IwantMyLifeBck

This is really hard for me. I have alway been in denial about my addiction but I just cant live like this anymore. I am 26 married for 7 years and have a 2 year old. I am addicted to oxycotin. I started taking it after I had my son. My husband got locked up when I was 5 months prego and just came home 2 months ago. I thought him comming home would make me want to stop but that wasnt so. It so easy for me to get the drug because my mother takes them. I feel horrible but must admitt to my faults. I have been stealing them from her. I just cant do this anymore. I am at risk of losing everyone that is important to me if I dont get clean. I have never been addicted to anything before in my life. I feel like I am living in hell( in my mind) I dont want to live like this anymore, I start outpatietent program on friday were I get drug tested every day. I am just so scared but feel so alone because I have no friends who ever went through this so they think its so easy. They just say ur mind is stronger. This is hard but I have no choice but to stop. I have HIT ROCK BOTTOM. The pills just make u feel so good but at the same time I am allienating everyone around me. I have to do this. I know I can but I am scared. I have to do this.

LexieCat

Hi,

You're in the right place, and doing the right things. I'm an alcoholic, so I don't know much about withdrawal from pills, but withdrawing from alcohol was no picnic. It IS scary to give up what you found to help you cope. As you discovered, though, they quit working once they take over your life.

You CAN get your life back. Lots of people in your shoes have. It's great that you're getting into a treatment program.

It's gonna be OK. It takes work, and courage, but the most important first step is the one you're taking now--admitting that your life is unmanageable because of your addiction. This is the only battle in the world where to win, you gotta just give up.

bluewheel

I am a recovering pill addict. You name it, I did it. Had a couple years sober then relapsed now on day 8 clean again. Detoxing from opiates really depends on the person and how long and what they are taking. If you have internet access... do some google searches so you know what to expect. But please see a doctor as they would better be able to tell you if you would be in harms way doing it yourself. Pill detox is nothing to mess with and can be very harmful if not managed carefully. Again, please see a doctor and have a plan. Having said that... you CAN do this. You think the pills make you feel better.... the truth is... they probably don't make you FEEL at all so how do you know what you're feeling? Get off them and start your life from here on out. Most of us are afraid to FEEL anything - especially anything bad. However, once we start feeling the good stuff... REALLY, the bad stuff isn't that bad in comparison. I know, I know, the baby is crying and the phone is ringing and the house is the pits and the guy isn't home yet or we just got into a fight and one little pill could make it all better.... NO. It just masks everything and we wonder why is just starts over as soon as the high goes away and we accomplish nothing. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. Your first bite... talk to a dr... get off the pills. Get your life back. You can do this!!!!

eremc08

You coming to conclusion that you need to stop is a great first step, and coming here is another great one. Everyone here can relate to you and understand what you're going through. Today is my 4th day without alcohol and believe me, this is an incredible accomplisment for me. You can do it too! Just make the commitment to yourself, come here and post and read posts because it helps so much.

I have 4 kids and I want to be a better mom to them, a better wife, but above all, I want to be a better me (or just be me again). You CAN do this and we're here for you!!

Welcome!

Angelic17

I have over 5 years of recovery from opiate pill addiction. I know what your going through, and it is tough in the beginning. You have to really want it to get clean, and it seems to me that you do really want it. Just keep in mind, your brain is addicted, and even if you don't want to use the oxys, your brain is going to tell you to go and get them. Don't listen to your brains message. Ignore it. It took my brain a year and a half to stop giving me the message to use pills. I knew my brain was going to do that, so I was able to stay clean at the most difficult time in early recovery. After the first year, it got so much easier. Now I'm back to normal. My triggers to use were stress, and anger. When I was upset, I thought about the pills. Stay calm, avoid others who use, and avoid stress as much as possible. I stopped using opiates when I was using 25-30 Vicodin ES daily. I was a raging addict. Suboxone helped me. I only used it for the first 3 days, and after that I was done. Suboxone helped avoid withdrawal symptoms. I didn't want to be dependent on that so I stopped right away. It was tough, and I suffered some anxiety, and lack of sleep. I felt very weak and exhausted for a few months until my brain started making it's own seratonin and dopamine again. Good Luck to you and GOD BLESS YOU. Your making a very wise decision. It's rough, but I am living proof it can be done. It would be wise to talk to a doctor and get a safe medical detox. It's very rough and dangerous any other way. It all depends on how much you use daily, and for how long you have been using. I wish you a safe healthy and speedy detox and recovery.

Dee74

Hi IwantMyLifeBck

I hope you'll see a Doctor. I'm an alcoholic but I know from reading here kicking oxys is hard - it's best to get professional advice, help and supervision.

I don't know what treatment will be right for you specifically - noone here can, or should, suggest that - but please do check out your medical options.

I also hope you'll at least look into some kind of recovery programme like NA or SMART.
I think it's very important to get as much support as possible.

And, so take a look at our substance abuse forum here. You'll find even more folks down there who've been through exactly what you're going through.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/substance-abuse

Welcome
D