calvary

Hi, first time poster hi to all. I have a brother in law who was an intraveinous heroin user for about five years. He totally turned his life around and got a good job, kept fit and became his old lovely self again. However.....

Now, five years laterhe's been having a rough time and I knew he was drinking too much and taking prescription meds. I then had a call from his gf to tell me that she had seen him smoking crack again which has utterly knocked me out to be honest. I can't believe it but it rings true as he recently smashed up his car and spun some wild lies about how it happened when in reality he was high and this is why he crashed.

Obviously we are all very worried and if anyone mentions even the fac that he is drinking again he just totally loses it and get so defensive and just starts telling us we are overly antagonistic and causing problesm. I have not yet adressed the crack issue , that will prob be when I may see him again in a day or so.

My question: He has told his girlfriend he has only taken the crack again once and totally regrets it. Is this most likely to be a total lie as I suspect...i mean he has been addicted once and why would he just take it once...surely he will just relapse again? Also what should I do? HELP!

nandm

First, welcome to SR.

Honestly, I am not sure what I can say to help with this situation. My experience is with alcohol as being a medical professional I was always afraid to use illegal drugs. Afraid it would affect my work or be caught in a drug test.

I am sure someone will be along soon who will be able to offer some experience.

Antiderivative

I would assume so, but I can't say for certain. If he is drinking and you recently caught him smoking crack, then chances are he is. Drinking would most likely be a trigger for him to use crack.

It also sounds like he has a drinking problem if he is drinking "again" as you say and gets defensive over it.

What should you do? I am not an expert this topic since I was the drinker/addict, but I'll share what little I know

Al-anon has great resources on friends and families of problem drinkers . There is also a forum here for Friends and Family who deal with alcoholics/addicts. You may want to check them out.

Unless and addict/alcoholic wants to help themselves, there is little you can do. You can try an intervention process. In the meantime, set solid boundaries, don't ever help them (i.e. don't ever enable their drug use/drinking), and be careful that you and your family don't become codependent.

stephnc

You might want to read some of the threads or post about your situation in the "Family and Friends of Substance Abusers" section of this board. Best of luck to you and your BIL.

Stephanie

STAY4EVER

I'm not an expert but I've had some experience with that type of situation. My brother was addicted to crack for a couple of years. Alcohol was his trigger. He'd start drinking and then he'd decide that he'd need to get higher. He went into rehab once for drinking, stayed clean for about 6 months, then started drinking again. Eventually he was right back into the crack. When he first started the crack, he lied that he wasn't doing it, etc. Or he possibly only said it was only once. It was quite awhile ago that all that was going in his life. As anti said above, unless an addict wants help, there's nothing you can do to get him sober. We all were very supportive of my brother but until he made the decision, he kept on drinking and using crack. Fortunately for him, he had is aha moment 7-1/2 years ago and has been sober since then. He wanted to admit himself to a physch ward because he wanted to get clean. Unfortunately for him, they wouldn't take him because he wasn't suicidal. However, by the grace of God, he had a doctor at the facility who talked to him very much in depth how the alcohol was triggering him to do crack. He hasn't drank or done crack since walking out of the hospital. He made an appointment with his regular doctor and got some meds to help him through the withdrawals. Then proceeded to get clean and stay clean pretty much on his own.

Like I said there is little that you can do except pray for him, don't enable him, and perhaps get help for your family while going through this difficult time. God Bless

calvary

thanks for all your help..the worst has been confirmed i'm afraid..his mum caught him out of it with a crack pipe smouldering next to him recently too. I have now confronted him....he responded as expected..total denial and blaming me for being judgemental!

He's probably paranoid as hell now cause i'm a police officer and he s really not got a clue how I know. I was firm with him but showed love letting him know I want to help him...but you are all right...he's got to make the first step himself.

thanks for all your advice..time to pray for him i think.