Mambo Queen

On Monday I got a voice message from my XAH's sister. She said that XAH had asked her if she would let me know that on Thursday, he would be either going to a homeless shelter or checking into a mental hospital. She said he wasn't asking anything from me, just had asked her to call me and let me know so she didn't want to lie to him and say she had called me if she hadn't. She also said that XAH would like to hear from dd before Thursday.

I know I don't have the strength yet to navigate that call myself. So my first inclination was to ignore the request altogether. However, a couple of the threads I read today are making me feel a little guilty about that, so now I'm thinking of asking my mother if she'll have dd call XAH tonight (I'm working late tonight anyway so won't even be home). Does that seem like a reasonable plan? Or should I just stick with my first inclination to ignore it?

Still Waters

If I roll my eyeballs any harder, I'll fall out of my chair.

What a whiny manipulating baby he is. Maybe it's time he replaced his diapers with big boy pants and either sh*t or get off the pot. If HE wants to hear from HIS daughter, then HE can make the proper arrangements. Can he not call HIS dd at your Mom's?

Gads.

Mambo Queen

Yes, he could. That has been my thought for a while. I will say though that he is scared to call my parents house (where I currently live) because he knows what my parents think of him--and I like it that way, because it gives me peace in my home. So I don't especially want to encourage him to call their number. But you are right, if it meant so much to him he could grow a pair and call my parents number and ask to speak to her.

suki44883

I totally agree with Still Waters. He's trying to manipulate you and make you feel guilty. To heck with that!

Still Waters

Then allow him to either grow a pair, or not - without your intervention?

Honestly, he could have just CALLED to speak to his child rather than going on about 'homeless' and 'mental institution" blah blah blah.

My sympathy meter is broke.

coyote21

Yes, screw the guilt, my angst was that my axw WAS calling all the time. Your situation is vastly different, but I do understand just not wanting to interact on ANY level with them.

But my MAIN reason for replying is, despite the gravity of ALL our situations on here, goddamnit, sometimes a reply like SW's just make me laugh so hard my eyes water. I think being able to laugh at ANYTHING, under the circumstances, is an amazing and therapeutic gift.

Thanks SW and HP. You're keeping pretty good company there Still Waters!

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

coyote21

You're killing me over here.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

Carol Star

I think the guilt is a hook. Let him figure out how to get in touch with her. Let go or be dragged. A friend told me "I got to the point sentimentality didn't serve me anymore." Your X and dd will always have a relationship. Let him make the effort to figure it out (after he grows a couple).

hadenoughnow

Could he be more OMG teh drama!? Last I heard the Salvation Army and mental hospitals still have phones.........

It's just another hook to try and get you to rescue him again.

freebuthurting

Found myself giggling quite hard at SW replies too.

nodaybut2day

Still...if that happened and, god forbid, you were injured, how would the doctor's notes read? Maybe like this??

"Patient suffered moderate head trauma subsequent to a backward fall from seated position, due to excessive eyeball motion (in reaction to exposure to bovine excrement)"

Oh wait, mambo queen, I *found* it: the world's tiniest violin...and it's playing for your XAH!



Seriously though. This is utter manipulation.

kiki5711

:rotfxko:rotfxko

Great thread!

sorry, situation not funny, but the replies "rock".

theuncertainty

All the replies have lightened my day. (Thanks!)

Hi, Mambo. I'd agree that you do not have to feel obligated to call XAH. He is an adult and obviously has the capability to dial a phone number since he called his sister. His story really feels like manipulation rather than a sincere desire to talk with your DD.

Wishing you peace and strength.

Kassie2

I would also say, having been in the situation of the hospital SW calling me to tell me that I needed to be there, that you do what you need to do. I got the call from the hospital staff b/c he was too drunk to do so himself. My response - asked his condition and when I knew he was in good hands I let go. The SW wanted to put it on me but I didn't let him.

With a child involved - wait for the hospital call that he is there and it is ok to bring his dd. Then pray and let go.