vertigo

In a few minutes I'll be leaving for my doctors appt. My counselor said it would be best if I saw a doctor for a check-up since I've been a heavy drinker for 17 years. (I quit 13 days ago.) In the past I have avoided doctors, and if I did have to go for something, I would always lie about my alcohol use. This time is going to be different. Honesty today. I'm really scared she will find something wrong. I'm really scared that will be a trigger for me. I'm just plain scared. ugh.

Jabbadabutt

Finding something wrong should not be a trigger. That's like throwing gasoline on a fire. Be hopefull that you are fine and have dodged the bullet. think of it as playing the lottery....but you now have the winning ticket to live. Whatever the outcome, stay strong.

Chloe60

I get it! My doctor's appointment is not until next week, but I am also apprehensive. I'm on day 27 and I have to admit that I am SOOOO glad to be really sober for the appointment. Be thankful that you can actually be honest this time. BEST WISHES. I hope you post your results...

RobertHugh

I found triggers in all my doctor visits. Good check-up? I've got more drinking to do! This stuff can't kill me! Bad check-up? Oh crap, I might as well drink more.

The disease of alcoholism would prefer we view it as externally-activated. The truth for me was, I drank because of an internal spiritual malady. My drinking was not episodic. I drank all the time.

Good news or bad news, drinking for the alcoholic is utterly insane. Until we're clear on that truth, we will drink.

LaFemme

Please let us know how it goes! I am putting off my doctors check up until I've given my body a little time to heal. But I remember telling myself back when I was drinking that, if I was sober, I could deal with anything else.

Good luck!

Fandy

if your doctor orders testing and the results come back elevated, it might be more motivating to you...Because the doctor will most likely order a repeat test in another 60-90 days to see a difference.

livefierce

I don't mean to hijack your thread, Vertigo, but this spoke to me:
I have another follow up visit that I've been putting off for a couple of weeks, and this thread just helped me realize that this health issue I'm dealing with is, hello! Just another excuse to drink! As long as some part of me still wants to drink, I will find something to justify my destructive habit.

stanleyhouse

My results came back elevated and I was having secondary issues too, due to my liver function. Six months later everything was ok. Your body will repair itself. You'll be amazed.
I did stop about three years ago and my levels were normal and I said wow, fifteen years of drinking and no harm. It only took one more year and the doctor told me my health was of serious concern. That started my process or stages of change as they call it, but I did not get help for five more months. I did a lot more damage mentally and physically by waiting.
Tell us how it goes and try not to worry.
SH

Dee74

Good luck on your Dr's appointment vertigo - let us know how you go

D

vertigo

The doctor visit went okay. She did say my liver felt swollen, and asked if it hurt when she pressed on it, but it didn't hurt. Hey, maybe I was just born with a super huge liver! it could happen! Anyway, the blood tests will be back on Wednesday. Did get happy news too - HIV negative. Yes! I guess going to the doctor isn't all that bad....

vertigo

I finally got the blood test results back yesterday - amazingly I'm in perfect health! Holy cow - thank god for good genetics!

ironlung

I was in a similar situation 2 years ago, perfect health with blood tests. After that I continued drinking using that as some sort of "excuse" I guess. It progressively got worse until I ended up in the ER a few months ago and had to get 3 pints of blind in me because of esophegal bleeding and a recent suicide attempt prior to that. I've quit now and am regaining my health. I will never go back to drinking again, it almost killed me in short order.

Fandy

you are extremely lucky...and I hope you view the results as a good solid foundation to continue.

julez

Congrats on the good bill of health. I hope this opens your eyes to the fact that you have the rest of your life to live, and you can choose to do it sober.

Dee74

That's great news Vertigo!

wpainterw

Vertigo! That's great you're deciding not to lie to the doc. I lied to him for years. Scared that she might find something wrong? Well, if she does then she'll likely be able to put it right as long as you don't drink. What's scaring you is maybe the thought that you might not be able to stop? You can. You can. Just stick around, get the support of this group, go to meetings, etc. Build a program and stick with it. It's hard at first but it gets a lot easier with time and you'd be amazed at how great you'll feel. Best of luck to you.

W.

vertigo

Don't worry you guys - this hasn't made me cocky or wanting to drink again. I'm numb and in disbelief right now, weird because I should be dancing around about this.
I went to a meeting today and I have a wonderful sponsor now! We are going to work the steps together. I was nervous about asking for a sponsor before, but she assured me that by helping me it helped her not drink. very cool.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and your caring posts. I feel very lucky to have found all of you! You have filled me with HOPE!

Eddiebuckle

Vertigo,

I suggest that you pick up a copy of Under the Influence by James R. Milam - I've been sober for 8 months and reading it helped me understand some of what was going on physically and also removed some of my "maybe I wasn't an alcoholic after all" thoughts. It's only $8... was worth every penny to me.

Eddie

ItWillBeWorthIt

Good for you vertigo, you're on the right path and will get tons of suport from this forum and your sponsor, that will make a huge difference in your recovery.

I was happy to hear that the doctor's appointment and tests went great.

Keep up the great work vertigo.

vertigo

I just ordered a copy of the book - thank you for the referral, Eddie!