rose

I myself did give it a whirl and I whirled right back out. I had 3 encounters and all three only had one thing in mind, there was no way on earth was it going to happen....oh crap then I got taken off thier favorite list now I am down to 0. Oh ya it is a real confidence builder! LOL

Rose

Ann

I think it is dangerous and a world filled with predators.

On the internet you can take on any personna you want, nobody can see you or know you enough to challenge who you say you are.

It happens more often than you think. Even in a safe place like here at SR, we are constantly on the watch for predators who come here to prey on victims when they are most vulnerable (and we're quite successful, I might add).

Rose, I am glad you are safe and hope you will consider ways to meet people in person instead. Take up a hobby, take a course in something you enjoy, and that way you get to have fun, even if Mr. Right doesn't come along.

Big hugs for throwing those 3 fish back.

dollydo

Pass, thank you! Too many horror stories! Lots of con men out there, preying on lonely women.

ItsmeAlice

The words of caution are universal. There are con-men/women and scoundrels everywhere. They are in churches, bars, workplaces, and anywhere singles congregate to meet. It used to be mail order companies and personal ads made targets easy pickings and I agree that the internet has just added another avenue.

And yet, I have received encouragement now from three different older ladies, all longtime friends of my mother, who dated, fell in love, and married their now husbands through matchmaking websites after being divorced for years and trying to meet elligible men through church and other activities.

I have no clear idea in mind how I may try dating again. I do not know that it won't happen unless I become more available one way or another, either thru hobbies that introduce me other people, specific singles activities, or even a matchmaker.

I guess it's just what I feel safe doing.

Alice

Freedom1990

Internet dating was how I finally hit my codependent in 1999 when the ex-fiance walked out on me and my youngest daughter.

I won't ever set myself up like that again.

Dating isn't even bottom on my list right now. My life is full and busy without a man, thank you very much.

Callie

Rose, I've heard good things from several people about E-Harmony. I think the others are just meat markets from what I've heard.

Ann

Google the words "e-harmony fraud" and you will find endless stories of problems on many good sites (as well as bad) including Consumer Affairs (no pun intended, lol).

The commercials look good...the reality isn't.

Please just be careful, Rose.

Hugs

Callie

Wow Ann, I didn't know that! Thanks for pointing that out. I have 3 friends that have used it and not had problems, but knowing my luck, I would!

KariSue

My daughter has met several guys online and they were all nice. Years ago she was raped by someone she met in person. Sooo, it doesn't matter where you originally meet them but rather how many safety precautions you take in either case. Well, not exactly. She took the safety precautions with the rapist. So you take your chances no matter what I guess.

I have a friend who married someone from eharmony and a friend that has had good luck dating from match.com.

Kari

CatsPajamas

I've had good experiences and not-so-good, nothing dangerous in my particular case. I like the informal nature of chatting with someone via email or instant chat prior to meeting in person. When I did meet, I had a plan - we met in a very public place and at least 2 of my close friends were on standby- one to call me at a prearranged time and another ready to take my call if I needed anything.

I met The Most Wonderful Man in The World on Match.com. He's truly a gem, not an A, just a great regular guy who treats me with dignity and respect. I consider him a gift from my HP ... I was finally ready and healthy enough for a healthy relationship... my HP wrapped him up and dropped him into my world and said DON"T mess this up!

I'd also have to say that when I wasn't as healthy as I am today, I both attracted and was attracted to men who also weren't healthy. As I did the work I needed to do, learned about myself, peeled back the layers etc... I found I looked at a different type of profile and was able to read them with a different perspective. No more bad boys or "fixer uppers" for me!

IT worked for me, but might not work for everyone.

blackstrat6

My Gf and I met online. It is the best relationship we have ever been in. We might be the minority but it worked for us. If you do go online to meet someone just use caution and don't rush into anything. Also meet in a public place the first time.
We never used the pay sites, in my opinion they are a scam.

parentneedshelp

well I have to say.. I did it and meet the man of my dreams. He lived in Cali I lived in Fl.. we have been living together for over 9 years now and are still very much in love and happy. we now have a 4 yr old son to add to our happy family. I am proof that it can and does work if you find that right person..

CatsPajamas

Cynical one's post reminds me that we all need to be careful here on SR as well. Just like the online dating world - I don't really know anyone here on SR. Although I THINK I do, because I know the story that a member told here online, I have to remember that the real life situation could be vastly different than what's portrayed here.

Just a reminder to be careful and to not give out too much personal information or share contact information unless it's necessary.

A Friendly Public Service Announcement from your local mods...

sofacat

Well.... I am a hairdresser,

And say with MOST CERTAINTY that some of the reputable sites have proven to be VERY SUCCESSFUL for some people.

I have done weddings for many people who have met online. And know quite a few happy couples that have met through internet dating sites.

There is one in particular that comes up quite a bit.... E Harmony.

In another 3 months, after my "no dating" moratorium is up.... I am actually considering this for myself. I've never done anything like it before,
but I am in my 40's...I don't go to bars (and I don't want to meet a man that does~ ehem ... I own a business, and a home. I am pretty busy.

I think if it's a site you have to pay for, then you know the people there are pretty dedicated to finding something real. I think the free sites are a meat market...and can be a bit dangerous.

Hope this helps.

PeaceTrain

I have used the online dating sites on and off over the last few years. I have never met that Mr. Right (if that person even exists!), but I have met and gone out with very nice people. Common sense should be excercised. I exchange emails and not phone numbers, first meeting in a busy coffee shop. Usually after the coffee meeting, you can tell if you should go to a second date. For me, usually dinner in my area in busy restaurant. I never give money to someone or even my life history - why! I always meet the person there and drive home by myself.
Many people I know have found nice people via internet dating.
I have not met sinister, predators (although I'm sure they exist) - just people who sometimes misrepresent themselves --
6 ft really 5' 6"
Owner of a medical company - really -- sells urine kits on the internet!!

These are true! Be cautious - But give it a try - many seem to have fun with it.

HurtingDad

Now I'm talking 13 years. Recently divorced then, went online and wound up meeting my wife from it. Had a few dates with others before her, nice people, just no chemistry.
But I do hear horror stories. Like anything else, if someone sounds to good to be true, he probably isnt.

rose

I am going to check out e-harmony fraud Ann. Thanks for that information!

Rose