Escaping the poison...
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Escaping the poison...
I had a day today where I really got to put my recovery to the test and I am so grateful for having the 'tools' and time under my belt to be able to keep clear headed and work through the crap.
Basically when I became awash with the uncomfortable feelings and I didn't like them then I nailed a can of cherry coke which had been in the fridge for about a month (I guess it was there for a reason!) I had that and that helped and then I went into town to clear my head and bought a T-shirt for £10 for something to do and then I bumped into somebody I knew from work. A really nice girl who is well aware of my situation. It was great to have a chat to her clear headed and sober and presenting myself how I want to come across.
Basically it's easy to run away from uncomfortable feelings. My dad drinks and has ultimately made himself feel better by using alcohol, he ain't an alcoholic though, so that's Ok for him. For me then it simply ain't an option so I have to use my recovery to come naturally through bad feelings. All alcohol did to me was keep me in the poisonous thinking for a long time. I would have bumped into that girl and been a total idiot had I had been drinking. I would have felt terrible about it and drank more to forget, all the while stuck in a poisonous mindset of negativity of depression.
Now I feel good and living life on life's terms is the only solution for me.
Peace
Basically when I became awash with the uncomfortable feelings and I didn't like them then I nailed a can of cherry coke which had been in the fridge for about a month (I guess it was there for a reason!) I had that and that helped and then I went into town to clear my head and bought a T-shirt for £10 for something to do and then I bumped into somebody I knew from work. A really nice girl who is well aware of my situation. It was great to have a chat to her clear headed and sober and presenting myself how I want to come across.
Basically it's easy to run away from uncomfortable feelings. My dad drinks and has ultimately made himself feel better by using alcohol, he ain't an alcoholic though, so that's Ok for him. For me then it simply ain't an option so I have to use my recovery to come naturally through bad feelings. All alcohol did to me was keep me in the poisonous thinking for a long time. I would have bumped into that girl and been a total idiot had I had been drinking. I would have felt terrible about it and drank more to forget, all the while stuck in a poisonous mindset of negativity of depression.
Now I feel good and living life on life's terms is the only solution for me.
Peace
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Central Scotland
Posts: 174
Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST 
All alcohol did to me was keep me in the poisonous thinking for a long time. I would have bumped into that girl and been a total idiot had I had been drinking. I would have felt terrible about it and drank more to forget,
It's the worst feeling in the world and the only way to make it better is more drink - been in that movie a million times.
Remembering everything and being my real self is the thing I'm enjoying most in early recovery.
not little, a stranger no more
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: in the crowd
Posts: 410
to be able to keep clear headed and work through the crap
So tho speak, with drinking, the crap you're numbing out will probably come back again and again. So even if it's pretty sure that there will be some more crap, without drinking chances are higher that it will at least be different crap.
Even if you're not aware of it at that, time and if you're just happy to have gotten through that situation, it's still tiny but valuable progress
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