Kassie2

From "The Journey from Abandonment to Healing"

Thought I would stick to the format somewhat and keep each chapter on its own.

Withdrawal: "The withdrawal stage is like being in withdrawal from an addiction. It is when you crave the other person after the initial shock of separation has worn off. Mediated by the brain's own opioid system, what you feel is similar to what addicts feel when they can't get a fix"

"During the worst of it, you can't get away from your conviction that without your lost loved one, your life is over. This belief comes from the child within you...."

"Withdrawal is life without the medication of your lost relationship. You are coming down from the sedation of security to face reality.
Symptoms are intense.

Susan A goes through a description of the symptoms. I feel like I keep going through them over and over.

She then makes a connection between the current reaction to the end of a relationship to our childhood experience of endings. I might as well have written the book myself - so many scenarios applied to me.

Next is the identification of adult withdrawal patterns which are self explanatory - how we keep repeating the past because we don't stop to think about what we are doing and whether or not it is working for us or against us.

I like getting to the part where she helps us to understand how to change things. Creating space within ourselves to have our feelings and then let go.
I liken this to the well used phrases like_" if I let myself cry I won't ever stop" the truth is - we do stop because we can't sustain the emotion for long periods of time without a break. So the fact is we do stop feeling this way even if it is for a moment or several moments a day. That moment will grow into longer ones.

I find the connections made with the past difficult to process but the exercise at the end are helpful.

transformyself

I really love this section, was reading it last night, I think because it gives me concrete ways to start healing. I've felt like the rest of the book is like, yeah ok this is all true, how the hell do I fix it? And the exercises where you establish the two people inside of you: child and adult-are cool. I did it last night in fact. Fully visualize the 4 or 5 year old child inside of me on my left. The adult doing compitant things on my right, which obviousy won't be me spelling compitant or obvsiously. argh.

So today I'm ready to let that adult console and listen to and comfort the child. Jesus Mary and Joseph am I ready. And guess what? My biological kids start school tomorrow! So I'll have extra time to help my little girl.

Seriously guys? I think once I dump this abandonment nonsense, I'll be like some type of super hero. Cape and all.

Jenny1232

Kassie, I did start this thread already if you want to check it out to see the what others said.. there isn't much to it, but feel free to read it over as well.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ithdrawal.html