My Bf of 10yrs I'm ready to leave him
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 1
My Bf of 10yrs I'm ready to leave him
I'm sorry this is so long but I just don't know where else to turn right now. My boyfriend who I have been living with is a coke addict. I should have seen the signs but he's been denying it all these years saying he just did it once and he's not doing it but i know it's a lie. He stole from me over the years but now it is out of control. I had my checking account with $5000 inside and he found my card and somehow was able to get a pin number and withdrew $2500 within two weeks; the bank got suspicious and blocked it or else he would have drained it. This happened a week ago and he walks around like it's my fault because I don't pay him attention after he blew my money.
American Express sent me a replacement credit card and he called up and activate it and gets an emergency pin and took cash off the card. And this happened a week after he took my $2500. When I confronted him about all these things he's acting like nothing happens. I just think he's using me because he's done so much to hurt me and I just let it be. I cant take this anymore and I just cant see myself living with him anymore. He keeps saying he stopped using it but it seems he only stops when he doesn't have any money.
I've talked to friends and they all say to leave which I'm seriously considering. I basically bought everything in this house and I'm afraid if I try to leave while he's here he will get angry and start to break things. That's another thing; he gets really angry at me and screams telling me to leave when I confront him. Throwing things around the house and even at me.
I plan on leaving at the end of the month when he goes away for a couple of days and taking my stuff.
I just feel it has reached the point of no return for us and if I stay any longer i'm just enabling his habit and worst putting my life on hold. I'm 32yrs and I just feel like I've wasted 10years. I should also mention he tried outpatient rehab but while he was going there soon as he came home he would smoke weed.
I know I've wrote a lot but does anyone think what I'm doing is wrong. I mean, I cant trust him. I cant even hide money under the carpet in my own home because he will find it and spend it on coke. And he stole basically all the money I've had saved and ran up my credit cards.
American Express sent me a replacement credit card and he called up and activate it and gets an emergency pin and took cash off the card. And this happened a week after he took my $2500. When I confronted him about all these things he's acting like nothing happens. I just think he's using me because he's done so much to hurt me and I just let it be. I cant take this anymore and I just cant see myself living with him anymore. He keeps saying he stopped using it but it seems he only stops when he doesn't have any money.
I've talked to friends and they all say to leave which I'm seriously considering. I basically bought everything in this house and I'm afraid if I try to leave while he's here he will get angry and start to break things. That's another thing; he gets really angry at me and screams telling me to leave when I confront him. Throwing things around the house and even at me.
I plan on leaving at the end of the month when he goes away for a couple of days and taking my stuff.
I just feel it has reached the point of no return for us and if I stay any longer i'm just enabling his habit and worst putting my life on hold. I'm 32yrs and I just feel like I've wasted 10years. I should also mention he tried outpatient rehab but while he was going there soon as he came home he would smoke weed.
I know I've wrote a lot but does anyone think what I'm doing is wrong. I mean, I cant trust him. I cant even hide money under the carpet in my own home because he will find it and spend it on coke. And he stole basically all the money I've had saved and ran up my credit cards.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 51
Good for you! I hope you actually do leave him! You deserve way better than that! Imagine what a stress free life you will have! 
It hasn't gotten better over 10 years so it probably wont ever get better. And even if it will, do you want to wait 20 years for that to happen and end up in debt because of him? lol
I just left my alcoholic addict boyfriend as well .... and I feel great! No more worries! All I have to worry about is myself and my kids. Its awesome!
It hasn't gotten better over 10 years so it probably wont ever get better. And even if it will, do you want to wait 20 years for that to happen and end up in debt because of him? lolI just left my alcoholic addict boyfriend as well .... and I feel great!
No more worries! All I have to worry about is myself and my kids. Its awesome!
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Welcome, been there done that. Not for 10 years but too long.
In my case, when he stole my credit card, and used it for phone sex, I went to the sheriff and pressed charges. I had enough.
If you do not leave and get your life together, he will drain you financially, he will drain you emotionally. He feels no remorse, if he is like my exabf he has no concious, using or not using. He has a sense of entitlement.
Take care of you, keep postin, it will help.
In my case, when he stole my credit card, and used it for phone sex, I went to the sheriff and pressed charges. I had enough.
If you do not leave and get your life together, he will drain you financially, he will drain you emotionally. He feels no remorse, if he is like my exabf he has no concious, using or not using. He has a sense of entitlement.
Take care of you, keep postin, it will help.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Hi Welcome. Sorry you are in this situation. I hope you pack up your stuff and get out of there.
Coke is stealing his life. And it's stealing yours.
But you have a choice. You already feel like you have wasted 10 years of your life. How are you going to feel after 20?
You are going to have to get tough. The police are a resource for you. NO ADDICT and NO THIEF likes to be threatened with the police. You have to be willing to follow through - to do whatever it takes to save your sanity. The good news is that in the long run, you'll be doing him a favor by calling the police. And it would be exactly what he deserves. He needs to be held accountable for his behavior or he'll never learn. And next time it will be worse. Be carefull that your pity for him doesn't destroy you.
As long as you allow him to push your boundaries, he will continue to push your boundaries.
Good luck!
Coke is stealing his life. And it's stealing yours.
But you have a choice. You already feel like you have wasted 10 years of your life. How are you going to feel after 20?
You are going to have to get tough. The police are a resource for you. NO ADDICT and NO THIEF likes to be threatened with the police. You have to be willing to follow through - to do whatever it takes to save your sanity. The good news is that in the long run, you'll be doing him a favor by calling the police. And it would be exactly what he deserves. He needs to be held accountable for his behavior or he'll never learn. And next time it will be worse. Be carefull that your pity for him doesn't destroy you.
As long as you allow him to push your boundaries, he will continue to push your boundaries.
Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Nevada
Posts: 44
Changing your pin will not work, tried it. Changing your card will not work especially if he knows your personal information.
Hiding money in the "sneakiest" spots are the most obvious spots for a drug addict. Now im not one to talk because Im in your same situation, but it doesnt stop and he will most likely never tell you the truth about the money even though he knows you know. He doesnt care because by not calling the police and reporting it and by not leaving, he is being given the okay.
Now this is all advice that I heard that I am passing on to you. I need to take some of my own advice....and do what you say you want to do.
LEAVE
Good luck to you and be strong
Hiding money in the "sneakiest" spots are the most obvious spots for a drug addict. Now im not one to talk because Im in your same situation, but it doesnt stop and he will most likely never tell you the truth about the money even though he knows you know. He doesnt care because by not calling the police and reporting it and by not leaving, he is being given the okay.
Now this is all advice that I heard that I am passing on to you. I need to take some of my own advice....and do what you say you want to do.
LEAVE
Good luck to you and be strong
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
