My heart aches...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 24
My heart aches...
My old username was Jansie. I used to be here all of the time when my son first went to rehab 5 years ago. I learned so much from all of the wonderful people here. They laughed with me...cried with me...and soothed my soul for years when times were tough. I haven't been around in about a year....have lurked here and there checking in on everyone.
I'm back today to say thank you
to everyone who ever responded to my posts, held my hand and heart...for years...you prepared me for my worst nightmare. My son overdosed and died 3 weeks ago. 
It was here that I learned to fill my toolbox. On my son's first night of rehab, I reached out and was told of the 3 C's. I learned not to be ashamed of this disease. Most importantly, I learned to come here when I needed comfort, support and a nudge in the right direction.
I love you guys...and I wish you serenity. Thanks so much for helping me find mine!
Jansie
I'm back today to say thank you
to everyone who ever responded to my posts, held my hand and heart...for years...you prepared me for my worst nightmare. My son overdosed and died 3 weeks ago. It was here that I learned to fill my toolbox. On my son's first night of rehab, I reached out and was told of the 3 C's. I learned not to be ashamed of this disease. Most importantly, I learned to come here when I needed comfort, support and a nudge in the right direction.
I love you guys...and I wish you serenity. Thanks so much for helping me find mine!
Jansie
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Jansie
My heart aches for you, with you....for your son. You are another person who is living the nightmare that I fear most. I am so very sorry for your loss......those words just don't seem to express enough.
From one mother of an AS to one who has lost hers to this dreadful affliction.....
......gentle hugs
My heart aches for you, with you....for your son. You are another person who is living the nightmare that I fear most. I am so very sorry for your loss......those words just don't seem to express enough.
From one mother of an AS to one who has lost hers to this dreadful affliction.....
......gentle hugs
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Jansie,
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
From my heart I wish to thank you for coming here and saying how this wonderful place supported you and helped you find serenity.
Prayers for you and your family.
Beth
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
From my heart I wish to thank you for coming here and saying how this wonderful place supported you and helped you find serenity.
Prayers for you and your family.
Beth
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by wicked 
Jansie,
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
From my heart I wish to thank you for coming here and saying how this wonderful place supported you and helped you find serenity.
Prayers for you and your family.
Beth
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
From my heart I wish to thank you for coming here and saying how this wonderful place supported you and helped you find serenity.
Prayers for you and your family.
Beth
My heart is broken...and it has been a lot along the way. My son is at peace...as a mom, that is all you want.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
Oh Jansie, I am so very sorry for your loss. I hope you are able to find some comfort knowing that he no longer suffers. I hope you have a good support system where you are, and know that we are all sending prayers and love your way from all 4 corners of the world - holding you up when you need it.
Much love,
Cats
Much love,
Cats
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
(((((((((((((((((((((Jansie)))))))))))))
I am so sorry that you are suffering because your beloved son died from the terrible disease of addiction. Sorrow will be your companion for a long time.
I know, because my own son died from OD in June.
I will write more later.
I know, because my own son died from OD in June.
I will write more later.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
It seems like You are getting a kind of acceptance
" My son is at peace...as a mom, that is all you want"
When I am my saddest I try to know that my son no longer struggles w/ depression & addiction. I will remember your words...he is at peace.
The first two months I was in shock and numb. Now the reality is more difficult.
I've given myself permission to grieve in whatever form it takes and as long as it takes.
Hopefully, you have support, help and people who also loved your son to talk to.
PM me if you'd like someone to chat with and want to share your number .
I often think of how my son suffered with addiction, but I try not to dwell on it.
I also try to remember his wonderful personality, his wit, his intelligence, the things he enjoyed and was passionate about, his happy-go-lucky attitude, his love ,the lessons he taught, etc. I want some of those things to live on through me.
Maybe you can share with us some of the things you loved about your son.
" My son is at peace...as a mom, that is all you want"
When I am my saddest I try to know that my son no longer struggles w/ depression & addiction. I will remember your words...he is at peace.
The first two months I was in shock and numb. Now the reality is more difficult.
I've given myself permission to grieve in whatever form it takes and as long as it takes.
Hopefully, you have support, help and people who also loved your son to talk to.
PM me if you'd like someone to chat with and want to share your number .
I often think of how my son suffered with addiction, but I try not to dwell on it.
I also try to remember his wonderful personality, his wit, his intelligence, the things he enjoyed and was passionate about, his happy-go-lucky attitude, his love ,the lessons he taught, etc. I want some of those things to live on through me.
Maybe you can share with us some of the things you loved about your son.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Nevada
Posts: 44
I send my condolences to you and any other person that may be in pain over his loss. And my aplauds to you for being so consciece and strong to come here and express yourself so soon. That takes strength.
Your son knows that you were right there the whole time fighting with him. He wasnt alone.
Your son knows that you were right there the whole time fighting with him. He wasnt alone.
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
I'm so sorry for your loss. It has always helped me too to think of my daughter at peace. Grief is an individual and personal journey; however it helped me to know it was my struggle and not my child's - she was in a good place.
My thoughts and prayers are with you....I'm so very sorry.
My thoughts and prayers are with you....I'm so very sorry.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Jansie, my heart hurt for you when I read this today and my prayers go out for you and your family.
Please know that we are here for you always, to walk beside you and help you through the hard days.
Words cannot say how sorry I am, just know that we are so glad you came back so we can try to ease your pain just a little.
Big Hugs and Lots of Love
Please know that we are here for you always, to walk beside you and help you through the hard days.
Words cannot say how sorry I am, just know that we are so glad you came back so we can try to ease your pain just a little.
Big Hugs and Lots of Love
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by greeteachday
I'm so sorry for your loss. It has always helped me too to think of my daughter at peace. Grief is an individual and personal journey; however it helped me to know it was my struggle and not my child's - she was in a good place.
My thoughts and prayers are with you....I'm so very sorry.
My thoughts and prayers are with you....I'm so very sorry.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 24
Originally Posted by Spiritual Seeker
It seems like You are getting a kind of acceptance
" My son is at peace...as a mom, that is all you want"
When I am my saddest I try to know that my son no longer struggles w/ depression & addiction. I will remember your words...he is at peace.
The first two months I was in shock and numb. Now the reality is more difficult.
I've given myself permission to grieve in whatever form it takes and as long as it takes.
Hopefully, you have support, help and people who also loved your son to talk to.
PM me if you'd like someone to chat with and want to share your number .
I often think of how my son suffered with addiction, but I try not to dwell on it.
I also try to remember his wonderful personality, his wit, his intelligence, the things he enjoyed and was passionate about, his happy-go-lucky attitude, his love ,the lessons he taught, etc. I want some of those things to live on through me.
Maybe you can share with us some of the things you loved about your son.
" My son is at peace...as a mom, that is all you want"
When I am my saddest I try to know that my son no longer struggles w/ depression & addiction. I will remember your words...he is at peace.
The first two months I was in shock and numb. Now the reality is more difficult.
I've given myself permission to grieve in whatever form it takes and as long as it takes.
Hopefully, you have support, help and people who also loved your son to talk to.
PM me if you'd like someone to chat with and want to share your number .
I often think of how my son suffered with addiction, but I try not to dwell on it.
I also try to remember his wonderful personality, his wit, his intelligence, the things he enjoyed and was passionate about, his happy-go-lucky attitude, his love ,the lessons he taught, etc. I want some of those things to live on through me.
Maybe you can share with us some of the things you loved about your son.
My son was funny...and had a twinkle in his eyes...and a beautiful smile. He was kind young man and a dedicated hard worker....always there to lend a hand and always had a job. He loved music and played guitar. He fought hard to beat his addiction...especially this year. And for that, I'm so proud of him! So very proud!
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