now finally hes a cheat too
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
now finally hes a cheat too
well hes finally did it hes cheated on me too now and dumped me after hes cheated honestly never saw that one coming to say im devastated is understatement right now will just have to concentrate on me have removed him from all my messaging things so now i just have to concentrate on me cos i know he will be back from what ive seen most of em come slopping back eventually so will need to be strong and right now im not anyhow going now to cry for a bit
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
I'm so sorry, I feel your pain. I'm going through this right now also.
From everything I hear, pretty much most addicts have the same MO, lie and cheat
Focus on you. When I would read here and other sites about how MOST (if not all) addict cheat, I would be terrified of it and think "No, my guy may be an addict, but he's in recovery and respects himself too much to act like a low life" But my worst fears came true.
It's really painful.........I am so sorry
From everything I hear, pretty much most addicts have the same MO, lie and cheat
Focus on you. When I would read here and other sites about how MOST (if not all) addict cheat, I would be terrified of it and think "No, my guy may be an addict, but he's in recovery and respects himself too much to act like a low life" But my worst fears came true.
It's really painful.........I am so sorry
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
I"m SO glad you've been reading here. You know what to expect and at least he won't sucker punch you with the coming back around part.
Big hugs Girl. We know your pain, and we can also tell you that you'll get through it, stronger than you were before.
Big hugs Girl. We know your pain, and we can also tell you that you'll get through it, stronger than you were before.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: England
Posts: 741
Oh Kia...hun am so sorry. Remember IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT...It's not you. It's him. He's messed up and you can't fix him.
You're worth so much more. It might not seem that way now but he's kinda done you a favour. You could have spent the next 5 years waiting for him to change and the whole time he could have been cheating on you, lying to you, making you think you were crazy. He's brought an end to it for the both of you...his actions have set you free.
Take your time, mourn the loss of the "dream" but really try and keep your focus and see him for what he really is.
Keep posting. *hugs*
You're worth so much more. It might not seem that way now but he's kinda done you a favour. You could have spent the next 5 years waiting for him to change and the whole time he could have been cheating on you, lying to you, making you think you were crazy. He's brought an end to it for the both of you...his actions have set you free.
Take your time, mourn the loss of the "dream" but really try and keep your focus and see him for what he really is.
Keep posting. *hugs*
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
HUgs Dear.
This is a club that I wish you didn't have to join. I too was cheated on. It hurts and leaves a sting for a while, but down the road you will be better off without someone with such low morals and dishonesty. The OW don't win a big prize, they get the booby prize.
HUGS
This is a club that I wish you didn't have to join. I too was cheated on. It hurts and leaves a sting for a while, but down the road you will be better off without someone with such low morals and dishonesty. The OW don't win a big prize, they get the booby prize.
HUGS
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
i had to go out today for a family trip out wasnt something i could get out of and really didnt wanna go but at least it distracted me for a while.
Summer peach i really wanted to believe he wouldnt do this that he would be different but well seems hes not im sure the next few days will be hard so many memories there so many thoughts and so much pain hurts right now keep thinking there is a way to end this pain but something stops me some inner voice just need to keep me here somehow will have to force myself out of bed tomorrow to go to my exercise class cos it will prob help just cant be doing with the questions the good thing is i do have alot of good friends all there for me just right now dont want anyone near me just wanna crawl under that duvet and not come out sorry im ranting arent i
Summer peach i really wanted to believe he wouldnt do this that he would be different but well seems hes not im sure the next few days will be hard so many memories there so many thoughts and so much pain hurts right now keep thinking there is a way to end this pain but something stops me some inner voice just need to keep me here somehow will have to force myself out of bed tomorrow to go to my exercise class cos it will prob help just cant be doing with the questions the good thing is i do have alot of good friends all there for me just right now dont want anyone near me just wanna crawl under that duvet and not come out sorry im ranting arent i
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
thanks summer for listening and yes i feel like that too hes trying to get in touch with me as well which aint helping will prob end up blocking him hoped wouldnt have to do that just another thing to have to do and just have no energy for anything
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 1,149
be gentle with yourself Kia, being cheated on is incredibly painful, try to remember that this says everything about him, and nothing about you or how "good" a girlfriend or person you are. I was rocked to my core by a loved ones infidelities and questioned everything about myself and it left me devastated. With distance I see that his choice to cheat was not about what I could have done differently, or my shortcomings, but all about him.
You are lovely and wonderful, and deserve good things in your life. Those good things will come, and the pain does lessen and go away. You will not feel like this forever.
I think that was important for me to realise at the time. If I'm reading your post correctly, about there being a way to end all this pain, then please reach out if those thoughts become frequent or overwhelming, to friends, family, here, Al-anon, your GP or the samaritans if neccesary.
You are loved. We all need gentle support sometimes to get us through those tough times. ((kia))
You are lovely and wonderful, and deserve good things in your life. Those good things will come, and the pain does lessen and go away. You will not feel like this forever.
I think that was important for me to realise at the time. If I'm reading your post correctly, about there being a way to end all this pain, then please reach out if those thoughts become frequent or overwhelming, to friends, family, here, Al-anon, your GP or the samaritans if neccesary.
You are loved. We all need gentle support sometimes to get us through those tough times. ((kia))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
i had to go out today for a family trip out wasnt something i could get out of and really didnt wanna go but at least it distracted me for a while.
Summer peach i really wanted to believe he wouldnt do this that he would be different but well seems hes not im sure the next few days will be hard so many memories there so many thoughts and so much pain hurts right now keep thinking there is a way to end this pain but something stops me some inner voice just need to keep me here somehow will have to force myself out of bed tomorrow to go to my exercise class cos it will prob help just cant be doing with the questions the good thing is i do have alot of good friends all there for me just right now dont want anyone near me just wanna crawl under that duvet and not come out sorry im ranting arent i
Summer peach i really wanted to believe he wouldnt do this that he would be different but well seems hes not im sure the next few days will be hard so many memories there so many thoughts and so much pain hurts right now keep thinking there is a way to end this pain but something stops me some inner voice just need to keep me here somehow will have to force myself out of bed tomorrow to go to my exercise class cos it will prob help just cant be doing with the questions the good thing is i do have alot of good friends all there for me just right now dont want anyone near me just wanna crawl under that duvet and not come out sorry im ranting arent i
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: McLean VA
Posts: 93
You're strong and will pull through. I Highly encourage the exercise - works wonders!! Think of the alternative, you could be stuck w him - like my sister-in-law - who has a son w my brother, the "in denial" addict - and she won't leave - enable, enable - She KNOWS he cheats (to the extent he cheats probably not), KNOWS he still lies, knows he goes out on all night benders, etc.. etc.. She is now totally bitter, emotionally detached from everyone, and a big drinker herself.
So sorry for your loss! I think you are better off in the long run!!
So sorry for your loss! I think you are better off in the long run!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
