groybin

I heard a few weeks ago that my XABF has been sober for a few weeks. Since then I have fought a strong urge to contact him.

Yesterday I received a bunch of homegrown produce and I immediately thought of him..how he loved to cook, recalling good memories of these times.

So early this morning I emailed him offering to share what I have.

He didn't respond.

A flood of emotions surround me. I feel sad that he has ignored me, that I mean nothing.

I feel embarassed too.

I ask myself why did I make contact, knowing that he may not respond.
A part of me did it because I hoped he would still want me, even as a friend.

But as painful as this is, I don't feel devastated like I would have in the past.
In a weird way, this is helping me see that he has moved on, that we don't have a future together.

I just wanted to share this, because I am working hard on being honest with myself and others who care about me.

barb dwyer

Well - now you have your answer.

dollydo

Ahhh, those little triggers!

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep moving forward, leave him in your dust!

ChrrisT

It was a mistake - not a big deal.

Just return the favor if he EVER contacts you.

Keep moving forward - your doing great!

coyote21

Looks like your HP's still looking after you.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

Learn2Live

Get right back up in the saddle.

Jadmack25

That was just a little "brain blip", not a fullscale breakdown......it's over and done now.

HP made sure it got no further than you sent email, he got email....

Take him off your contacts list, or put a note on his name.....telling YOU not to go there.

Now, dust yourself off and back in the saddle you get.

God bless

HealingWillCome

Ask yourself what you'll do if you DO hear from him. He may still respond. Be prepared. Block his emails?

Everyone is right...it's a blip and you'll be okay. You had a human moment. Stay strong.

groybin

Thanks for seeing this as just a blip!

I had dinner tonight with a good friend and she said it was good that I realized it was a mistake, but nothing earth shattering.

She told me to keep moving along..

And yes, I will return the "favor" if he tries to contact me too.

coffeedrinker

maybe a little lesson in NC that you needed?

we all do this, groybin. be gentle with yourself, and get on back up there. :ghug3