small towns
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: warming up
Posts: 114
small towns
Good morning! I wake up this morning and I look at my phone and guess what? I have an email for a friend who's mom was at the so called AA meeting I went to. I have not talked to this friend for sometime. So do you say her mom said something to her? I am going to guess yes!!!! The last time I tryed to go to al alon the same thing happened, but it was told to a co worker. OMG it makes me never want to go to any meeting EVER. What is with not opening your mouth thought that was the rule!!! 
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,641
Group conscience? Sounds like someone needs the"anonymous" part explained in more detail. Well maybe go to the meetings but not spill your guts when Blabbermom is present. Why should you be deprived of support just because Mrs Jabberlips can't keep her piehole shut?
Did you notice I gave you some useful names for Mrs AlgeswhatIheard and her silly offspring. I guess clueless is genetic too!
Did you notice I gave you some useful names for Mrs AlgeswhatIheard and her silly offspring. I guess clueless is genetic too!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Well, you had them pegged as a gossipy bunch, and I guess that was true.
I can't fathom breaking someone's anonymity that way, and I will say in the 30 years I've been around AA (my first husband got sober back then), I've heard of very few such instances. Maybe it's a small-town thing, where people are just used to being in each other's business.
Sorry it happened--it should not have.
Don't let your resentment about this unfortunate incident keep you from the benefits AA has to offer.
I can't fathom breaking someone's anonymity that way, and I will say in the 30 years I've been around AA (my first husband got sober back then), I've heard of very few such instances. Maybe it's a small-town thing, where people are just used to being in each other's business.
Sorry it happened--it should not have.
Don't let your resentment about this unfortunate incident keep you from the benefits AA has to offer.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
This was definitely a factor for me when I decided not to go to AA...I live in a small town and my clients and potential clients live there too. Reputation is everything in my business and I simply can not hope that 1. People wouldn't talk, or 2. People would understand the illness and not judge.
Sorry you had that experience...perhaps there is another nearby town or small city you could get to fairly easily?
Sorry you had that experience...perhaps there is another nearby town or small city you could get to fairly easily?
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by fighttowin 
Good morning! I wake up this morning and I look at my phone and guess what? I have an email for a friend who's mom was at the so called AA meeting I went to. I have not talked to this friend for sometime. So do you say her mom said something to her? I am going to guess yes!!!! The last time I tryed to go to al alon the same thing happened, but it was told to a co worker. OMG it makes me never want to go to any meeting EVER. What is with not opening your mouth thought that was the rule!!!
It may be something simple like that.
One thing's for sure when I look back at my past. I was the only one on the planet who believed nobody knew about my drinking. EVERYbody that knew me knew I was an alkie.....I was the last one to get a clue.
Eventually I learned the humility to be grateful I was in recovery and am proud of my "membership" in AA. It's really kinda funny if u think about it, we get dui's, get arrested, are abusive to our spouses and kids, are half-a$$ed workers, lie allllll the time........and that's ok that ppl see that stuff.....but OMG don't let anyone know I'm doing something to better myself....
--I did the same thing at first. "Our troubles, we think, are of our own making."
Being Me for the first time
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Wishek, North Dakota
Posts: 1,160
I live in a small town kinda reminds me of the song from Cheers " everybody knows your name "
Well phooey to them I say , who gives a ratts tail , I think Trader hit it on the head , were not ashammed of the snap we do in public sitting in bars falling off stools , hookin up with someones husband from up the street , or getting DWI's or getting our names posted in the local paper for something stupid we did when we were drunk .
So why not let these ppl know were getting better and trying to do something besides hearing that those ppl who found out something good about us and are gossiping about it on the same barstools we no longer warm up .
Personaly .. let um talk if it helps there heart beats go , and maybe just maybe someone mite learn something or wanna get what Ive got now and ask or attend a meeting cuz im doing way better then they are now .. by all means spead the word .. cuz my life is way better then it was prior to wasting my life on that stool .. JMO
Huggles Endzy
Well phooey to them I say , who gives a ratts tail , I think Trader hit it on the head , were not ashammed of the snap we do in public sitting in bars falling off stools , hookin up with someones husband from up the street , or getting DWI's or getting our names posted in the local paper for something stupid we did when we were drunk .
So why not let these ppl know were getting better and trying to do something besides hearing that those ppl who found out something good about us and are gossiping about it on the same barstools we no longer warm up .
Personaly .. let um talk if it helps there heart beats go , and maybe just maybe someone mite learn something or wanna get what Ive got now and ask or attend a meeting cuz im doing way better then they are now .. by all means spead the word .. cuz my life is way better then it was prior to wasting my life on that stool .. JMO
Huggles Endzy
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 232
I had a very similar experience within our very small town aa group. it completely turned me off and I have taken another approach with sobriety , outpatient treatment. I think it is difficult for someone who is just embracing their alcoholism to also need to develop a thick skin with people who should know better. I feel very vulnerable and that sort of negative atmosphere did little to curb my cravings to drink. I am so happy for those who are able to work the aa program the way it should be, with support and anonymity.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I agree with those above who are proud of their aa involvement, proud of their sobriety. I'm not an AA person but I brag about my sobriety and much prefer being known for being in recovery than being known for the drunen sl*t I used to be.
Groovy Dancer
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: The States
Posts: 4,751
I was thinking some of what Trader wrote when I read your post...Is it possible that their mother just asked your friend about you after seeing you at the meeting? That she never actually mentioned the meeting, but seeing you prompted mentioning you to your friend? Even this seems wrong, still it would not ruin your anonymity.
I don't blame you for bein upset. I hope you can find a way to stick with AA if it is helping you though.
I don't blame you for bein upset. I hope you can find a way to stick with AA if it is helping you though.
September 28th 2010...
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Manitoba, Canada
Posts: 47
Originally Posted by Carrie36
I had a very similar experience within our very small town aa group. it completely turned me off and I have taken another approach with sobriety , outpatient treatment. I think it is difficult for someone who is just embracing their alcoholism to also need to develop a thick skin with people who should know better. I feel very vulnerable and that sort of negative atmosphere did little to curb my cravings to drink. I am so happy for those who are able to work the aa program the way it should be, with support and anonymity.
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