Anvil the Wise tells it like it is
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 545
Anvil the Wise tells it like it is
Was reading back through some old threads and found this gem from the anvilmeister. I remember being told something similar way back when and being totally stopped in my tracks and doing a big Homer Simpson "D'oh!"
Who did I think I was?
Who did I think I was?
Originally Posted by anvilhead 
did it occur to you that maybe he didn't SIGN UP for your self improvement course? that maybe he's FINE as is? that maybe he doesn't need or WANT your HELP?
let's talk about this HELP thing........what exactly are YOU going to HELP him do??? and how are you going to go about it? what steps do YOU plan to take to HELP him? why are you so certain that you are the Sobriety Fairy and can just wave your magic wand???? what experience do you have in the field of abstinence and recovery from addiction? what resources do you have to draw from? what other lives are on your resume that you have HELPED and could act as a reference?
and ultimately, HOW IS YOUR OWN LIFE GOING? is it a shining example of a life fully and well lived? do you eminate joy and bliss? are you content and at peace with the past? have you thoroughly examined your own condition and made improvements where necessary? is your body/mind/soul triad in balance?
i think these are very REAL questions you should be asking yourself. looking at yourself...............looking inward.
let's talk about this HELP thing........what exactly are YOU going to HELP him do??? and how are you going to go about it? what steps do YOU plan to take to HELP him? why are you so certain that you are the Sobriety Fairy and can just wave your magic wand???? what experience do you have in the field of abstinence and recovery from addiction? what resources do you have to draw from? what other lives are on your resume that you have HELPED and could act as a reference?
and ultimately, HOW IS YOUR OWN LIFE GOING? is it a shining example of a life fully and well lived? do you eminate joy and bliss? are you content and at peace with the past? have you thoroughly examined your own condition and made improvements where necessary? is your body/mind/soul triad in balance?
i think these are very REAL questions you should be asking yourself. looking at yourself...............looking inward.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Brings me back to several years ago when I said to my exabf "Don't you want to live a normal life?" He said "To me, this normal."
To him, he was fine as he was.
Hmmp, I thougth I was the sobriety fairy, I have the wand, I have the wings and the steeled toed bunnie slippers, so much for props!
To him, he was fine as he was.
Hmmp, I thougth I was the sobriety fairy, I have the wand, I have the wings and the steeled toed bunnie slippers, so much for props!
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 545
The bunny slippers are for us, Dolly!
I thought I knew best. And if I didn't already know, then I would damn well find out. That's how I found SR. Looking for help for him. I can't remember the exact search term I used, but I bet it went something like "How do I get my fiance to stop drinking and pay some ****ing attention that is not wrapped up in a whole load of manipulation because he has been drinking and is now trying to fool/make up to me".
I wanted to know how to fix him. How truly presumptious was that?
I thought I knew best. And if I didn't already know, then I would damn well find out. That's how I found SR. Looking for help for him. I can't remember the exact search term I used, but I bet it went something like "How do I get my fiance to stop drinking and pay some ****ing attention that is not wrapped up in a whole load of manipulation because he has been drinking and is now trying to fool/make up to me".
I wanted to know how to fix him. How truly presumptious was that?
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 1,118
Do you mean, after I've bought AH a cr*pload of vitamins because I'm afraid of his becoming malnourished, MAYBE, just MAYBE, I should crack open one of the 20 unopened bottles of vitamins I bought for myself from my sister-in-law and start taking them?
Or maybe, just maybe, I should do that BEFORE I think about buying AH vitamins?
Or maybe I should not buy AH vitamins at all, because he didn't ask me?
Or maybe even if he DID ask me, I should say, "go buy them yourself, you're an adult"?
Wow. I actually didn't know that line of thinking was going to go that far.
Or maybe, just maybe, I should do that BEFORE I think about buying AH vitamins?
Or maybe I should not buy AH vitamins at all, because he didn't ask me?
Or maybe even if he DID ask me, I should say, "go buy them yourself, you're an adult"?
Wow. I actually didn't know that line of thinking was going to go that far.
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