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New to SR -I am finally powerless

Old 09-26-2010, 12:32 AM
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New to SR -I am finally powerless

Hi new here. Finally can see how damaging my drinking is to my life. Able to hide it within a social group that drinks alot- but I finally managed to become the one that's out of control. Getting divorced had a meeting on Friday which sent me spiraling. Usual blackouts occurred. Acted like a dumb ass in public. Fell down and hit my head and had to be dragged home by my friend, who drinks alot - and I have him worried now. I have really scared
myself as I could have seriously injured myself- injured my reputation and horrified the guy I'm dating enough that we had to have a conversation about it. I've had lots of nights like this- but what I see now is the
low low self esteem I have, and the drinking I use to cover it up.
I have alot to lose if I keep drinking. I need to stop.
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Old 09-26-2010, 12:38 AM
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Welcome Maki

Many of us have had that realisation, including me.
When even your hard drinking friends get worried about you, it's definitely time to look in the mirror.

Good to have you with us - you'll find a lot of support here.
Any ideas on where to go from here yet?
D
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Old 09-26-2010, 02:10 AM
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Welcome to our recovery community....

Many of us are winning over alcohol
and that can be true for you too
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Old 09-26-2010, 02:24 AM
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oak
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Welcome Maki! I hope you like it here.
I'm glad you are looking at recovering.
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Old 09-26-2010, 03:07 AM
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(((Maki))) - Welcome to SR!!!

A lot of people, here, have been where you are. Alcohol wasn't my "thing", crack was but I did a lot of damage, on it, and hit a pretty low bottom.

I don't know often you're drinking, but would just like to recommend you see a dr. and get checked out...be honest about your drinking. Alcohol withdrawals can be very serious, even fatal, and it's always best to get medical advice.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 09-26-2010, 05:27 AM
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Welcome to SR! I also recommend seeing your doctor for help in quitting drinking. Detox can be dangerous so best to be safe.

I quit drinking for good almost ten months ago and my life is so much better now. Yours can be too.
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Old 09-26-2010, 05:37 AM
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Welcome.

You deserve a better life and hope you will find what best suits you to help you stop drinking.

I relate to the low self esteem. For me though alcohol robbed me of my self esteem if I ever had any.

Each day I am sober and working on recovery it comes back little by little.
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Old 09-26-2010, 05:58 AM
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Welcome, Maki!

I'm glad you found us and that you have decided to live a sober life!
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Old 09-26-2010, 06:25 AM
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to SR... glad you wish to do something about your drinking... you are making a great decisions. Nothing is good about drinking, it actually robs us of so many things in life, and of course our physical and mental health.

Read and post to this community, you will find great support, inspiration, and friendship.

One day at a time or one minute at a time, it is whatever it takes to get through a day sober. Your self esteem will come back, it takes sober days to make this happen. Sending hugs and positive thoughts.
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Old 09-26-2010, 06:31 AM
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Welcome,

I think every one of us here relates to how low you feel right now. But that's what it takes to be willing to do the work required for lasting change.

Although AA isn't the only way to get sober, it's the best way I know to change everything and get a new lease on life.
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Old 09-26-2010, 09:28 AM
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Maki
This:
I could have seriously injured myself
...this:
but what I see now is the
low low self esteem I have, and the drinking I use to cover it up.
..and this:
I have alot to lose if I keep drinking.
....I can relate,because that was me too...
...and for me too, it finally lead to the realization:
I need to stop.
It hasn't to stay this way. It's possible for you to recover and be happy and healthy again. Hugs, LS
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Old 09-26-2010, 01:47 PM
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You might find that your self esteem improves a little everyday that you stay sober. String together a whole bunch of days and then see how you feel about yourself.
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Old 09-26-2010, 03:06 PM
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Hi Maki

Welcome! I am also new, though not new to 12 Step Programs. But this time it has worked for me and can work for you, too, if you let it and you follow the instructions.

I've seen nothing but good here so far - and I'll keep coming back :o)
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Old 09-26-2010, 08:37 PM
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Glad you're here! I think Zebra had a really good point: while we like the self-esteem alcohol gives us (rather, pretends to give us), it starts taking it all away from us so that we're left feeling very alone and hopeless.

Give sobriety a chance. Take it one day at a time and don't think about the next day or the next week. Just get through today without a drink. I never thought I'd be able to do it, but it's been almost 5 months now and life sober really isn't so bad!
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Old 09-27-2010, 06:58 AM
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Welcome Maki! Glad you are here.

You will find so much useful info and tons of support.

I too went through a divorce and know all to well the thought to seek comfort/escape in a bottle.

I came out of it stronger then I could have imagined and I got sober. I found through a good program of recovery and hard work....that I feel great about myself again. I have my identity and self esteem back.

I urge to push forward. Sobriety is amazing....nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

Looking forward to your journey.
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