valleygrl12

hey so im a 22yr old addict and this step is really hard for me. Like I already know i'm a scumbag when im on drugs and alcohol, i really don't need to put it on paper. I need help with this step...anyone got any suggestions? thanks!

Missybuns

I had worked with my sponsor very closely on the first three steps which prepared me for step 4. By the time I got to step 4 I knew it was about an inventory that included ALL and not just the terrible or "scum bag" things I did while using. There was motivation behind my behaviors good and bad. Making this list (inventory) helped me to see the exact nature of my wrongs we share in step 5...that's why it's step 4. See it's not about the wrongs we did...it's about the exact nature of our wrongs that helps us in our recovery. Also there are assets we discover about ourselves in this step too. Step 4 is for scooping up the pile so we can do the next right thing with it. Shame and guilt have swallowed us up in the past (while we were using) and this step gives us a way we can continue in the process of forgiving ourselves.

There are several pieces of literature on working step 4.

Do you have a sponsor who has worked the steps?

Peace,
Missy

Gmoney

It is always helpful to read the literature associated with each step.

ethanol0

This is not about you being a scumbag. Actually, it's the opposite.

This is for learning for yourself about your nature and your problem of Self.

If your car problem is your fuel system, you can't fix it until you understand the nature of your problem, and that it's not some other problem.

"Scumbag" is name-calling. Stop it. That's part of your problem. Stop being a Judge. You are unqualified, so says the Big Book, to be Playing God in that manner. Stop the condemnation. "We quit playing God. It didn't work." (That's in the AA Big Book, under Step Three.)

Just for laughs, let's consider that you are a crappy judge of your own character, and let's consider that the people who labeled you a "scumbag" are also ignorant of humanity and spiritual concepts. You and they are equally stupid.

The previous is not meant as a judgmental condemnation either. Get it?

God is our Judge, and God's job (since the A.D. era) is really Forgiveness and Love, not condemnation. So you are doing it wrong anyhow when you play God. Instead, try serving God instead of playing God, and try helping others who need and want your help.

Now move on by beginning to read Steps 3 and 4 (I suggest the AA Big Book -- I'm prejudiced) and see if you understand it better. See if you can use the ideas to identify the exact nature of your "wrongs", not just "what you did that was wrong" but your wrong ideas and your tendency to have a partially or completely defective character.

IMO, that's like having a "defective personality", but deeper than mere personality. Defective means "broken". Step Four is the beginning of a path to fix whatever is broken, or to have it repaired by an Expert (with your involvement).

Factory Refurb character is better than broken character, IMO. The Christians call it "being reborn" (if some of them really have a clue what "reborn" means).

The end result is this is a new opportunity for You to love You, when you learn to accept your past and present shortcomings, to seek improvement, to seek rebirth, and to learn to love your real God-ly nature. The end result -- if this is not too corny -- is that you will learn that you are really an angel-being, just a bit f'ed up in the head.

Cool?

When you learn to love your own God-ly nature, your Spirit, and a new kind of Self (which is still "you") develops that you can more easily enjoy and appreciate and love, then you will also discover that you love God at the same time. That's what I experienced.

Gmoney

Valley Girl only posted once here at SR (last September), and has not returned.

Missybuns

Yes, this is ubundantly clear. I share in the fellowship/program I'm in out of respect for both.

Peace,
Missy

Gmoney

When I was geeked out of my mind, I WAS a scumbag too. Mean, offensive and despicable....yeah...that's a pretty accurate description. Some may refer to how we described ourselves during active addiction as "name calling" but as long as we're honest it really isn't about playing God or being any type of ultimate authority. When we do our inventory we simply tell the truth in whatever terms suits us.

In Narcotics Anonymous "our" understanding of a Higher Power is total and without any catches. We can call it the program, the group or we can call it God. No member has the authority to tell any other member what to believe, who is their judge, or how to conceive a Power greater than themselves. In NA, it is suggested that we share ES&H...not preaching or moralizing.