so bummed
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 173
so bummed
My brother's father in law passed away which is actually a blessing considering there was no brain activity. It means the family will not have to make the decision to take him off life support.
We are not telling my mom and I feel for my brother because out of the 4 of us he is mom's favorite and he deserves her support. The reality is though that she hs been so wrapped up in her own issues for so long, she is not supportive. When I had to put my dog to sleep in April, she actually made it worse for me by taking more pills and calling me crying on my shoulder every few hours. Trying to hide this from mom and be there for my brother is hard!! So tired and having major allergy issues today on top!! What to do?
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We are not telling my mom and I feel for my brother because out of the 4 of us he is mom's favorite and he deserves her support. The reality is though that she hs been so wrapped up in her own issues for so long, she is not supportive. When I had to put my dog to sleep in April, she actually made it worse for me by taking more pills and calling me crying on my shoulder every few hours. Trying to hide this from mom and be there for my brother is hard!! So tired and having major allergy issues today on top!! What to do?
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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Mel,
Is there ANYONE who can take over "mom duty" for a bit? One of your other siblings? A friend?
Your brother has other family members to support him. I'm afraid you are gonna blow a gasket if you don't get a break. Can you take ONE DAY for yourself?
As we say in Al-Anon, you gotta put on your own oxygen mask when the cabin pressure drops before you help the person next to you.
Big hugs, wish I could do something to help.
Is there ANYONE who can take over "mom duty" for a bit? One of your other siblings? A friend?
Your brother has other family members to support him. I'm afraid you are gonna blow a gasket if you don't get a break. Can you take ONE DAY for yourself?
As we say in Al-Anon, you gotta put on your own oxygen mask when the cabin pressure drops before you help the person next to you.
Big hugs, wish I could do something to help.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Melissa))) - I'm so sorry about all this you're going through
Isn't your mom going in tomorrow? I understand why you are keeping her "out of the loop" on this, for now, as her well-being is also at risk. Hopefully, once she gets there, you will be able to focus more on you, be there for your brother and SIL. Your mom will most likely be angry, but hopefully she will eventually see that your worries about her health and safety are very legit.
It's got to be a hard position to be in, with no easy answers, but I'm sending you lots of hugs and prayers. Don't forget to take care of YOU, too, sweetie. I know that's the hardest thing to do, in times like this, but it's absolutely a necessity. You need to be able to grieve, too.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Isn't your mom going in tomorrow? I understand why you are keeping her "out of the loop" on this, for now, as her well-being is also at risk. Hopefully, once she gets there, you will be able to focus more on you, be there for your brother and SIL. Your mom will most likely be angry, but hopefully she will eventually see that your worries about her health and safety are very legit.
It's got to be a hard position to be in, with no easy answers, but I'm sending you lots of hugs and prayers. Don't forget to take care of YOU, too, sweetie. I know that's the hardest thing to do, in times like this, but it's absolutely a necessity. You need to be able to grieve, too.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: FL
Posts: 173
Thanks everyone, but I need to get through tomorrow and get my mom where they can help her. My sister will be back from her trip tomorrow as well. They are thinking 18 days for mom, she has no idea, but once we get her there I am relying on some expert advice. My mother has always behaved like a spoiled child so I need expert help and am hoping to get it. So far tonight she is packed and ready to go. My brothers and sister will then do what we need to do to help my brother and his family.
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