was it a codependent act or not?
curaezipirid
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 9
was it a codependent act or not?
Not at all sure yet about why I wanted to join these forums, since my own addictive behaviours have been well in hand a long while, and never amounted to too much of a problem: but I figure that wanting to post here, is a clear indication of a troubling sense of self doubt about addictive behaviour patterns, which I am a bit too close to now.
New relationship, with a man five years younger than me, with a number of substance abuse habits, including heroin, that he was first given when only 12 years old.
What else huh? need there be more?
he says everybody he knows on heroin wants to stop using
but he is not well informed about how other addictions can't be kept while giving that stuff up
And tonight? Well, a friend of his was starting to detox in his company, and I didn't want the agro; then they both wanted tobacco, asked me to buy some, and I had to explain that whenever I am in the company of folk who spend most of their money on drugs, when my payday rocks around, I spend all my money just as fast, but on clean stuff, like making the difference between all organic food, and regular. Him and his mate cottoned on to me, and paid some due respect; but then, what did I have to go and do? I went out and collected up a handful of cigarette butts out in the street, brought it all back to the flat where the two men slept, (my new favourite man of all time on the floor with his arm over his head, which has steel plates in it from an accident), rolled a cigarette, couldn't find a lighter, worried about the other guy's detox being too aggressive, and kissed my man goodbye, and came home via a long conversation on the street with few other addicts, about rehabilitation and protecting children from addictive behaviours.
Not too bad potentially. But I worry about why I want to supply the nicotine.
I am the lucky one, in that I received lessons in twelve step programmes, as a teenager, before I had ever used any drug, and while in a good relationship.
But had to surf the web looking for reassurance, and landing here, I know I didn't need to provide that tobacco.
So g'day from Australia to you all. 'Koomera' is an indigenous word for this land here now I love. Our land of many troubled hearts is waking us up into needing real recovery.
New relationship, with a man five years younger than me, with a number of substance abuse habits, including heroin, that he was first given when only 12 years old.
What else huh? need there be more?
he says everybody he knows on heroin wants to stop using
but he is not well informed about how other addictions can't be kept while giving that stuff up
And tonight? Well, a friend of his was starting to detox in his company, and I didn't want the agro; then they both wanted tobacco, asked me to buy some, and I had to explain that whenever I am in the company of folk who spend most of their money on drugs, when my payday rocks around, I spend all my money just as fast, but on clean stuff, like making the difference between all organic food, and regular. Him and his mate cottoned on to me, and paid some due respect; but then, what did I have to go and do? I went out and collected up a handful of cigarette butts out in the street, brought it all back to the flat where the two men slept, (my new favourite man of all time on the floor with his arm over his head, which has steel plates in it from an accident), rolled a cigarette, couldn't find a lighter, worried about the other guy's detox being too aggressive, and kissed my man goodbye, and came home via a long conversation on the street with few other addicts, about rehabilitation and protecting children from addictive behaviours.
Not too bad potentially. But I worry about why I want to supply the nicotine.
I am the lucky one, in that I received lessons in twelve step programmes, as a teenager, before I had ever used any drug, and while in a good relationship.
But had to surf the web looking for reassurance, and landing here, I know I didn't need to provide that tobacco.
So g'day from Australia to you all. 'Koomera' is an indigenous word for this land here now I love. Our land of many troubled hearts is waking us up into needing real recovery.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,288
I went out and collected up a handful of cigarette butts out in the street, brought it all back to the flat where the two men slept, (my new favourite man of all time on the floor with his arm over his head, which has steel plates in it from an accident), rolled a cigarette, couldn't find a lighter, worried about the other guy's detox being too aggressive, and kissed my man goodbye, and came home via a long conversation on the street with few other addicts, about rehabilitation and protecting children from addictive behaviours.
I'd say stay away from him and any other drug users. Look for uplifting people to date, with goals in life, with positive outlook on life. Don't waste years with someone who's just going to suck out (I call them emotional vampires) the life out of you for years before you realize you should have stayed away from the start.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,427
Welcome to SR curaezipirid
good to see another Aussie
I know I used to collect butts in the street....it was one of my lowest periods - it's not something I ever want to do again.
It's certainly not something I'd want someone else doing for me.
I agree with SSIL75 - I think you can live a better life than this and you deserve to.
D
good to see another Aussie
I know I used to collect butts in the street....it was one of my lowest periods - it's not something I ever want to do again.
It's certainly not something I'd want someone else doing for me.
I agree with SSIL75 - I think you can live a better life than this and you deserve to.
D
curaezipirid
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 9
advice all taken on board as the only kind of advice possible really, but so far I have been to visit him one more time already
good to know that nobody wants their girlfriend picking up butts but
here abouts, cigarette butts outside on the ground, (sub-tropical climate), get called "dumpers"; which is a joke since "dumper" sounds like "dump her"; so I made a gag about the rhyme with jumpers, (aussie for a sweater), which relies on an older gag about woolly jumpers being sheep crossed with kangaroo
I dunno, since I do know that when I crack jokes I am truthfully scared
good to know that nobody wants their girlfriend picking up butts but
here abouts, cigarette butts outside on the ground, (sub-tropical climate), get called "dumpers"; which is a joke since "dumper" sounds like "dump her"; so I made a gag about the rhyme with jumpers, (aussie for a sweater), which relies on an older gag about woolly jumpers being sheep crossed with kangaroo
I dunno, since I do know that when I crack jokes I am truthfully scared
curaezipirid
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Australia
Posts: 9
following up here, with the story of what happened next:
I have quit picking up dumpers/butts;
I have quit letting anybody pack tobacco into a cone of cannabis for me;
I have delivered myself out of the bravery of getting stoned every now and again with heroin users;
And I have made as thorough investigation as possible of all the barriers in the way preventing the man with whom I am in love, from getting himself into a 12 step programme . . . . (he was down to a couple of morphs a fortnight, but that didn't mean much whenever anything was being given for free, not until it was me who had to deter the bloke who was two days out of maxium security prison, had already been in a professional kick boxing fight, and wanted to get around telling about how he'd done 4/6 years of a sentence for torturing somebody who owed drug money) . . .
now where was I?
strangely, the white kick boxer did not scare me as much as the idea of black lesbian former gaol inmates, turning up to get my boyfriend to give them their shot; which he obliges them since they got no man to mind their fears, and so he does . . .
. . . = I am doing fine, in that my own fear level panned out well enough minded to getting myself out of that story before it became too dangerous for me
I have quit picking up dumpers/butts;
I have quit letting anybody pack tobacco into a cone of cannabis for me;
I have delivered myself out of the bravery of getting stoned every now and again with heroin users;
And I have made as thorough investigation as possible of all the barriers in the way preventing the man with whom I am in love, from getting himself into a 12 step programme . . . . (he was down to a couple of morphs a fortnight, but that didn't mean much whenever anything was being given for free, not until it was me who had to deter the bloke who was two days out of maxium security prison, had already been in a professional kick boxing fight, and wanted to get around telling about how he'd done 4/6 years of a sentence for torturing somebody who owed drug money) . . .
now where was I?
strangely, the white kick boxer did not scare me as much as the idea of black lesbian former gaol inmates, turning up to get my boyfriend to give them their shot; which he obliges them since they got no man to mind their fears, and so he does . . .
. . . = I am doing fine, in that my own fear level panned out well enough minded to getting myself out of that story before it became too dangerous for me
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