Mel8899

The detox place was a real eye opener and a very surreal experience. They are medicating her so she is tired and as is my mother's way, she is avoiding everyone and just keeping to herself. To the staff that makes her sweet and non problematic. She saves all her bitching and eye rolling for my sister and I. I am not sure my mother will ever embrace an ounce of enjoyment again, she tries so hard to find the negative in everything. Actually that is wrong, it has become second nature to her. She has never been a happy person. She puts on a good act sometimes, but deep down she is just determined to be miserable about one thing or another.
She seems so out of place with the rest of the residents, but she makes no effort to even have a conversation with anyone. My sister and I left wondering if we did the right thing sending her there.

I am Ok though, sober, just tired. Gonna play some computer games and eat ice cream and try to sort out some more of these feelings tomorrow. Just checking in. Day 2-check!

artsoul

One day at a time, Mel - you've got a lot going on (like: wow). Your mom is at least getting some medical attention and there's not much you can do to change her attitude. You're at least giving her a chance to turn her life around, so please feel good about that. What are the doctors saying to her/you? They must think she needs sedation, so I would imagine they also agree that she has a real problem?

Just remember to take of yourself. Huge hugs and prayers for you and mom.:ghug3

Lenina

Mel,

Is your Mom in detox or a rehab? The reason I ask is that most detox that I know of are very short term. It's mostly about getting the patients who are physically dependent on alcohol or drugs past the physical dependency stage. Rehab is for longer term, usually 28 days or more. It's a more intensive treatment, generally to work on the psychological part and also education.

I don't know that's there anything more you can do for your Mom. Sobriety is an inside job and she has to motivated. That's the hard part.

You might want to speak with the professionals at the detox and see if they can help her become more willing. Right now, she's probably feeling shame and anger. And she still medicated so it's possible she's not thinking clearly.

Please know I'm keeping you and Mom in my thoughts. And please do keep us updated. What are you doing for you?

Love,

Lenina

Mel8899

Lenina, my mother broke her back in high school back in the 50's when pain meds were the solution. Since then she has been on one thing or another. She got married to a very high functioning alcoholic. We actually had a pretty normal childhood in those days, everything appeared normal. Mom stayed home to "raise" the kids and dad took care of money.
Flash forward-after 22 years, dad left for wife 2 leaving my mother with 4 teeangers and no idea how to take care of herself.
She then relied on us for a lot back then, but did get a job. She also believed there was a pill for everything and found a Dr. who never asked questions. She says she can't sleep, he gives her Ambien and Xanax.
2 months ago she says the Xanax is not working and he gave her Klonopin. Finally at 67 with all the RX meds she takes (including those for her diabetes, BP and cholesterol) combined with stomach problems and a lousy diet and she was very noticably altered. Falling down, dizzy, making no sense. Took her to the ER, they ruled out stroke and when told the truth about all her meds (by me) they got really judgemental and told us she needed to be detoxed medically. We had trouble finding the right place because she was taking these meds as directed.
This is a real issue coming more to light as people like my mother who never did anything but legally fill prescriptions and follow a Dr.s order become addicts. My mother is not innocent, but she never went out on the "street" for these drugs either. The medical field needs to be more aware of how to help elderly patients with this problem.

Kmber2010

Mel I am glad you saw your mother and am wishing you all well.

It actually is quite common for doctors to put patients on various meds without fully checking or realizing how they interact with each other and of course the outcome of long term use.

I notice that pills like xanax and pain meds are readily available and given out by doctors like candy.

My ex had pain from a broken wrist and whenever the pain was unbearable he would go to his doctor or the ER and get dosed up on pain meds. It seems no one wanted find more positive ways of pain management other then pills.

My aunt suffered as well and was prescribed a multitude of pills for weight loss, insomnia and anxiety. Combined she was a mess yet she was taking everything as prescribed.

Definitely I feel the medical community needs to be accountable for their actions and I huge supporter of people being their OWN advocate. You have to push when things don't seem right.

Huggs and here is to another sober day.

julez

Hey Mel, just wanted to send some well wishes to you and your mom.