Where's all that time I spent drinking
Canine Welfare Advocate
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Where's all that time I spent drinking
New member here, two weeks sober following my first relapse...this after having made the decision to quit on Aug. 20th. One of the reasons (just one of many) that helped me quit drinking was the realization of how much time and energy I devoted to being a drunk. One of my hopes for sobriety was to recapture all that time, to put it to better use. Finally, I thought, projects that I start would get finished, new outlets for my creativity would be explored. That has turned out NOT to be the case. Minus the drinking, my time is spent pretty much doing the same things.
Admittedly, much of my time has been devoted to maintaining my sobriety. That I understand. But outside that, I don’t seem to be making constructive use of my time.
Is that just part of early recovery? If I don’t change how I spend my time, and I in danger of falling back on alcohol?
Admittedly, much of my time has been devoted to maintaining my sobriety. That I understand. But outside that, I don’t seem to be making constructive use of my time.
Is that just part of early recovery? If I don’t change how I spend my time, and I in danger of falling back on alcohol?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome!
I do think that early recovery is a time of change. But, I think you need to be kind to yourself at this point. Maybe you could make a list of things you would like to accomplish each day, and then check things off when you're done.
For me, I honestly changed so much, from the inside out. I took a really hard look at myself, at why I had become addicted to alcohol, and what I needed to do to heal.
I did get back to things that I loved - reading, listening to music, walking.
I do think that early recovery is a time of change. But, I think you need to be kind to yourself at this point. Maybe you could make a list of things you would like to accomplish each day, and then check things off when you're done.
For me, I honestly changed so much, from the inside out. I took a really hard look at myself, at why I had become addicted to alcohol, and what I needed to do to heal.
I did get back to things that I loved - reading, listening to music, walking.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community....
Congratulations on your sober weeks.
Why not choose just one project today that needs attention.
Be gentle with yourself....healing takes time....
Yes....I did make many lifestyle changes to improve my future.
I started with daily connecting to a local AA group.
It has been working quite well for me....
Good to see you here with us..many of us are
winning over alcohol.
Congratulations on your sober weeks.
Why not choose just one project today that needs attention.
Be gentle with yourself....healing takes time....
Yes....I did make many lifestyle changes to improve my future.
I started with daily connecting to a local AA group.
It has been working quite well for me....
Good to see you here with us..many of us are
winning over alcohol.
April 18, 2010
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,117
Hi DGC,
I'm glad to meet you, and I'm glad you're here. I agree with the posts above -- give yourself some time! My first few weeks, I gave myself carte blanche to just chill and try to learn how to relax without booze. (Still learning that one!) I also spent a ton of time here, which I really recommend, reading and participating in threads too.
When you do a lot of things while drinking that you'd also do sober, like watching TV or whatever, it can be hard to see the difference at first, but keep in mind the quality of your time matters too. Now, 5 months sober, I really feel my time is better used, and I'm never rushing to get things done like I was when I was drinking, or playing catch up. I find it hard to imagine how I ever had enough time to drink/be hungover in the first place. And I've definitely taken back some activities that I'd lost while I was drinking, and found things get done more quickly . . . you will find this too, just give yourself time.
Again, welcome!
I'm glad to meet you, and I'm glad you're here. I agree with the posts above -- give yourself some time! My first few weeks, I gave myself carte blanche to just chill and try to learn how to relax without booze. (Still learning that one!) I also spent a ton of time here, which I really recommend, reading and participating in threads too.
When you do a lot of things while drinking that you'd also do sober, like watching TV or whatever, it can be hard to see the difference at first, but keep in mind the quality of your time matters too. Now, 5 months sober, I really feel my time is better used, and I'm never rushing to get things done like I was when I was drinking, or playing catch up. I find it hard to imagine how I ever had enough time to drink/be hungover in the first place. And I've definitely taken back some activities that I'd lost while I was drinking, and found things get done more quickly . . . you will find this too, just give yourself time.
Again, welcome!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,237
Hi DGC and welcome,
It's not unusual to feel this way, I had to "retrain" myself in the first few months sober. I did so many things that involved drinking..even typing on the computer was so weird at first! As you venture on, you will find things to occupy yourself with....do whatever feels good to you...whatever your thing is....follow your bliss.....the drinking doesn't add to your life, it actually takes so much....and I know you will find this to be true!!!
Wishing you well!!!
It's not unusual to feel this way, I had to "retrain" myself in the first few months sober. I did so many things that involved drinking..even typing on the computer was so weird at first! As you venture on, you will find things to occupy yourself with....do whatever feels good to you...whatever your thing is....follow your bliss.....the drinking doesn't add to your life, it actually takes so much....and I know you will find this to be true!!!
Wishing you well!!!
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
I thought I would have more time too, I think it comes with time. You get an extra hour here or there not hungover. I Thought the same thing, it turns out that when I was drunk I felt pretty good so I stayed up later and churned out projects because I felt good. Then I got off of it and I was like, god the last thing I want to do is this or that because I feel aweful. It just comes with time and dealing with your problems outside of Alcohol. Like getting more sleep.
EntertheSticks
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 139
I misjudged my appointment time so i had time for one last post (they may have to start a group for forum addiction for me lol) but....
Try to find something you used to do before you were a drunk. If you played sports join a recreational league at the local y or something. If you are in to outdoors plan a weekend camping trip. Or if all else fails-
Pick up a guitar. If you have never played it will give you endless time to hone your skills. It takes at least 6 months to start sounding well lets just say BAD, but you make progress step by step. It pretty much parallels dealing with addiction every day. For each little step you take on a guitar, you can correlate it with your steps towards sobriety. You get a little better each and every day, sometimes you have to fight through a wall or a plateau, and you will never be perfect. You get what you put in to it.
Guitar can also give you the ability to take some of those inner feelings that may have lead you to drink and express yourself. I know it sounds cliche' but it is so very true. Music in general can save peoples lives. Look how many musicians have been in the same place that we are today only to turn around and turn their lives in a positive direction.
Try to find something you used to do before you were a drunk. If you played sports join a recreational league at the local y or something. If you are in to outdoors plan a weekend camping trip. Or if all else fails-
Pick up a guitar. If you have never played it will give you endless time to hone your skills. It takes at least 6 months to start sounding well lets just say BAD, but you make progress step by step. It pretty much parallels dealing with addiction every day. For each little step you take on a guitar, you can correlate it with your steps towards sobriety. You get a little better each and every day, sometimes you have to fight through a wall or a plateau, and you will never be perfect. You get what you put in to it.
Guitar can also give you the ability to take some of those inner feelings that may have lead you to drink and express yourself. I know it sounds cliche' but it is so very true. Music in general can save peoples lives. Look how many musicians have been in the same place that we are today only to turn around and turn their lives in a positive direction.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Some Afterthoughts…
First, thanks to everyone who read my post and took the time to reply. Helps to be reminded what’s important. For me to say I’m not using my time constructively is foolish. Every minute I’m sober is a minute well used.
I’m reminded of an old comedy skit:
A person is dangling off a ledge by his fingertips. Someone asks him, “What are you doing?”
“Just hanging around,” he replies.
So if someone asks me what am I doing these days, I’ll tell them, Hanging on--to my sobriety!
You are so right, AmericanGirl. I'm doing mundane things...but doing them sober, and it makes a great difference.
Thanks again, everyone.
I’m reminded of an old comedy skit:
A person is dangling off a ledge by his fingertips. Someone asks him, “What are you doing?”
“Just hanging around,” he replies.
So if someone asks me what am I doing these days, I’ll tell them, Hanging on--to my sobriety!
Originally Posted by AmericanGirl 
When you do a lot of things while drinking that you'd also do sober, like watching TV or whatever, it can be hard to see the difference at first, but keep in mind the quality of your time matters too.
Thanks again, everyone.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by doggonecarl
Finally, I thought, projects that I start would get finished, new outlets for my creativity would be explored. That has turned out NOT to be the case. Minus the drinking, my time is spent pretty much doing the same things.
Admittedly, much of my time has been devoted to maintaining my sobriety. That I understand. But outside that, I don’t seem to be making constructive use of my time.
Is that just part of early recovery? If I don’t change how I spend my time, and I in danger of falling back on alcohol?
Admittedly, much of my time has been devoted to maintaining my sobriety. That I understand. But outside that, I don’t seem to be making constructive use of my time.
Is that just part of early recovery? If I don’t change how I spend my time, and I in danger of falling back on alcohol?
One thing I've learned in sobriety is that just because I think should should be a certain way, ....it won't necessarily be that way. I'm sure that's not news to you but it's good to keep in mind.
I discovered that once I stopped drinking, there was a WHOOOLE lotta other stuff goin on in my head that needed to change, go away, increase or decrease. It was kinda depressing to realize that "my drinking problem" was just a rather small fraction of a much greater problem - the tip of the iceberg, if you know what I mean.
Keep searching and keep looking......and maybe take a look at some things like "acceptance and patience" in your life. Just give them some thought, yanno?
-- love the dog avatar btw.
Practice Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: KC missouri
Posts: 885
Great post. It is just the beginning fixing the drinking. I felt like an alien, i couldn't do anything. If you are worried about time, just treat it as, you should be dead, so now you are like in the bonus round of life. Anything that you get now is gravy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Great looking dog:-) I pretty much didn't expect much from myself the first couple weeks...as I felt better I slowly started doing more...I'm 2.5 months in and I am just starting to see tangible results...as has been said I've been doing a lot of work on the inside...trying to fix the things I hid from myself by drinking. Well tried to hide at least...I knew they were there no matter how much I drank..it got to the point where fixing me is a lot less work than drinking!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Carl! You're so right that each day sober is a success. I've been getting used to doing things sober again. It really does take time. And what I've found is that just trying to make little changes here and there have added up over a period of time. We're so used to instant gratification, ya know?
Learning to live without alcohol comes a day at a time, too.
Learning to live without alcohol comes a day at a time, too.
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