Unbelieveable
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: hillsville
Posts: 49
Unbelieveable
So, I am writing to update you guys on the latest with my AH. This is totally unbelievable to me.......He was offered and has accepted an instructors position at our local community college! Can you believe...no drug test for a state job?? He loves it since it means he can keep up the pot habit. His boss is telling him that he (the boss) will be retiring in January and they want AH to take over his position as head of the trades division in addition to being an instructor (AH is probably the best Jekyll and Hyde act out there...everybody 'out there' thinks he is just great. He reserves his meaness for us at home). He is making twice as much as he was in his job of 20 years (he left that job 3 years ago to run his own business and his addiction without fear of losing his job). He has state benefits and quite frankly I would never have dreamed he could be in such a great position.
One would think this would 'fix' alot of the problems that we have had, at least the ones that involve finances and the stress that comes from not having enough money to pay the bills much less have some fun with our kids. Unfortunately, he is still as hateful and mean spirited as ever. Don't know if he is using, it's really hard to tell with him because so many of the tell tell signs have been present even when he was sober. Anyway I plan to take the advice I got here and base my decisions on his actions and not his using. Someone told me "if you sober up a jerk you still have a jerk". I see the wisdom of those words now.
I am not currently in a financial position to split up since we have gotten so far behind and he won't get his first check until mid September. I plan to save every penny possible since I am so 'on the fence' as to what to do. I will save, watch, and prepare for the worst but hope for the best. If we split there will be money for me and the kids to help a little and money for him to get an apartment or whatever. We talked about going to the beach over Thanksgiving but I think that would be a mistake. If there is no money saved and he continues to be a jacka** then I will be in the same position I have been in before...the definition of insanity. I don't know what the future holds but I do know that my kids deserve better and I don't plan to continue to live with a man who is such a jerk!
There is a virus going around at the house (pretty bad one) kind of like the flu. First the 4 year old gets it, then the 15 year old, now me. I took care of the girls by myself while they were sick for about a week a piece. Now that I am sick I can barely drag myself about but I have been sure to take care of the girls needs. Not only has he not helped, offered to help, or had ANY sympathy or understanding for me but he is all pissed off about me not cooking a regular dinner or needing to rest for a bit. I guess it all boils down to me seeing him as a very selfish and hateful person.
Everybody says "I guess you'll keep him around now that he's making so much money." NOT SO! I don't care how much he makes, it isn't worth mine and my children's happiness. I must admit that if we do split it will be nice to know that I will at least receive child support and we CAN make it financially with my income and child support. I know that it will take a little while to save up what would be needed if things end badly but at least there is hope now. Thanks for listening guys. I welcome any advice or insight.
One would think this would 'fix' alot of the problems that we have had, at least the ones that involve finances and the stress that comes from not having enough money to pay the bills much less have some fun with our kids. Unfortunately, he is still as hateful and mean spirited as ever. Don't know if he is using, it's really hard to tell with him because so many of the tell tell signs have been present even when he was sober. Anyway I plan to take the advice I got here and base my decisions on his actions and not his using. Someone told me "if you sober up a jerk you still have a jerk". I see the wisdom of those words now.
I am not currently in a financial position to split up since we have gotten so far behind and he won't get his first check until mid September. I plan to save every penny possible since I am so 'on the fence' as to what to do. I will save, watch, and prepare for the worst but hope for the best. If we split there will be money for me and the kids to help a little and money for him to get an apartment or whatever. We talked about going to the beach over Thanksgiving but I think that would be a mistake. If there is no money saved and he continues to be a jacka** then I will be in the same position I have been in before...the definition of insanity. I don't know what the future holds but I do know that my kids deserve better and I don't plan to continue to live with a man who is such a jerk!
There is a virus going around at the house (pretty bad one) kind of like the flu. First the 4 year old gets it, then the 15 year old, now me. I took care of the girls by myself while they were sick for about a week a piece. Now that I am sick I can barely drag myself about but I have been sure to take care of the girls needs. Not only has he not helped, offered to help, or had ANY sympathy or understanding for me but he is all pissed off about me not cooking a regular dinner or needing to rest for a bit. I guess it all boils down to me seeing him as a very selfish and hateful person.
Everybody says "I guess you'll keep him around now that he's making so much money." NOT SO! I don't care how much he makes, it isn't worth mine and my children's happiness. I must admit that if we do split it will be nice to know that I will at least receive child support and we CAN make it financially with my income and child support. I know that it will take a little while to save up what would be needed if things end badly but at least there is hope now. Thanks for listening guys. I welcome any advice or insight.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Endangered, please keep yourself and your children safe, he sounds like he could get violent, if he hasn't already.
My heart goes out to you, how sad this all is. I'm glad you have a plan, that will help.
Maybe have a short term plan in case you and the kids have to leave in a hurry.
Keeping you and your kids in my prayers.
Hugs
My heart goes out to you, how sad this all is. I'm glad you have a plan, that will help.
Maybe have a short term plan in case you and the kids have to leave in a hurry.
Keeping you and your kids in my prayers.
Hugs
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