Lost
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: OH
Posts: 24
Lost
OK, This is my first time post. Going this afternoon to commit my wife as an inpatient at a local hospital for drinking to much. I don't know where to turn right now. I'm mad, sad, hurt, tired. I'm tired of my life and my kids life revolving around her drinking. I'm tired of babysitting her and her drinking habits. But I still love her. What the heck am I gonna do now. I was hoping to get her commited so I can get some rest, but now I'm gonna worry about her in the hospital. What am I suppose to do?? Sorry if I'm not making any sense. If anyone can make any sense of this, what do I do now?
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Welcome!!
What you do is begin to give yourself what you are not getting from the relationship. Your wife drinks and she is not going to stop until she stops. When you can bring yourself to accept that, you are on your way. You can then be free to make decisions based on fact.
There are some great posts at the top of this forum...Melody Beattie has a great book "Codependent No more" which describes in detail what living with alcoholism does to us. It is a family disease and you are affected as well as your children.
I wish you well...make yourself at home here.
Hugs,
JT
What you do is begin to give yourself what you are not getting from the relationship. Your wife drinks and she is not going to stop until she stops. When you can bring yourself to accept that, you are on your way. You can then be free to make decisions based on fact.
There are some great posts at the top of this forum...Melody Beattie has a great book "Codependent No more" which describes in detail what living with alcoholism does to us. It is a family disease and you are affected as well as your children.
I wish you well...make yourself at home here.
Hugs,
JT
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Mich
Posts: 212
I AM,
Welcome here first of all! Second of all, spend some time reading the posts here and see that you are NOT alone in being a spouse of an alcoholic! Just Tired is right...start taking care of you and your needs! Find out how YOU can meet YOUR needs!!!!
While she is gone, don't worry about her...easier said then done I know...but it helps when you do 1 thing for yourself daily! Also, come here whenever you want to vent, it helps and everyone here can relate!!!
Sped teach
Welcome here first of all! Second of all, spend some time reading the posts here and see that you are NOT alone in being a spouse of an alcoholic! Just Tired is right...start taking care of you and your needs! Find out how YOU can meet YOUR needs!!!!
While she is gone, don't worry about her...easier said then done I know...but it helps when you do 1 thing for yourself daily! Also, come here whenever you want to vent, it helps and everyone here can relate!!!
Sped teach
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: ohio
Posts: 322
I am
I know that helpless feeling. There is much we can do.
I would recommend alanon as it has not only saved my sanity
it has given me a sponser when life was more than I could bare.
It has given me tools to help me along the way.It has given me a
closer relationship with my Higer Power.
This is a time of rest for you, be assured she is in a safe place.
My daughter seems to be in a detox on an average of every 3 to 4 wks. I say this not to scare you but for many alcoholics it is a
process not just a one time thing and they are suddenly never going to drink again. But it could happen ! The main thing is taking care of yourself and finding out there are ways to stop the
insanity that surrounds the alcoholic., one way is going on with your life.But even for that I have found it is a process that I'm still learning.
Keep coming back I am and take care of yourself and those kids !
hugs
liddy
I know that helpless feeling. There is much we can do.
I would recommend alanon as it has not only saved my sanity
it has given me a sponser when life was more than I could bare.
It has given me tools to help me along the way.It has given me a
closer relationship with my Higer Power.
This is a time of rest for you, be assured she is in a safe place.
My daughter seems to be in a detox on an average of every 3 to 4 wks. I say this not to scare you but for many alcoholics it is a
process not just a one time thing and they are suddenly never going to drink again. But it could happen ! The main thing is taking care of yourself and finding out there are ways to stop the
insanity that surrounds the alcoholic., one way is going on with your life.But even for that I have found it is a process that I'm still learning.
Keep coming back I am and take care of yourself and those kids !
hugs
liddy
Queen of one liners
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: walking beside you! Not in front of you.
Posts: 658
Welcome I Am,
YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU, that's what you do....the disease of alcoholism is cunning , baffling, and deadly....You need time to recover, a support group who will listen to what your thinking and feeling..
The hardest thing for me to understand when I first started getting in recovery , was the 3 's.
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
you can't cure it....
Keep posting and please follow the suggestions above.
love and prayers from one who cares.
YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU, that's what you do....the disease of alcoholism is cunning , baffling, and deadly....You need time to recover, a support group who will listen to what your thinking and feeling..
The hardest thing for me to understand when I first started getting in recovery , was the 3 's.
You didn't cause it
You can't control it
you can't cure it....
Keep posting and please follow the suggestions above.
love and prayers from one who cares.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Welcome I AM
Your wife is in a place where she can get some help. That is a good thing. I know that this was a very hard thing for you to do. But it is the first step on the road to recovery for both of you.
What can you do to help yourself? Is going to meetings possible? Coming here was certainly a step in getting some help for yourself. Going to the library and investigating some of the self-help books recommended here might help as well.
Take a deep breath, say a prayer and have some hope. One step at a time, we get from "here" to "there".
Peace,
Gabe
What can you do to help yourself? Is going to meetings possible? Coming here was certainly a step in getting some help for yourself. Going to the library and investigating some of the self-help books recommended here might help as well.
Take a deep breath, say a prayer and have some hope. One step at a time, we get from "here" to "there".
Peace,
Gabe
Member
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: georgia
Posts: 531
Welcome,
I guess you have noticed by now that you are not alone. We are all learning how to take care of ourselves and let go of what we can't control. It takes some time, but you will feel so much better when it happens.
Gabe suggest prayer. This prayer (The Serenity Prayer) is what got me through the beginning!
God grant me the serenty to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Blessings,
Constant
I guess you have noticed by now that you are not alone. We are all learning how to take care of ourselves and let go of what we can't control. It takes some time, but you will feel so much better when it happens.
Gabe suggest prayer. This prayer (The Serenity Prayer) is what got me through the beginning!
God grant me the serenty to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Blessings,
Constant
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