When did that happen?
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Southwestern, Pennsylvania
Posts: 210
When did that happen?
I have been working hard on keeping my hands off the addict when it comes to my AS. I never think I'm doing very well at my own recovery because I do stay in contact with him, help him out occasionally (not with money!) and have as much of a relationship with him as I can without getting caught up in his madness.
AS is what I would describe as a 'binge Xanax addict" Meaning he can go weeks and months without, but as soon as one of his druggie friends gets their script filled (how these young people get prescribed Xanax so easily is another rant for another day), he's off to the races. I have learned long ago the signs that the binge is starting. Anyway, he doesn't live at home but comes over for dinner, etc.
Last week he shows up with the 'stuffy nose, slurred speech, etc. I'm not sure if we are suppose to call them on this stuff when we are 'detached', but I did. Told him he knows NOT to come to my home in that condition. Of course he deny's deny's denys...'it's my allergies'..oh PlEASE you don't have alllergies!!.
He says...MOM, it doesn't help me to stay clean when you are always accusing me!!' I think I shocked myself as much as him when I said..."I am not trying to help you at this moment! I know I can't do a damn thing to stop you from destroying your life, but I can stop you from destroying mine! and I don't want to be around you when you are like this...allergies or no, time for you to go. You know, I don't think I ever rendered him speechless before, but he kinda just looked at me mumbled something and left. Wow, imagine his shock when he realized it wasn't all about him for once. I felt pretty good about that small step and wanted to share.. :day6
AS is what I would describe as a 'binge Xanax addict" Meaning he can go weeks and months without, but as soon as one of his druggie friends gets their script filled (how these young people get prescribed Xanax so easily is another rant for another day), he's off to the races. I have learned long ago the signs that the binge is starting. Anyway, he doesn't live at home but comes over for dinner, etc.
Last week he shows up with the 'stuffy nose, slurred speech, etc. I'm not sure if we are suppose to call them on this stuff when we are 'detached', but I did. Told him he knows NOT to come to my home in that condition. Of course he deny's deny's denys...'it's my allergies'..oh PlEASE you don't have alllergies!!.
He says...MOM, it doesn't help me to stay clean when you are always accusing me!!' I think I shocked myself as much as him when I said..."I am not trying to help you at this moment! I know I can't do a damn thing to stop you from destroying your life, but I can stop you from destroying mine! and I don't want to be around you when you are like this...allergies or no, time for you to go. You know, I don't think I ever rendered him speechless before, but he kinda just looked at me mumbled something and left. Wow, imagine his shock when he realized it wasn't all about him for once. I felt pretty good about that small step and wanted to share.. :day6
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: New York
Posts: 217
Way to go!!! You could have taken those words right out of my mouth! Thats exactly how I am feeling about my son at this moment but dont know how to talk to him!! I walk on eggshells around him. I dont want this anymore. I dont want this vice grip on my upper stomach that has recently kicked in with him moving home. It is sit down time for him and me. I will be thinking about your words...they will help me in my conversation with him! Proud of you!
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Southwestern, Pennsylvania
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Originally Posted by puddinface 
Way to go!!! You could have taken those words right out of my mouth! Thats exactly how I am feeling about my son at this moment but dont know how to talk to him!! I walk on eggshells around him. I dont want this anymore. I dont want this vice grip on my upper stomach that has recently kicked in with him moving home. It is sit down time for him and me. I will be thinking about your words...they will help me in my conversation with him! Proud of you!
Good luck with your talk, and remember you deserve peace in your life regardless of what the addict is choosing to do with his.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
That is awesome!! I cannot tell you how many times I heard the allergies and sinus excuse! Good for you! As far as the Xanax script, I agree, what is wrong with these doctors (and pharmacies) these days and what does it take for them to all be hooked up so they can see what all the other doctors are prescribing?? Amazing.
Hugs to you, you are doing great!
Hugs to you, you are doing great!
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Fantastic response. Good for you!
I did something similar and typed it in another thread here. I forget which one. It feels great doesn't it?
There is one thread here called "An open letter to my parents" I think. It sounds like one of the things we are not supposed to do is tell them off. I thought that was dumb. Why not?
Kari
I did something similar and typed it in another thread here. I forget which one. It feels great doesn't it?
There is one thread here called "An open letter to my parents" I think. It sounds like one of the things we are not supposed to do is tell them off. I thought that was dumb. Why not?
Kari
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Southwestern, Pennsylvania
Posts: 210
Originally Posted by LowBottom
What if it was only an allergy? To me it sounds exteme unless of course you were SURE that it was dope.
I agree my response would be considered extreme if not for the years of trying to help him and getting nowhere but crazy trying.
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