eremc08

I know this is my 4th day posting a new thread.. Sorry if it's getting annoying.
It's still early so I'm hoping things change throughout the day.. but DH is working today and it's the weekend so it's going to be a difficult day today. This morning I woke up very irritated.. probably because I didn't get any sleep. Had a dream I was at a Wedding (of a friend who is an alcoholic - we are no longer friends) and I had a drink. I was so mad how weak I appeared in the dream.. I grabbed the drink almost instantly without any thought. (just a dream, I know)
Also, we live on the same block as our local pub and with the nice wind I have the windows open when we sleep. Well, at 2am, and 3am all I hear is drunk drivers speed racing down the street, burning rubber, and all the drunk people screaming and whatnot outside my window walking to their cars. I swear I thought speed racer was going to crash into something Sometimes there are fights outside too.. ugh. No sleep...
Thought about drinking already this morning at 7am because of how tired I am and how much cleaning I need to get done today. Sounds pathetic now that I put it in writing. LOL
Day 4 and counting the minutes..

BoutDamnTime

Good Morning!

7 AM and no hangover? 7 AM and no guilt? 7 AM and you can look yourself in the mirror and know you're accomplishing something for yourself and your family?

Sounds like a good day 4. Hold your head up high, and don't drink today.

inbloom

Big congrats on day 4! I've had a few thinking about drinking moments in the last few weeks as well. The biggest thing that is helping me is to take it a day at a time. Feelings, cravings etc. will pass. Drinking will not help me feel better and in fact, will make things much worse. 4 days is huge. Find something else to do that makes you feel good. For me, it's reading here (particularly certain threads that remind me of the road I was heading down which increases my resolve), getting outside in nature, taking a nap or looking at my written list of the gifts and benefits of my new sobriety which grows every day.

You'll be so happy when day 5 comes around and you know you dealt with life instead of medicating it. Good Luck.

eremc08

Thank you I've never gotten passed 2 or 3 days before so this is big for me. That might be why today is very hard. It's uncharted territory for me. I'm not sure what to expect of my emotions but I will try and get through it, and of course come here to read posts and talk to you guys because you're all awesome!

Fandy

I know that feeling too well...my worst triggers often came between 3-7AM on a weekend just to get some sleep. Not sleeping is a big trigger for me too.

You wouldn't get much accomplished if you started drinking,you wouldn't be a better mother, housekeeper or friend to your husband....You can be feeling just a little bit proud if you win the victory over your brain telling you to drink...because you DON'T want to go backwards.

You will get back to a more normal sleep pattern within 2-3 days....you can take some steps to help yourself by closing the windows against that noise (which might be making you think more about drinking) of the pub....enjoy the breeze during the day....drink a LOT of fluids to help flush the toxins still lingering in your body from drinking 4 days ago. take a b-complex, eat as healthy as you can....in the evening, try some relaxing tea and wind down mentally, do something enjoyable, try not to dwell on anything that triggers you.

I hope you have a good day and work through it because it is really worth it.

Kmber2010

Thx for sharing....it will get better I know each day I wake up that I am grateful for being sober....no regrets, physical pain and no depression.

Take it easy...you will get through this weekend and it will strengthen you for the next weekend. Each thing we go through sober for the first time is a challenge....because we are doing it a different way....sober....clear and alert. The next time is easier.

Keep the posts coming because we certainly are reading and enjoying the journey.

All the Best!!

eremc08

I have so many things on my mind right now and I just want to drink ( bills, no money, no car insurance, no health insurance, hardly any food, and my mother is being a major b**** this morning! Everything is so overwhelming right now and the money thing is having a snowball affect.

LaFemme

Congrats on day 4...before my current sobriety (day 41) I never made it more than a few days either...once I broke that threshold, every day past my previous record helped to convince me I could get sober.

Drinking dreamsgin early sobriety are pretty normal...I remember how upsetting my first one was. And difficulty sleeping is a big reason a lot of people have a hard time making it the first week, I knowgit was for me, so you are not alone.

Just get through this day, That's all you need to worry about...I know housework sucks, but its part of life and we have to start getting used to doing sucky stuff sober ...so try and see it as a learning experience...and maybe just do the stuff you have to today and then treat yourself to a nice bath (if you have Epsom salts add them to the bath, they draw out toxins a d relax the body:-)

You can do this!

Anna

I'm sorry you have a lot to deal with right now.

Try to focus on your recovery, and know that you can get through this.

The snowball effect also works when you do something positive. I started going for long walks after supper in my first week of sobriety, because that was when I usually drank. It turned out that it gave my husband & I some nice time together without distractions, and it helped me to feel better physically. So try to find something that you can do today to boost your spirits for a few moments.

Lionne

Sorry to hear that you are having a bad time Eremc. It really will get better and you can get therough these earl days! I remember how hard the first daysfelt and how overwhelming my worries were at that point too. You can do this Eremc, even if now these problems seem like a giant mountain and drinking looks like an instant release.

You can get through it and stay sober, and then later you will be able to adress these problems in due time with your full energy and abilities. Drinking will not help to solve them and will make it even more difficult to find a good solution. Stay strong and take good care of yourself, sending a lot of positive energy.

eremc08

True.. I do know this, however it's hard to think clearly right now for some reason. Thanks for reminding me I'm really grateful for the people on this site.

JosetteCollins

Having no health insurance, limited financial resources, and a difficult relationship with your mother can all be tough stressors....but at least you have 4 days of abstinence you can feel really good about! Maybe you should make a short-term goal to shoot for, such as a week. The first week is the hardest, and if you can resist the urge to drink for 4 more days, then the worse will be over.

recycle

eremc, the brain fog will pass. All of the problems you mention are really trivial compared to being healthy, and none of them will get better by drinking. Go for a walk with your sweetie, write it down in a journal, draw a picture, do something positive for yourself.

eremc08

Yes I do feel really good about it! The other hard thing is that my mother lives with us and she drinks every night. I've been able to avoid looking at her bottle when she has some in the kitchen at dinner time, so far. I'm just trying to take it one thing at a time.. but I do think about it often right now. The first 2 days were easier. 4 days is good and I want to keep going.

bochuck

The hard part is when someone in your house drinks. My husband drinks beer every night he is off. we travel for work (away 4 days home 3..ect...) If you can't stand seeing someone drinking you can'go into another room. If you are tired why not take tylenol pm and take a much needed rest. I do and feel better when I wake up. go to a afternoon movie and escape in that. We are both on 4 days so I am hoping to watch us both make it through this time. Lift yourself up and have a great day!!!!! when you wake up tomarrow you can be proud of yourself woo hoo!!!!! another sober day. That will make you feel so much better. If you drink remember you may feel good for the first couple but then things go to sh...t and you will feel terrible. MAKE THIS ANOTHER GOOD DAY TO LOOK BACK ON!!

eremc08

That's very true about the "good for the first couple then things go to s***" I'm like "oh just that one .." but I know it wouldn't be just one LOL owell. I can't take anything until the kids go to bed which is 8:30pm but I might just do that tonight to get some rest. Have a great day 4 also and hope to see you tomorrow on here for day 5

jules67

Love that you post daily, it is very encouraging ! When I quit for four months a while ago the first week or so were very tough. I felt like I had the flu off and on, fatigue and extreme moodiness. Yelling at my husband over something small to crying. Hang in there, you can do it. Just get through today with out drinking.

I am on day 2, and I can manage today with out a drink!
take care
jules67

stephnc

Hang in there, eremc...you're doing great! Keep posting, it helps us as much as it helps you.

Stephanie

huntwc

I have been reading your posts but not had time to reply. Congratulations on 4 days. I am also at my longest stretch without my wine for the first time ever. I have to give you the biggest "way to go" for staying your course with your mom living with you and drinking every night..I am impressed! My mom stayed with me for 3 nites and drank every night she was here and it was without a doubt the toughest 3 days for me so far. Please feel proud of yourself for not giving in to your cravings...you are a strong woman~~~you can do this!

eremc08

Thank you! It is very difficult.. but then I see how she acts because she's drunk and I'm so glad I didn't have anything to drink!! She's a terribly mean and hurtful drunk. (every night) ~ so that makes it a little easier.

I just bought some candy. They had big bags of swedish fish buy one get one free! YUM