Kindeyes

Well, I heard from my AS yesterday. He sounds so very lost but he also sounds like he wants to find his way. I am praying so hard that he does find his way. The conversation ended but he called me a few hours later and said that he was going to call detox to see if he could get in on Monday after his court date. He asked for some advice and instead of offering up my "wealth of knowledge" (that's a joke folks), I just said.....I'm not qualified to advise you about legal issues.

We'll see if he's able to follow through and find his way to detox and rehab. I'm praying hard and I know that I have all of you here praying too and that truly helps me.

The thing that I found so very interesting was how I felt AFTER he told me he was calling to see if he could get into detox. I didn't feel elated. I didn't feel "more hopeful". I'm learning not to feel an emotion based on something that HASN'T HAPPENED YET. I'm learning not to feel an emotion based upon something that I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. It felt kind of weird though.

At any rate.....the next few days will be interesting.

gentle hugs

suki44883

You are doing so good!

chicory

Sounds like he is nearing his bottom, mama.

Good for you, for not getting in between him and his HP!

I am so glad that you heard from him. I am keeping him in my prayers, especially now, as he is looking for better days. God bless him.

Funny how often they find their way, when we get out of the way- so I hear so often here.
Hang in there - this must be kind of unsettling, being a different way of dealing with his situation.
hugs,
chicory

BBD

Its a step in the right direction for him and you will see in the next few days if he means what he says. You do sound strong and thats a great feeling to have. Hugs and good luck, Bonnie

keepinon

I agree with Chicory..this guy seems to be contacting you more and more about getting into recovery. Glad you are not getting worked up, but it does sound like reason to hope....

kiki5711

Ann

It's not weird, Kindeyes, it's recovery working in you.

You have given up "expectations" (which is quite different from hope) and replaced it with calm "acceptance" acknowledging that you are powerless over the outcome (good Step One kicking in here) and leaving the rest to God.

Eventually this won`t feel weird, it will feel good and more natural. Certainly it will feel healthier.

I think your recovery is shining, and keep your boy in my prayers.

Hugs

Kindeyes

Ann
And I was just thinking that it was because I was sick and tired of the roller coaster ride. I'll just watch from the ground, if that's ok. lol Lovin' that Step One stuff!
gentle hugs

Kindeyes

Well, AS never called yesterday but that's ok....I'm ok. I rested and read (I actually TOOK A NAP!!) It was a wonderful relaxing day.

Today, I am thinking and praying for my AS. He had a court date this morning at 9:00.

It'll be interesting to see if he follows through with his comments about getting into detox once he's done with his appointment in court. I suspect I may hear from him today so I prepared by exercising my little heart out this morning; read from SESH (NarAnon) and have said the Serenity Prayer a few times.

I'm still feeling ok today but still had some anxiety ridden dreams last night. The kind that you wake up from all sweaty with a panicky feeling in your chest. But I got back to sleep quickly and got a good nights rest.

gentle hugs

BBD

Thinking of you today kindeyes as you wait for thew outcome. being strong is a hard thing to do at times....so hang on and know you have plenty of us thinking about oyu..Smiles, Bonnie

Kindeyes

I just received a brief email from my son. He didn't mention how his court date went this morning......all he said is that he was checking into detox tomorrow morning. He thanked me and told me he loves me.

tonight......he has my gentle hugs and prayers

newnormal4me

Prayers that he follows through...and that you stay strong. I have recently experienced some of that "lack of elation" over things. It is wierd, and so glad to see Ann say it is progress. I will take it.

****{HUGS}}}

Angelic17

Kindeyes, your a very good mother, and you have learned so much about addiction, and how not to enable your son. I wish I could have been that strong a few years ago. My son almost killed me. I thought trying to fix him was helping him. Little did I realize that it would kill me and it wasn't helping him. On a happier note, I am thrilled that your son is going to detox. He must be sick and tired of chasing his drugs, and he probably realizes that this isn't a great way to live his life. Choosing detox tomorrow morning is a wonderful thing. He will be in touch with you alot more now. Especially if he cleans up. I believe he will, and you will see your beautiful boy emerge from underneath the poisonous substances that he has been using. My son has 4 months clean, and he is growing in leaps and bounds. I haven't seen this side of him in a long time. It's my real son. I am enjoying this time with him. He calls me every day now. When he was using he didn't call me at all. He terrorized my heart and my mind.

I'm very happy to hear this about your son.
I sure hope he heals quickly and sticks with his program. He will come out of all of this a much better person. I sure hope that he understands that his brain is going to try to send him out. The addiction will fight to stay alive. It's unreal how the brain works. If you speak to him, tell him to focus on not picking up and not using. Tell him that it takes time before he will feel better, but if he doesn't use, he will feel better in time. If he does use, it will just set him back further. So here's a prayer for your son.

Dear Lord, Please hear my prayer, Kindeyes loves her boy very much, and she is worried about her son's health and safety. Please help her son. With all of your mighty powers and gifts take this young man and lift him up Lord. His mother has placed him in your care, and I know you will guide this young man to the right detox program tomorrow. Help him to get right in without a problem. Put all of the right people in his path Lord. Comfort him, and give him peace and rest while he goes through this tough time. Put your light and love all around him Lord. Help him to realize that he can and will get well if he wants to. Give him the strength to get through the cravings without using. Help him to replace his bad habits, with good habits. Show him your warmth and love, and send your angels to protect him.
In Jesus's name I pray. Amen

Please keep us posted Kindeyes.
I am praying that I read a post from you tomorrow saying that your son is getting the help he needs right now. I have tears in my eyes because I have lived all of this with my own son. I know the pain involved, and I know the love of a mother for her child.
He is going to be fine. GOD is good.