Day 1....again
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 74
Day 1....again
Back to square one. Day 1 again. Kicking cocaine is hard. I really would love to have money in my pocket again, food in my house, cable on my tv, and just everything I used to have before. Oh I would also love to have my emotions back. I don't really feel anything anymore. I can't wait till the day when I am out of the mess I have made. It starts here and now. Wish me luck. I hope I can do it. I don't want to lose everything or die
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,249
Hello Divineangel, If I can stop using drugs, anyone can do it. You can and will do this. I say this because it seems like you want to be clean and drug free. Drugs ruin our lives, and take all that we own. My son is in the same situation as you. He is trying to restore his life, and replace all that he has lost due to his addiction. The wonderful thing is that you are still alive. At least you didn't lose your life, thank GOD. I have over 5 years clean from full blown addiction to opiates. Try to stay away from other users, and the dealer too. Keep busy, and replace that bad habit with a good habit. Replace it with exercise, or prayer, or what ever it is that makes you feel good. Nurture yourself. I'm routing for you. You can do it. Think positive, and ignore your brain when it tells you to go and get the drug. That's the tough part about getting clean. Your brain is consumed with thoughts of using the drug. I wish you Luck.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 74
Thanks Anna and Angelic and every one else. I am going to try my hardest to beat this. You are right. I still have my life. So while i may not have cable, or a home phone or my cell phone soon, I still have electricity and a roof and my life, which is the most important thing. It has taken so much from me and I willingly let it. I don't want it to take anymore from me, not anymore. It's not worth it.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Glad you're here and wanting to get clean - it's hard to face ourselves and the messes we make with our addiction. Just remember you are worth SO much more than having drugs run your life. It seems hard in the beginning, but each time we don't drink or use, it gets easier, we get stronger and we feel better. Remember to take it a day at a time (or a minute at a time). You can do it.
Prayers and hugs......
Prayers and hugs......
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Earth
Posts: 1,249
Divineangel, How are you doing today? Everyday is a milestone. So, keep pushing forward. And remember, if at first you don't succeed, TRY and TRY again.
You can do it. Addicts are strong, intelligent, and the most resourceful people in the world. I have faith in you girl. I just wanted to check in and see how your doing today. The first few days are always tough. But, we get through, with support, and love. You are in the right place for both of those things. Keep coming back, and we will all be right here cheering you on.
You can do it. Addicts are strong, intelligent, and the most resourceful people in the world. I have faith in you girl. I just wanted to check in and see how your doing today. The first few days are always tough. But, we get through, with support, and love. You are in the right place for both of those things. Keep coming back, and we will all be right here cheering you on.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 74
I am doing ok today. I know this is gonna sound weird but I'm happy cause I made myaelf a great dinner tonight. My cycle of use was often 4-9 days using in a row with little food or sleep followed by two days of grabbing fast food and crashing. So it was nice to come home and take the time to.cook. I know this is gonna be a challenge and I am so glad this place exists. Ill keep u posted
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
"Go ahead, make my day".
Well, you just did. The first day always seems hardest to me. The thoughts of my stupidity while drunk always prevented me from getting anything done, and going out for fast food seemed like such a chore that I normally would just eat whatever was in a can in the cupboard, lol.
Way to go!
Well, you just did. The first day always seems hardest to me. The thoughts of my stupidity while drunk always prevented me from getting anything done, and going out for fast food seemed like such a chore that I normally would just eat whatever was in a can in the cupboard, lol.
Way to go!
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Thanks! I woke up today feeling absolutely amazing. I got 11 hours sleep, sleep that didn't involve passing out from sheer exhaustion or being high as a kite. I feel renewed today. Just for today I will not use and that's good enough for me. I will keep you all posted on my progress
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Earth
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Divineangel, thanks so much for posting your progress. I'm so proud of you. Sounds like your gonna make it. Good for you. Hang in there, every day gets better and better. What's for dinner tonight? LOL. I'm hungry. 
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Thanks Saliena 
Daytrader - that's true....it's easy to keep using. Much harder to quit but as they say, anything worth having is worth fighting for. I want my life and enthusiasm back so I will fight.
Angelic: Well I don't think I have room for supper. I just ate a 6 inch thick Montreal smoked meat sandwich and a giant pickle lol I may be good for days after that meal. If I do eat later tho it will just be leftovers...how about you>> I wish I was more domestic LOL
Daytrader - that's true....it's easy to keep using. Much harder to quit but as they say, anything worth having is worth fighting for. I want my life and enthusiasm back so I will fight.
Angelic: Well I don't think I have room for supper. I just ate a 6 inch thick Montreal smoked meat sandwich and a giant pickle lol I may be good for days after that meal. If I do eat later tho it will just be leftovers...how about you>> I wish I was more domestic LOL
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Earth
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Divineangel, I cook every day. Mostly italian food. Tonight I made chicken and peppers, my husband loved it. I sauteed chicken cutlets, onions and garlic in olive oil, added orange, yellow, and red peppers, When the chicken and garlic cloves were golden brown it was done. Made a small salad, and some italian bread from the bakery. It was pretty good. I'm glad your hanging in there girl. Just don't pick up, no matter what. You will get better. Congrats on the few days that you have clean already. Be proud of yourself.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Divine:
I'm impressed with two things: that you seem to be thinking pretty straight about your addiction right now and that you appear to be having some nice things to eat. So every good wish to you! Try to keep your head on straight and don't worry about the diet right now. If all goes well there will be time for that later. The top priority is to get rid of all the stuff, both in the bod and in the house.
W.
I'm impressed with two things: that you seem to be thinking pretty straight about your addiction right now and that you appear to be having some nice things to eat. So every good wish to you! Try to keep your head on straight and don't worry about the diet right now. If all goes well there will be time for that later. The top priority is to get rid of all the stuff, both in the bod and in the house.
W.
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