenatal care and she's tired of it. ( I thought this was good for her to share how she is feeling instead of internalizing) And yeah, I was listening from the adjoining room because I am codependent.

I am inferring she probably signed a consent form that allows them to obtain her medical history and there is history and bad debt at the local hospital, including being brought in by the Police when she was high as a kite on on a speedball.

Once off the phone she referred to the medical practice as a bunch of idiots because they failed to test for her doc, heroin.

The ole is she/isn't she kept me awake most of the night. I concluded it is unknown and there is not a darn thing I can do about it.

Time for me to buck up again and control the only thing I can, me.

keepinon

So hard to stay out of it. SHe's young and I remember being completely indignant at almost everything so getting tested although WE see it as no big deal probably just triggers her. I know my AD would probably curse them out for DARING to consider that even given her history.........

Lizzaayy

oh my, i am sorry you are dealing with that stress. i would be so worried about the little one.
hopefully, she is remaining sober. i pray that she is, for the sake of the baby's health and her own.
more often than not, the use of hardcore drugs while pregnant is evident because it deteriorates your health in a lot of dramatic ways.
so if she is healthy and gaining weight and having a good pregnancy, most likely everything is okay =)

i will keep all of you in my prayers

BBD

happens to the best of us. I remember a few years ago after having my pap smear I was billed for some portion of it. Apparentantly they tested me for STD's......Get out! I was furious I had to pay that portion. So from then on~~I tell them not to test me for that. Married and happy here.....so I can see how your daughter felt. Some things are just out of our hands but its great that she verbalized her concerns. Good luck with the pregnancy and congrats..Smiles, Bonnie

Kindeyes

Hey.....the important thing was it was her issue and she dealt with it. That sounds like a good thing to me.
gentle hugs

Chino

When I listen in on anyone it's because I'm being nosy. Some stuff answers questions, other stuff raises questions. Some stuff has taught me to run, while singing the ABC's with hands over my ears.

Makes me remember something a friend told me about a decade ago, don't ask the question unless you're ready for the answer. For me, listening in is the same as asking a question or two.

Good for you owning and sharing it! I had to own something today too. I knew it was the only way I would continue to grow

Ann

It's hard being a codependent AND a mama at the same time.

I think you did just fine, the listening thing...oh hell, let's call it what it was "eavesdropping", lol, well you owned it and you grabbed your recovery tools so it sounds like all is well in Limbville.

Hugs to you and prayers for your daughter and the baby.

newnormal4me

Well preggo hormones can also do a number on you! I have a coworker that told a story of going ballistic in a drive thru when she was pregnant, lol. I think all of us who have had kids can think of a time or two when we went overboard with emotions/feelings during pregnancy. So...given her history and your history I can see how it could send you for a spin. Sending good thoughts your way!