Mcribb

I made it through the holiday. It sucked, but I made it through. I have a good feeling though this time that I am doing the right thing. I used to puff out my chest about being sober for a weekend, but it wasn't going to last. I was very and I am still angry today over just annoying things, but I know a program is in place that will help with the anger, and I know it is with people smarter than me. On friday I found some new sober friends, it was alittle overwhelming because I have been talking recovery all the time, and on my day off I was still talking recovery. Oh well I am just ready to turn my life over for recovery, the message. I am understanding that not drinking doesn't solve many problems, it is just a start. I want to punch people in the face that talk about how great the mornings are after not drinking. I still feel pissed off. I feel better that if I keep posting, keep reaching out, everyone wins. I see if I am a good student and ask questions that the people who have been there LOVE to share what they know. It is right in their wheel house. Everyone wins when I reach out. I don't know when I will feel better, but I know if I keep going it will get better, but I have to do the right thing for life. Thank you for reading!

Mcribb

What I am thinking right now is how much I spent time just messing around in my apartment, not actually completing anything, instead of going to meetings, talking to people and getting better. My brain yesterday was saying "YOU HAVE TO CLEAN YOUR APARTMENT YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO MESS WITH RECOVERY" but now I see my brain has me by the balls, and it has been lying to me for years. There will always be time to do other things as long as you are alive.

Anna

Well, for me, recovery is about balance.

So, recovery is part of my everyday life, but it's not my whole life.

I hear you about the anger. When I stopped drinking, I had a lot of anger too, and it took me awhile to realize that my anger was directed at myself. I was furious with myself for having gotten into this mess. And, so the process of acceptance and forgivness began.

lildawg

Anna said something I hadn't thought of with regard to the anger. I am going to have to think more about how my anger is really anger at myself.

Here's something I've learned about anger: Having unrealistic expectations (that lead to anger) is a pointless exercise. Some folks say, "Let go and let God." It took me a while to understand what that means. I'm a little slow sometimes. One important thing I tell myself (about a hundred times a day) is: "Don't make this about you because it isn't. Just smile and get through it."

Congrats on getting through the weekend. I drove my husband to see one of his friends. I had to drive him because I was worried about him drinking too much and, then, driving home. The visit was boring, but I had no desire to drink. I was just . . . bored.

Mcribb

This time around I understand that it is going to take patience, I can't just stop drinking and work for a week or so. lot of difference in "not drinking" and Not drinking + working on anger problems