Tell me how NOT to drink while on vacation
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 19
Tell me how NOT to drink while on vacation
My husband and I travel a lot and we have a couple of trips coming up that I am very worried about. Both of these were booked before I decided to stop drinking. One is a cruise (Celebrity) and the other is Italy (Tuscany) next year. Although I'm still very new to sobriety, how I"m going to handle these trips without drinking and still feel like I'm not missing out on anything is really scaring me.
In the past, we would have drinks on our ship balcony before dinner and I really enjoyed that. In Italy, we love going to the hilltop towns and tasting their local wines - not to mention having wine with a nice italian dinner. Canceling these trips are not an option - deposits are made and my husband and I have been looking forward to them for some time. They are several months away yet so I do have time to become sober longer and stronger with AA.
Beer was my drug of choice (and I drank a lot of it). I never drank much wine and hardly ever drank the hard stuff. I've been reading posts where people went on vacation and had a few drinks thinking they could just stop again but when they got home the drinking continued. I know I won't ever be able to have another beer or I'll be hooked again - but I'm scared I will think having a few glasses of wine will be okay.
If anyone out there has some tips for how I can make it through these situations, it would really ease the fear I have with this.
In the past, we would have drinks on our ship balcony before dinner and I really enjoyed that. In Italy, we love going to the hilltop towns and tasting their local wines - not to mention having wine with a nice italian dinner. Canceling these trips are not an option - deposits are made and my husband and I have been looking forward to them for some time. They are several months away yet so I do have time to become sober longer and stronger with AA.
Beer was my drug of choice (and I drank a lot of it). I never drank much wine and hardly ever drank the hard stuff. I've been reading posts where people went on vacation and had a few drinks thinking they could just stop again but when they got home the drinking continued. I know I won't ever be able to have another beer or I'll be hooked again - but I'm scared I will think having a few glasses of wine will be okay.
If anyone out there has some tips for how I can make it through these situations, it would really ease the fear I have with this.
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 318
Hey living...don't pick up the first drink and you will be fine. Hubby and I went to Europe on 2008 and I was pissed drunk the entire time...hungover and didn't feel like doing anything...felt like sh't most mornings. My advice, go and enjoy the beautiful things that there are to see and stay sober...you will enjoy yourself so much more and not have to wake to the guilt or remorse the comes with the booze for us alcoholics.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Often there are AA meetings on cruise ships. You might see signs (or can post one yourself) asking to meet other "friends of Bill W."
AA also exists in almost every country in the world (I went to the AA International Convention in July, and there were over 90 countries represented). Contact AA World Services to get lists of meetings where you are going to be. Lots of people who love to travel LOVE going to meetings in other countries.
I'd pass on the winery tours if at all possible. Maybe while your husband is doing that you could do a little sightseeing on your own, shopping, etc.
As far as the dinners go, water goes with EVERYTHING. Just remember that anything containing alcohol is deathly allergenic to you. Other people can enjoy it; you can't.
You may have to put a bit more thought and planning into this trip than you would otherwise, but you can have fun without drinking. I would also take some phone numbers with you in case you get into a bad place mentally, just to help you talk it through. Keep in touch with sober friends back home when you need the reinforcement. Also take your Big Book and some other AA literature with you to read. Staying focused on your recovery while you are on vacation is important--we don't get a vacation from our disease.
AA also exists in almost every country in the world (I went to the AA International Convention in July, and there were over 90 countries represented). Contact AA World Services to get lists of meetings where you are going to be. Lots of people who love to travel LOVE going to meetings in other countries.
I'd pass on the winery tours if at all possible. Maybe while your husband is doing that you could do a little sightseeing on your own, shopping, etc.
As far as the dinners go, water goes with EVERYTHING. Just remember that anything containing alcohol is deathly allergenic to you. Other people can enjoy it; you can't.
You may have to put a bit more thought and planning into this trip than you would otherwise, but you can have fun without drinking. I would also take some phone numbers with you in case you get into a bad place mentally, just to help you talk it through. Keep in touch with sober friends back home when you need the reinforcement. Also take your Big Book and some other AA literature with you to read. Staying focused on your recovery while you are on vacation is important--we don't get a vacation from our disease.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Most cruise lines have AA meetings..they are usually listed as
"Friends of Bills"
There are also AA meetings all over the world.
Yes....I've had many sober vacations. Yes...I did atend AA on them.
While beer and wine never particularlly interested me.....if I had
nothing else available.....sure I would drink them.
Booze is booze is booze....the high was the point.....
By the time you go on vacation....I too hope you will be stronger
and remember all the reasons alcohol is not for you.
"Friends of Bills"
There are also AA meetings all over the world.
Yes....I've had many sober vacations. Yes...I did atend AA on them.
While beer and wine never particularlly interested me.....if I had
nothing else available.....sure I would drink them.
Booze is booze is booze....the high was the point.....
By the time you go on vacation....I too hope you will be stronger
and remember all the reasons alcohol is not for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Between Serenity and Despair
Posts: 522
LivingAgain - Vacations are still hard for me, even after 2.75 years of sobriety. I think Lexie had some great suggestions, though. When your husband does the winery tour, find something else to do. If you're an AA, seek out AA meetings. That might be an adventure in itself.
One positive aspect of being sober I've found is that I don't have to shut things down after I get too drunk. I can go do things all night long if I want to. When I drank, there was always the consideration of how drunk I'd be when it came time for x activity.
You've got a few months to prepare for this. Research sober activities. Make sure you get to do some fun things to make the vacation feel special to you. One of the mistakes I made in my early sobriety was to allow myself to be dragged on activities that were drinking oriented. Usually, there was nothing to do but stand around and watch everybody else get drunk. I've learned since to speak up. I tell my husband I don't want to do X, that he can go by himself. We've had a few tiffs, but I think he's coming to understand my "why" a little better.
Sobriety is a big adjustment in your life. Don't be ashamed to make the changes you need to make.
One positive aspect of being sober I've found is that I don't have to shut things down after I get too drunk. I can go do things all night long if I want to. When I drank, there was always the consideration of how drunk I'd be when it came time for x activity.
You've got a few months to prepare for this. Research sober activities. Make sure you get to do some fun things to make the vacation feel special to you. One of the mistakes I made in my early sobriety was to allow myself to be dragged on activities that were drinking oriented. Usually, there was nothing to do but stand around and watch everybody else get drunk. I've learned since to speak up. I tell my husband I don't want to do X, that he can go by himself. We've had a few tiffs, but I think he's coming to understand my "why" a little better.
Sobriety is a big adjustment in your life. Don't be ashamed to make the changes you need to make.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I suppose someone who
doesnt know you would
ask why in the world would
someone get sober before
2 huge trips that are secured
where alcohol will be flowing
freely?
This is someone who is not
familiar with your story.
There are many reasons
people stop drinking mainly
cause so many things have
happened to them like hitting
a bottom or they have had
enough of it.
In early recovery I was still
squirreling and stayed away
from all temptations mainly
because my recovery was
put first and far most important
to me.
If i couldnt stay sober then
I surely wouldnt be good
for anyone else, esp. my
little family.
A buddy system would be
something I would consider
strongly. Someone who
wouldnt be drinking and be
there for comfort and support.
Id also have an escape plan
in tack, so i could leave pronto
because I know id be uncomfor-
table and uneasy around those
drinking.
If im sober then talking to
someone under the enfluence
of drugs or alcohol would
we weird....they are not acting
or talking normal like I....so
why put myself in that position.
It would be an uneven conversation
if that makes sense.
Arkward is another good word.
You could bring ur computer,
hook up to SR and we will guide
you every step of the way keep
you calm and recovery strong.
Help you with suggestions to
get out of an uncomfortable
situation.
doesnt know you would
ask why in the world would
someone get sober before
2 huge trips that are secured
where alcohol will be flowing
freely?
This is someone who is not
familiar with your story.
There are many reasons
people stop drinking mainly
cause so many things have
happened to them like hitting
a bottom or they have had
enough of it.
In early recovery I was still
squirreling and stayed away
from all temptations mainly
because my recovery was
put first and far most important
to me.
If i couldnt stay sober then
I surely wouldnt be good
for anyone else, esp. my
little family.
A buddy system would be
something I would consider
strongly. Someone who
wouldnt be drinking and be
there for comfort and support.
Id also have an escape plan
in tack, so i could leave pronto
because I know id be uncomfor-
table and uneasy around those
drinking.
If im sober then talking to
someone under the enfluence
of drugs or alcohol would
we weird....they are not acting
or talking normal like I....so
why put myself in that position.
It would be an uneven conversation
if that makes sense.
Arkward is another good word.
You could bring ur computer,
hook up to SR and we will guide
you every step of the way keep
you calm and recovery strong.
Help you with suggestions to
get out of an uncomfortable
situation.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 19
I like the idea of using this site for strength while away on my trips - I had not thought of that (the internet is accessible worldwide. duh!). Thanks for the other good suggestions and feedback as well.
When everyone but you are ordering drinks at dinner or any other time when in a group setting, what do alcoholic's order to make them feel like they are somewhat still "fitting in"? I'm still really new to being sober and am trying to figure out how to handle this. If I don't feel awkward in the situation, my chances of surviving the temptation is much greater.
When everyone but you are ordering drinks at dinner or any other time when in a group setting, what do alcoholic's order to make them feel like they are somewhat still "fitting in"? I'm still really new to being sober and am trying to figure out how to handle this. If I don't feel awkward in the situation, my chances of surviving the temptation is much greater.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,508
There are so many things to do on a Cruise Ship. Maybe you could drink spakling water on the balcony before dinner. Or you might want to change things around and hit the fitness centre before dinner. I think it just involves having a plan.
And, personally, I wouldn't take a wine-tasting type of a trip to Italy in early recovery, no matter that the cost would be lost. If it's not a wine-tasting trip, but a sight-seeing trip, then look around for things to do and places to go where alcohol is not the focus.
And, personally, I wouldn't take a wine-tasting type of a trip to Italy in early recovery, no matter that the cost would be lost. If it's not a wine-tasting trip, but a sight-seeing trip, then look around for things to do and places to go where alcohol is not the focus.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 19
We have been to Italy several times and this time we are going back to relax in the hills of Tuscany and do some more sightseeing. Previously, I had planned on having a lot of Italian wine while on this trip (like previously), but, that has now changed. Because of our history over there and the fun we had at our romantic Italian dinners (with lots of wine), I'm worried about the temptation and how to handle it. I will admit thought that the idea of feeling good each morning for sightseeing and not being drunk and tired at night resulting in a long, full day is intriguing to me and remembering that will help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
People can have all sorts
of feelings that would
trigger the urge to drink.
Wonderful feelings. Horrible
feeling. Pizzed off feelings.
Resentment feelings.
Reasons to toast, hold up
ur glass...cheers....a celebration.
It could be a just because
reason to drink.
What's in those pretty crystal
glasses? Bright red, sparkling
white, pink....vivid blues and
no telling what else is new out
there.
POISON.
We know what alcohol and
drugs do to us and how they
make us feel.
Giggly, sexy, aggressive,
quiet, mean, angry, loveable..
Our minds and bodies are
taken over and controlled
by a venimous substance.
Once we get passed all the
good feeling stages when
drinking, it begins to wear
off and resentments, fears,
anger, shame and guilt take
over.
Then what the he** ....drink
or use to numb the emotional
pain inside.
A roller coaster of ups and
downs. Continuous.
I feel great when I can
chose not to drink and
do other things with my
time that is worthwhile,
productive and heathier
for my mind and body.
While others are getting
wasted im having fun
being sober and making
awesome memories.
You could keep a scrap
book while on ur trip.
Or a journal. Your first
sober trip of many to
come.
of feelings that would
trigger the urge to drink.
Wonderful feelings. Horrible
feeling. Pizzed off feelings.
Resentment feelings.
Reasons to toast, hold up
ur glass...cheers....a celebration.
It could be a just because
reason to drink.
What's in those pretty crystal
glasses? Bright red, sparkling
white, pink....vivid blues and
no telling what else is new out
there.
POISON.
We know what alcohol and
drugs do to us and how they
make us feel.
Giggly, sexy, aggressive,
quiet, mean, angry, loveable..
Our minds and bodies are
taken over and controlled
by a venimous substance.
Once we get passed all the
good feeling stages when
drinking, it begins to wear
off and resentments, fears,
anger, shame and guilt take
over.
Then what the he** ....drink
or use to numb the emotional
pain inside.
A roller coaster of ups and
downs. Continuous.
I feel great when I can
chose not to drink and
do other things with my
time that is worthwhile,
productive and heathier
for my mind and body.
While others are getting
wasted im having fun
being sober and making
awesome memories.
You could keep a scrap
book while on ur trip.
Or a journal. Your first
sober trip of many to
come.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 583
LivingAgain2
In my very early soberity if I took a trip I either found out the locations of AA meeting before or when I arrived. Just like planning my next meal I always added them into my day. I ALWAYS had a place to go. Chapel on a cruise ship, late afternoon meeting before meeting friends or even a late meeting as a reason to leave the group of friends. I put the soberity in the mix. I made a schedule it time for me in it. The whole world I found out didn't stop if I was away or made a detor, I didn't really think that at the time as I thought I was getting in the way,, but aren't we/shouldn't we be a driver sometimes?
In my first year I went to Vegas, 3 rock concerts, 5 different cities, hung out with friends for an hour or so before and after evening meetings. My 3rd year I flew to England by myself and met my mother over there for my grandfathers funeral. I glad the oldest son was able to be there for his mother and an example for all the other grand kids.
We can do these things and I took action to help set things up for success. These things were my part and I let God do his.
AG
In my very early soberity if I took a trip I either found out the locations of AA meeting before or when I arrived. Just like planning my next meal I always added them into my day. I ALWAYS had a place to go. Chapel on a cruise ship, late afternoon meeting before meeting friends or even a late meeting as a reason to leave the group of friends. I put the soberity in the mix. I made a schedule it time for me in it. The whole world I found out didn't stop if I was away or made a detor, I didn't really think that at the time as I thought I was getting in the way,, but aren't we/shouldn't we be a driver sometimes?
In my first year I went to Vegas, 3 rock concerts, 5 different cities, hung out with friends for an hour or so before and after evening meetings. My 3rd year I flew to England by myself and met my mother over there for my grandfathers funeral. I glad the oldest son was able to be there for his mother and an example for all the other grand kids.
We can do these things and I took action to help set things up for success. These things were my part and I let God do his.
AG
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
Well you definitely came to the right place
I am sober and living in Europe so I know first hand how drinking situations present themselves but sobriety will not be compromised if we go into it prepared.
I attended a wine tasting (yes I used to enjoy my wine) here in Germany and I was a bit tempted since when will have the chance to go to Riesling Vineyard and sample true German wine like it. I didn't have a sip as I knew....where that would lead and I spent 10 years living my life as an alcoholic saying....oh just this one won't hurt. I enjoyed through others their experience and it actually was much more then drinking....I seized the opportunity to yap to those around me and learn more about their travels, etc. All of this while having a nice glass or two of apple cider.
I have attended many German festivals where gluwein is the choice beverage and I opt for the real chocolate hot cocoa.
I live everyday here with my landlords drinking......and OH MY....I actually would like to experience Oktoberfest.....all of which I will do and have done sober.
If it becomes too much for you then excuse yourself....take a short walk. You can learn again to live everything in life without the bottle. I actually absorb so much more now on trips and just day to day things....because I am sober.
Reach out to SR here......that is essential for me, check out AA meetings and enjoy your travels.
All the best and if I can get sober and embrace recovery while living in this alcoholic's candy shop then anyone can do it.
Huggs.
I am sober and living in Europe so I know first hand how drinking situations present themselves but sobriety will not be compromised if we go into it prepared.
I attended a wine tasting (yes I used to enjoy my wine) here in Germany and I was a bit tempted since when will have the chance to go to Riesling Vineyard and sample true German wine like it. I didn't have a sip as I knew....where that would lead and I spent 10 years living my life as an alcoholic saying....oh just this one won't hurt. I enjoyed through others their experience and it actually was much more then drinking....I seized the opportunity to yap to those around me and learn more about their travels, etc. All of this while having a nice glass or two of apple cider.
I have attended many German festivals where gluwein is the choice beverage and I opt for the real chocolate hot cocoa.
I live everyday here with my landlords drinking......and OH MY....I actually would like to experience Oktoberfest.....all of which I will do and have done sober.
If it becomes too much for you then excuse yourself....take a short walk. You can learn again to live everything in life without the bottle. I actually absorb so much more now on trips and just day to day things....because I am sober.
Reach out to SR here......that is essential for me, check out AA meetings and enjoy your travels.
All the best and if I can get sober and embrace recovery while living in this alcoholic's candy shop then anyone can do it.
Huggs.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Hi LivingAgain2
lots of great advice here
Don't worry about fitting in - do whats right for you...and remember - getting blind drunk losing control and making a spectacle of ourselves isn't really fitting in either
D
lots of great advice here
Don't worry about fitting in - do whats right for you...and remember - getting blind drunk losing control and making a spectacle of ourselves isn't really fitting in either
D
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
It's a change of heart, really. I never thought I could live/vacation/play/sleep/celebrate anything/mow the lawn... you name it without drinking. But I can and do. So can you.
Stick so close to SR. That is what I did. Tell people what you are thinking.
You can do this. And be stronger and happier for it.
Stick so close to SR. That is what I did. Tell people what you are thinking.
You can do this. And be stronger and happier for it.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Great post and responses.
Remember when you're on vacation to take it a day at a time, too. Stay in the present and enjoy the feeling of being sober and taking in the sights without a hangover. Keep yourself busy, too - take a camera and capture every moment, or a little journal to write in, or a book on the area (or the language) to distract you. Tapping into SR is a great, great idea.
You may find it's not even as hard as you might imagine...... wouldn't that be wonderful!?!
Remember when you're on vacation to take it a day at a time, too. Stay in the present and enjoy the feeling of being sober and taking in the sights without a hangover. Keep yourself busy, too - take a camera and capture every moment, or a little journal to write in, or a book on the area (or the language) to distract you. Tapping into SR is a great, great idea.You may find it's not even as hard as you might imagine...... wouldn't that be wonderful!?!
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
I've been meaning to get to this thread for a while, sorry for chiming in late! My husband and I just got back from a week long trip to Italy, Tuscany/Chianti region. It was for a wedding, so there were 25 of our closest friends/family along for the ride. If you need/want any ideas of other stuff to do that doesn't involve wine, PM me.. we did a TON of other stuff, I never missed it!
Here's a few of the things we did while there; Tuscany (most of it) is within about 20/30 min to Florence. There is a little town outside of Florence, in Tuscany called Grassina, and there is a public bus that goes in and out of the center of Florence every 30 minutes (driving there was a nightmare!). We booked several really cool tours in and out of Florence like..
1/2 day trip to Pisa
Full day trip to Cinque Terre (HIGHLY recommend it!)
Dinner/concert package in Florence
Florence food market walking tour
Shopping!
Enjoying 'real' coffee/cappuccinos on little cafe patios.. oh how I miss those!
There are also horseback rides through the Tuscan countryside.. which honestly has as many olive trees as grape vines it seems. And there are GREAT hidden-away restaurants for the foodie in you, we found a few that were just amazing.
Here's a few of the things we did while there; Tuscany (most of it) is within about 20/30 min to Florence. There is a little town outside of Florence, in Tuscany called Grassina, and there is a public bus that goes in and out of the center of Florence every 30 minutes (driving there was a nightmare!). We booked several really cool tours in and out of Florence like..
1/2 day trip to Pisa
Full day trip to Cinque Terre (HIGHLY recommend it!)
Dinner/concert package in Florence
Florence food market walking tour
Shopping!
Enjoying 'real' coffee/cappuccinos on little cafe patios.. oh how I miss those!
There are also horseback rides through the Tuscan countryside.. which honestly has as many olive trees as grape vines it seems. And there are GREAT hidden-away restaurants for the foodie in you, we found a few that were just amazing.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Between Serenity and Despair
Posts: 522
Originally Posted by LivingAgain2 
When everyone but you are ordering drinks at dinner or any other time when in a group setting, what do alcoholic's order to make them feel like they are somewhat still "fitting in"? I'm still really new to being sober and am trying to figure out how to handle this. If I don't feel awkward in the situation, my chances of surviving the temptation is much greater.
These days, I order water or coffee in restaurants and don't care if I'm fitting in. One of the pluses of not drinking for me is seeing the dramatic cut in the cost of dining out, so it's a positive thing (for me.)
The early days of sobriety are tough, though. Do what you can to make this work for you. For the record, I still cringe when people decide they need to know why I'm not drinking. Not knowing what else to do, I avoid situations where it might come up as often as possible. If ordering an Arnold Palmer (tea and lemonade) or a club soda makes it work for you, do that. :ghug3
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