transformyself

I got that from Abandonment to Healing book and am loving it. She gets PTSD! That's me.

I have been contacted by a group working with survivors of Straight, Inc. to write a book about their experiences, abuse, torture and survival in those centers. It's a paying gig but I'm stopping myself. I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I am tired of helping traumatized people tell their stories. I just don't have it in me.

I know it's really really important to get parents this information, to help these people get their story out to heal, but I just don't want to do this right now!

I'm thinking of sending the woman who contacted me to some other journalists I know, then when I do I realized I'm such a freaking control freak I don't WANT someone else to do it because they could potentiall screw it up.

This is a recurring theme in my life. I have to let go and let other folks do things. It's a problem in my business too.

Thanks for letting me vent. I'm really loving the book by the way.

wicked

Wow, do I ever understand this one. Like no one could tell it like you could. But, maybe, right now, it might be best to hand it off. So much going on with you and telling those traumatizing stories will keep you on "high alert" which leads to freaking out.

Just something to ponder. I am slowly, slowly reading the abandonment book, and yeah, she does get it FOR REAL. And, I am a little freaked out about it.
Sigh.....

Beth
Your comrade in arms against PTSD.

DesertEyes

hmmmm.... I dunno..... around here we call that a "vacation" Doctors do it, shrinks do it, paramedics do it. I don't see why us over-responsible and super-dependable alanoids can't be allowed a vacation too.

I actually took a whole weeks vacation last year, which for me is huge growth.

Suppose they do, what happens then? They get their very own opportunity to grow along spiritual lines

Was for me too. What helped me was when I realized that for me it was not a "problem". What it is for me is a _skill_, an ability to organize, lead an inspire. The problem for me was actually something else that had gotten tangled in with that skill. My problem was the _emotions_ that I felt when other people did things _their_ way. It stirred up my childhood PTSD that I got from my alkie family and I felt like I was back in that survival mode again.

Once I separated out the emotions, then I was able to "let go" and not go into panic mode. Without the panic mode I was able to allow others to share the workload, and I learned how to be a better team member, employee and boss.

Mike

transformyself

I know this sounds crazy, but I think my abandonment issues create or at least multiply my control issues.

Live

that makes total sense to me

HealingWillCome

It completely makes sense, Transform. To avoid abandonment, we try to control the situation and, therefore, the outcome.