gr8t2bme

I just wanted to know if there is anyone else out there who has a family that drinks. Every get together there is always alcohol around. My one and only sister who I miss alot and haven't seen because she drinks and partys heavy wants me to come and visit. She just had a party of bikers at her house with heavy drinking. I miss my family but I will be so tempted to drink If I visit.
I don't know what to do.

Anna

Hi,

Can you meet your sister outside of her home, say at a coffee shop, or for a walk in the park, or going shopping? You don't need to go to her house necessarily.

I hope you can focus on your recovery and that your family will support you. But, if they don't, you can still do this.

julez

I agree with Anna. There are tons of other things you can do with your sister outside of her home. Does she know you have stopped drinking? If she does, then she should understand why you have to form some new habits and traditions to do together.

SSIL75

I just got back from a visit to my sister and told her that after I have this baby I'm not going back to drinking. That the 1/10 times I could pull off 'moderation' took a herculean effort that simply wasn't worth it.

Her response: "you know you won't be welcome back here then!". And she laughed. Because she was uncomfortable and making a joke. But man. Some joke.

It is what it is, right? Depressing but real.

julez

Wow SSIL75, have you ever heard the saying "theres an ounce of truth behind every joke" ?
I hope for your relationships sake that you sister was truly joking, and even then, the joke wasn't in very good taste.
I wasn't aware you are pregnant. That makes me hope all the more that you are able to stick to your guns about sobriety.
Good luck, and keep posting..

SSIL75

Thank you. I have been struggling for a while so being pregnant certainly makes it easier. It's how to best use these 9 months to strengthen me for after birth that is my challenge. Which is why I'm here like 5 hours a day lol.

littlefish

I would have to echo Anna's comments. If her house is a danger zone, shift the venue to your place. Can you invite her to come and visit you? Having a baby and needing a helping hand right after the birth is a great way to keep your contact with your sister - in your environment, on your terms.
If she wants to go out drinking, that's something else. You don't have to go with her...

TexasNative

I have friends that may as well charge at the door to get in they party so much, and I just can't be around it...and they razz me about it to an extent, but they understand. The only family member I have that drinks is my mother, but she isn't an alcoholic...shes one of those freaky drinkers, you know...the ones that can drink A beer and stop. So weird.

Dee74

Hi gr8t2bme

I think shifting the venue is a great idea...I avoided all big family get togethers for a long time in my early recovery because of the endless drinking - but I kept in touch by meeting various members of my family in other non drinking places - one on one.

D

Cottonwoodchris

Mom drinks wine at dinner once in a while. Step Dad drinks a 12 of some cheap Lite beer everyday. He's in bed at 7pm and up at 5am brewing coffee. Doesn't start with the beer until around 10am.

But family is all in Arizona, so I don't see them that often. Last time was January, and I wasn't sober. Only (I know "only" ) had wine with dinner.

Supercrew

My family are all drinkers, but I've gotten to the point now that I can even handle my brother. I watched football with him Sunday while he polished off a 12 pack, and I drank my diet cokes. He didn't make mention of me not drinking. Funny thing was my son was there and we had cookies on a plate, and my son had 2 or 3. My brother had his wife get him another beer as my son took another cookie, and I said "you gonna have another one already?" My brother turn to me and said, "what?" And I said i was talking to my son about the cookies. Very akward moment to say the least. But kind of funny.

I can wait for the next big family gathering so maybe I can get this in the open more with my Mom and Dad. I'm sure it will happen soon.

gr8t2bme

My family lives 2 hours away so that helps a little bit. But when we went camping in June my sister and her husband were drinking and I told them I wasn't drinking, My sister made a comment " OH, Like your so innocent". very sarcastic.
So it does make it difficult to be around them.

justjo

Our family had alcohol around all the time and there are many drinkers still. I never had to drink simply because everyone else was though. I would be tempted though if it was a night time thing, simply because thats what everyone did.
I miss my sister too, maybe you can still see her during the day time or go shopping, thats always good fun.
JJ

LaFemme

My family is 5 hours away so to see them I usually make a. Weekend of it. This weekend will be my second sober. On the way to my first visit...I was 11 days in...I spent the drive down remembering in excruciating detail how awful my worst drinking eaxperiences made me feel. By the time I was down there the smell of wine was repugnant to me and I didn't drink at all (my family are all heavy drinkers/addicts) despite being surrounded by it.

loveon2legs

My brother and sister in law are drinkers....For the first few months of my sobriety I had to stay away from them...I still talked to my brother on the phone..but just wasn't strong enough to be around them drinking... I'm going on 8 months now..and have been over there and it doesn't bother me in the least....the only thing is if they start getting drunk and acting silly it's time for me to go....It just gets on my nerves!!!