Learn2Live

My parents are in there 70s and my schizophrenic alcoholic brother lives with them. My mother called me on the phone and I talked to her for almost an hour. She gives them both money for alcohol, enables them, busts her ass to take care of the house and just keeps giving them money!!!! I told her last month she has to stop giving him money. But when she doesnt he has no alcohol and he starts screaming schizophrenic nonsense at my AD. If u have never heard schizophrenic talk u cannot know what i am talking about. It is nothing like crazy people you see portrayed in the movies. He has sent everyone 30 pages of mad writing about government conspiracies and bible prophecies, and this crazy story that just gets longer and crazier every year. My mother is distraught, I dont know what to do to help her. I am out of my mind in anger I cannot tell you how this is. I called him on the phone and threatened him he HAS to stop the drinking or i am going to move my parents and not tell him where. There is no choice but to let him be homeless. I cannot help him. I am just so ******* angry i cannot stop. I tried to do yoga to calm myself down i could not do it. I just want to break everything in this ******* house.

Learn2Live

Sorry AD I mean alcoholi dad. He screams violently at him. They are not able to handle this!!!!!

Pelican

I'm sorry L2L!

Scream, yell, curse and punch some pillows so you don't hurt yourself physically (or break anything you might regret)

Bernadette

Sounds like a volatile situation L2L. I would also have a hard time transforming that anger! Keep breathing! Keep posting! We're here!!

Peace-
B

Klynn33

wow - that's a hard situation to be in.....stress you don't need I'm sure! sad you're going through this, wish I had the perfect advice, sadly I have none. I am great, however, at listening to people vent - so yell away!!

HealingWillCome

I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry you are going through this L2L.

You always have wise words to offer others. What would you offer in the way of ES&H if this were someone else...and you were reading their post?

Hugs and peace to you.

Learn2Live

I am so angry i cannot even think.

transformyself

Gosh Girl I'm so sorry. He sounds dangerous.

No matter what you decide to do, I pray you can get to a place of peace from which to operate.

Or, put it to good work and go get all Arnold Schwarzenagger on him.

But that's probably bad advice.

Vent away Darling. As the lovely Bernedatte said, we're here.

Hollyanne

Sorry you are having a really awful time.
Do you have brothers/sisters or aunts/uncles?
If it was possible to have your parents come stay with you, they would be safe.
Or even just your mom as you say your dad is alcoholic too.
If they have money for drink, maybe you could take time off work to care for them as it is a full time job sorting this stuff out.
I recently moved home and ended up moving someone to a nursing home. Even though he was incontinent and very ill and was causing huge anxiety, nobody was doing anything.
My elderly parents sat back while we (kids) sorted it out. They were so helpless it was infuriating. He is soooooo much better! They are soooooo happy.
How about some social services help? The squeeky wheel gets the oil! Demand help!
Have him arrested if you need to. He may be very manipulative also.
You do not say if your parents own/rent. How well off are you? Money helps.
Also, keep in mind that they may be unwilling to do anything drastic and therefore you cannot help. If so, take a step back and don't listen to the complaints for too long.
Take your mother out and do something nice. she would love that, girly day.
I will keep you in my thoughts and send good vibes. Keep coming here and putting it out there. You could get that nugget of advice you need.
big hugs.

Learn2Live

They are BROKE! My dad drank away every ******* cent. I grew up at poverty level. They are STILL at poverty level! He just keeps SITTING there drinking, with his bloated stomach and his swollen ankles, making all these ******* noises. And she goes out every day scrubbing other people's toilets and comes home to these drunk, smoking, crazy ******* people. She stays out of the house as long as she can. She will never leave him and feels so guilty, thinks she caused it all!!! I try to tell her these things we talk about but she will not leave them.

theuncertainty

Learn, I wish so much I had any words to help; your words have been such a wonderful support, whether on my threads or others. Vent away, get it off your chest. Big, big hugs.

Hollyanne

Just kidding. Well so are my parents broke as my dad did the same! Wow, them were some fun times. He actually stopped drinking at the threat of commital. That was his "bottom" obviously.
My mother chose to stay also, Catholic.
I am frustrated by the unwillingness to change. Maybe, you could trick your mother into coming to you for a while. Tell her, you can't cope and need her?
Have you your own family? Maybe, you could say, the only way she can see them is by coming over. And yes, you will have to collect her.
I am sorry she is working so hard. Isn't it lunacy? What about social services?
Any chance there? Could you do something behind the scenes to get your brother into other accomodation?
hugs:

tjp613

L2L -- the only thing I can offer in a way of a suggestion is to call your local mental health association...PLEASE. I am quite sure they will have some ideas for you or, if nothing else, can at least offer some much needed support for you.

Please call the national hotline at 1-800-273-TALK
Here is the website: Mental Health America: Get Help

coyote21

Try this till you have to stop. Amazon.com: heavy bag

Also the Serenity Prayerx10,000

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

LexieCat

One other thought is to call your local office for the elderly. They might be able to assist, as well.

I'm so sorry you and your mom are dealing with this situation.

Learn2Live

There is no place for my brother to go in this state. They have closed most of the state mental hospitals. Unless he breaks the law, they will do nothing. Then they put him in jail and he gets his ass kicked because he is a crazy person in jail with a bunch of assholes. So they put him in solitary confinement. We go thru this every year, at least once a year. He seems to get worse when the seasons change. I think that is why they call it "lunacy."

Hollyanne

This is where I start getting pissed off! How much does prison cost per person? How much was the bridge to nowhere?
And this guy has nowhere to go.
AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

chicory

Learn2live,
I am soo sorry. It must be maddening for you, to not be able to do anything about this.
I wish your mom could just leave the two of them there.

I am with the others, about themental health line. there is a lot of "talk" about mental health these days. perhaps there are some programs. there must be something someone can do. How do they live?
I swear, If he is dangerous, or abusing them, i would think that you could get him committed somewhere. there must be some kind of care for mentally ill folks. is there any medications that your brother can take?
you know, if they close down mental hospitals, they leave folks no choice but to build cages and keep the poor miserable maniacal sufferers in. how are we supposed to manage those kind of situations?
I would call any kind of crisis center you have around.

that mental health line number is probably your best bet, hon.

I will be praying for you all.
Breathe-
Breathe-
Breathe-

i am soo sorry .

LaTeeDa

Said will all due respect and as much gentleness as I can muster.

What, if anything about this situation do you have control over? Focus on that. And maybe say the serenity prayer a few (hundred) times. That's the best I can come up with.

L

Learn2Live

You are right LTD, I have absolutely no control over anything regarding this situation. But when it is your elderly mother who is sick and struggling, and to top it off the kindest, sweetest person you have ever met, you WANT to do something. What can I do? I told her to leave them both. She just cannot do it. She feels obligated, that it's her responsibility. I'm sure all I did was stress her out more telling her to leave. My head hurts