not 'entirely' new to this, but here we go
Quinn M
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Greenville, SC
Posts: 5
not 'entirely' new to this, but here we go
Alright then,
So I have been taking opiates HEAVILY for 3 years now, ever since I broke my back right out of high-school and was hospitalized for 2 months while surgeons shoved more metal rods and screws into my spine than I ever believed was possible. I'm not placing the blame of my own abuse on this event, addiction runs pretty thick in my family history, though this coupled with my own increasingly bad decisions has landed me where I am today: a beaten-down, broken, addicted college student with no money, few friends, and even less optimism for my future. Not to say I am suicidal, just that things look bleak without little tablets of bliss to look forward to every few hours.
I have been on and off opiates (leaning alot heavier towards 'on') since I got caught stealing (again) 2 months ago to pay for my abuse. I detoxed once, and even though I fully remember how completely life shatteringly painful it was last time, I am right back to where I was previously. I have been off opiates for 5 days now, but taking heavy amounts of tramadol (doctor prescribed for aforementioned back pain) to cope, but am now coming off that as well. I doubt I need to describe the way I feel in great detail, I think the word "******" will do, nay, "very ******". I just want to do right by myself and others, and STAY clean this time. Not just temporarily but forever, it seems so daunting from where I am standing.
Well I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself on this forum, as I can see my self scouring these pages in the near future as a source of support and relative comfort. Thank you for taking to the time to read this, just knowing that there are others like me is comforting.
More to follow...
So I have been taking opiates HEAVILY for 3 years now, ever since I broke my back right out of high-school and was hospitalized for 2 months while surgeons shoved more metal rods and screws into my spine than I ever believed was possible. I'm not placing the blame of my own abuse on this event, addiction runs pretty thick in my family history, though this coupled with my own increasingly bad decisions has landed me where I am today: a beaten-down, broken, addicted college student with no money, few friends, and even less optimism for my future. Not to say I am suicidal, just that things look bleak without little tablets of bliss to look forward to every few hours.
I have been on and off opiates (leaning alot heavier towards 'on') since I got caught stealing (again) 2 months ago to pay for my abuse. I detoxed once, and even though I fully remember how completely life shatteringly painful it was last time, I am right back to where I was previously. I have been off opiates for 5 days now, but taking heavy amounts of tramadol (doctor prescribed for aforementioned back pain) to cope, but am now coming off that as well. I doubt I need to describe the way I feel in great detail, I think the word "******" will do, nay, "very ******". I just want to do right by myself and others, and STAY clean this time. Not just temporarily but forever, it seems so daunting from where I am standing.
Well I just wanted to say hello and introduce myself on this forum, as I can see my self scouring these pages in the near future as a source of support and relative comfort. Thank you for taking to the time to read this, just knowing that there are others like me is comforting.
More to follow...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
Welcome,
Theres lots of helpful folks here, and we're doing recovery in many different ways. Sometimes I find the best help on the forums I least expect to!
I hope you stick around and take care
Theres lots of helpful folks here, and we're doing recovery in many different ways. Sometimes I find the best help on the forums I least expect to!
I hope you stick around and take care
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 5,285
Welcome Quinn! I hope we can help you get better. There is a section on the forum for addicts dealing with pain management ...I can't link when I'm on my phone but take a look for it, there should be some useful info there:-)
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to SR! Here's the link to the substance abuse forum
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
Here's the link to the Pain management forum
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...in-management/
Here's the link to the substance abuse forumhttp://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse/
Here's the link to the Pain management forum
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...in-management/
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Welcome to SR Quin
I think it's fair to say addicts with chronic pain issues generally need to tackle this from two angles.
First get a pain management doctor involved so that whatever medical treatments you're using are suitable for you given your addictive history...you want to get out of the cycle, not further in.
Secondly, look into a recovery programme - whether it be NA or some other programme like that, or counselling, or whatever - support is so vital in staying clean and sober IMO.
thanks for the links, least
D
I think it's fair to say addicts with chronic pain issues generally need to tackle this from two angles.
First get a pain management doctor involved so that whatever medical treatments you're using are suitable for you given your addictive history...you want to get out of the cycle, not further in.
Secondly, look into a recovery programme - whether it be NA or some other programme like that, or counselling, or whatever - support is so vital in staying clean and sober IMO.
thanks for the links, least
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Quin:
Welcome! And every good wish and all the luck in the world to you in your courageous efforts! Something admirable in the works! You'll get lots of support from your friends here. Sounds like those links to pain management, etc. sites are good leads. With a combination of first class medical advice, support sites like this one, congenial meetings, sponsors, etc. let's hope you do O.K. Keep in touch and let us know if there is anything we can do.
Welcome! And every good wish and all the luck in the world to you in your courageous efforts! Something admirable in the works! You'll get lots of support from your friends here. Sounds like those links to pain management, etc. sites are good leads. With a combination of first class medical advice, support sites like this one, congenial meetings, sponsors, etc. let's hope you do O.K. Keep in touch and let us know if there is anything we can do.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Welcome Quin!
I am sorry for your injuries and pain, but I am so glad that you found us and are looking to live a sober life.
You're right that it will take more than stopping the drugs, in order for you to stay clean. It will take some big changes in your life, but we are here to offer support.
I am sorry for your injuries and pain, but I am so glad that you found us and are looking to live a sober life.
You're right that it will take more than stopping the drugs, in order for you to stay clean. It will take some big changes in your life, but we are here to offer support.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome Quin- you've come to the right place and I hope things get better for you very soon. I know it's hard to imagine life without the pills right now - that's how it was for each of us and we understand what it's like to go through withdrawal and try to face what we've made of our lives.
BUT (and this is a big BUT), it can be done with a lot of support and taking things one day at a time. Please see a doctor, too, for help getting off the opiates. I hope you keep reading and posting. We're here for you!:ghug3
BUT (and this is a big BUT), it can be done with a lot of support and taking things one day at a time. Please see a doctor, too, for help getting off the opiates. I hope you keep reading and posting. We're here for you!:ghug3
Quinn M
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Greenville, SC
Posts: 5
Thank you all so much! I am very appreciative for the feedback, and will for a certainty be posting in both the pain management and substance abuse forums. I am so glad that I found SR, I am looking forward to being active in it's community. I have a lot of questions on what I need to be doing in order to regain the remnants of my old self, and I truly feel that this place and all of you will be able to answer many of them. My immediate plan for the next few days is to figure out how to get involved in a 12 step program (something I sorely lacked last time, and the 3-4 times before that = /). I don't really have any in-depth knowledge on the subject, just what information I have gleaned from my now 14-month clean younger brother's continuing ordeal, so I will be posting tomorrow morning on how best to get involved. I feel as I have so much to say and ask, and you're responses have made me more optimistic that I can survive this, though I am still extremely scared and hurt by everything going on right now. Once again thank you all so much, this and any future advice is a great asset to me, and I won't take it for granted. So keep an eye out for me, I need all the help I can get.
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