poisoned

Was sober for about 90 days until a week ago. I relapsed and I have no idea why. Well, actually I think I have underlying mental issues that I self medicate for. I am going back to the doctors today and see if they can help address the anxiety that I feel every day. Any advise is welcome. I think I will stick around here for a while and read.

Anna

Hi,

Welcome!

I'm glad to hear that you know what happened to make you relapse. That's a great start. And, many of us, me included, began self-medicating and ended up as alcoholics. It's a slippery slope.

Anxiety is really tough, and I have days when I feel fragile. But, there are many techniques that help with the anxiety - breathing techniques, meditation, exercise. I'm glad you're talking to your dr.

angelnz

I think your were incredibly brave not drinking for 90 days I am not even a week into it. I hope I have the inner strength you have and you do have it to get to 90 days.

You have done it and you will do it again!

LexieCat

Hi, and welcome!

I think a lot of us have anxiety to some extent, but drinking makes it much worse. I've found that AA has helped with it. Having a program and support system has made a huge difference for me.

NEOMARXIST

Yes, I think many who really abuse alcohol and drugs often have underlying mental health 'issues'. I know I used to self medicate for depression as well as other stuff. I had to also accept though that I am an alcoholic, so when I get the mental health on a nice even keel, then I mustn't drink again or else my mental health would be f*cked again.

I found my recovery program (AA + SR) helped a great deal with my mental health. But I also sought out help through going to the doctors and getting referred to the community mental health team on NHS.

All The Best

least

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you're going to the doctor to check out mental health issues. I drank to medicate my anxiety and depression, tho drinking made them both a lot worse. Now that I'm sober the depression and anxiety are much more bearable. I hope we can help you as much as this site has helped me.

Dee74

Welcome to SR poisoned
I hope your doctor will be able to help.

Let us know
D

LawMama

Welcome! I'll echo a lot of others and say I also self-medicated for a long time. Don't beat yourself up too much about your relapse....it sounds like you are on the right track again and today is all that matters.

Kmber2010

Glad you are back and addressing the bigger picture. I know all to well the need to self medicate....as many people do. I got sober and with a clear mind - began working on me.

By reaching out and doing the work.....I am a positive person (still a work in progress of course) and learning the tools of acceptance, forgiveness and the importance of self worth.

You can do this my friend. Looking forward to the journey.

artsoul

Welcome! Glad you're here. This site has helped me tremendously when I've had bad days mentally/emotionally. Be proud of yourself that you accomplished 90 days and that when you relapsed, you didn't stay out there.
That says a lot!:ghug3

poisoned

Well, I reset my sobriety date on this site. The meds my doctor gave me help very much but he only gave me a little bit. I also suggested seeing a psychiatrist but I can't afford one right now. Anyway, last night I ran out of my meds and the feelings came right back and I took four shots. I didn't get wasted or anything but I still have that feeling of guilt. I just need to get to the bottom of this in order to fix myself. Thank you all for the advise and wish me luck on my journey.

Dee74

Self medicating with booze was the worst decision I ever made.

I hope you can work out your medical issues poisoned - do you have plans to see another Dr?

D

LexieCat

You don't need to "get to the bottom of it" before you quit drinking. You pick up a drink when you are uncomfortable--that's what alcoholics DO. Your feelings of anxiety, while uncomfortable, aren't going to do you harm. The continued drinking, though, will.

Have you checked into AA? I believe most medications interact badly with alcohol.

poisoned

Once again I have set my sobriety date again. I only had 4 drinks but.. I don't know what else to say. Thank you for the help guys. I'm trying but the anxiety kills me. I called a Therapist but this stuff is expensive. The wrong side of my mind is good at convincing me that I can manage it, but I have been down that road before. The meds really help but once they are gone; so am I. I have not been drinking like before but it always seems to start that way. By the way AA meetings seem to give me panic attacks.

Kmber2010

I am sorry to hear that you are hitting bumps here and turning back to alcohol.

Having experienced anxiety/panic attacks....the drinking will not (I assure you) fix them and they will actually intensify them.

Everytime you restart the booze and stop....you are going through withdrawals. You need to stop drinking.

I found I was always looking for something to make the anxiety stop....booze or pills or what have you. I never actually tried dealing with them and getting counseling for it. I just became overwhelmed and wanted them to stop.

Many of us have self medicated but I can tell you that once I stopped drinking....the anxiety wasn't as bad as I thought. The truth is the actual anxiety will not kill you. Continuing to self medicate will harm you though.

I urge you to attend a meeting....I know it can be difficult....at the end of my drinking years....I was a virtual hermit and had some social phobia. Going out and seeing others set me into anxiety mode but getting support is key.

Check back in with the Dr. and see if you can get a referral for a counselor. Someone to talk to who can help you break down the anxiety and work with you on a treatment plan. Medications may or may not be needed but in and out drinking is going to flub anyone's body up and worsen the existing anxiety.

Keep sharing but for me I had to quit drinking to really begin to work on my underlying issues....not the other way around.

poisoned

I just admitted to my mother that I have been drinking and that I am going to have to detox again. I have not drank today and I feel as if I was already dead. My mother left and refuses to speak to me. I don't know what to do. Can I try to taper off a bit before detoxing or is cold turkey the only way. I have antabuse but have never taken it. Should I take it? I don't know what to do. I feel hopeless and more lost than I ever have in my life. Someone please help or I will be dead soon.

Dee74

My advice is to seek professional medical advice poisoned.
going cold turkey can be dangerous, and tapering never worked for me.

Play it safe and see a Dr.
D

LexieCat

I wouldn't take the Antabuse. If there's ANY alcohol in your system still it could make you violently ill.

You can call 911 and ask for help to get to detox or to the ER where they can admit you for detox. I'm sorry your mother isn't talking to you, but I'm sure she is scared for you and frustrated.

CarolD

In many areas the Salvation Army has free de tox centers.
The average stay is 3 days ...to make sure you are out of
the danger zone serious complications.

Please look in yoour local phone book.

Welcome back to SR.....

poisoned

I had four drinks and that made me feel normal again but something tells me that I have a long journey ahead of me. I can't do detox or ER because I just got a new job and I really like it. I am going to have to do this another way. I will beat this though.