TinyOne

Fotogal's post struck a nerve. Not a negative one, just a thinking one.

As I said in my reply I spent a lot of time in the hospital as a child. It has affected me throughout my life.

I felt powerless ALL THE TIME. It is an awful feeling and not one that could have been avoided. I no longer feel powerless as an adult (most of the time-lol) but those feelings of being a kid without any power are burned into my psyche.

Kids being powerless is something that I carry with me always. Should I work on those negative feelings from childhood? Probably. Will those thoughts ever leave me completely? Never.

It is me, it has always been me.

---------------------------------------------------------

When I was 21, I went to a party. I knew the 2 people I went with. It was an unfamiliar part of town and there were about 12 people I'd never seen before.

There was a drunk woman there with her 7-9 yr. old son. Mom's BF was a huge guy, probably had a foot and a half and 150 pounds on me easily. (I'm 4'8" and 90lbs).

I walked into the kitchen in time to see BF hit the child with a hard right to the eye.

I immediately picked up a wine cooler bottle, smashed it against the sink (I saw that in a movie!!), stood there and told him if he didn't leave I'd cut him open. He left. Without killing me. Good thing.

I'd never been in a fight, never saw one outside of TV. My point is--I just reacted. I haven't done it since, but I also haven't had a front row seat to violence against a child.

Everyone here comes from different life experiences. This is an explanatory post, not one that is making excuses.

Have a good rest of the weekend everyone.

journeygal

I bet that child is wondering who that little angel was and whatever happened to her...What an incredibly brave thing to do. Sure, maybe not the safest thing , but I bet that child has never forgotten that for once, someone stood up for him.

You're right, we all come from different experiences and none of us view the world in the same way.

Thanks for sharing.

JT

Tiny,

Now that I have you on your own thread I feel compelled to ask why you insist lately on disrupting other peoples threads? Like I am doing here, you might say.

Telling Steph she was disturbed? What were you thinking???

JT

countrygirl

What you did was immensely helpful to that child - you gave the message that it was not okay or normal what was happening to him. He needed to know that and it might have been years before he knew that from an adult. In as little as one action or conversation, you can give a child the strength to outlast the trouble.

But it sure was a scary thing to do.

TinyOne

Just Tired-

There are several instances where people agree/disagree with other replies. I've never seen that as hijacking and I'm certainly not the first person that has remarked on another person's advice.

My comment to Steph was part of my answer to the original post. It wasn't off topic. I don't think snooping through someone's personal belongings in the beginning is appropriate. At all.

MissyBelle

I agree TO. Some people say it subtly and others are brutally frank. In my world I prefer brutally frank.

margo

Whether it was off topic or not, it was rude and uncalled for. You don't even know Steph, so calling her "confused" was not appreciated. You don't have to be rude just because you disagree with someone else's opinion.

And Missybelle? You may prefer brutally frank - that doesn't mean everyone else does. Although it's not always appropriate to sugarcoat the suggestions we give, we sure get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

jessieandme2003

I also get especially upset about the helplessness of children. I read your story and honestly my eyes misted. I am not a big softie, but this topic gets me. I am completely, overwhlemingly aware of the helplessness of children. Of their innocence and pure trust. When I see an adult damaging, destroying or taking advantage of those perfect aspects of childhood I see red. I cannot imagine how they cannot feel absolute revulsion at the thought of hurting a child.
I only wish there were more brave souls such as yourself to come to the defense of children. I know I have spoken out on occassions where others may have felt it wasn't their place. Whern it comes to children I feel it is always our place.
Stay the way you are, but try to stay safe also.

TinyOne

JAM--Thank you, thank you, thank you. Sometimes I think I'm the only one here thinking about the kids. It shouldn't matter whether or not you have children to have an opinion on their abuse.

JT and Margo---Do I think Steph needs severe mental counseling? No, I would have said so straight out. Something like that was not to be taken so literal and to stand alone. I went on to explain. I do find it disturbing that someone would go through another's belongings on the first date or early in the relationship 'to get to know them'.

Furthermore, she didn't give any explanation at the time so I have the right to judge her based on what was written. Just as others have the right to judge me on what I write. And THAT happens all the time.

smoke gets in my eyes

Ladies...

If we don't knock this off I'm going to call the biggest anon-anon meeting in the history of this board.

I think we're basically in agreement now, aren't we? We will state our opinions but refrain from statements that may be construed as a personal attack. ("You are insert bad word here" might be construed as a personal attack.) Frankness does not require brutality. Nor do we have to always agree with each other. Support does not require blanket approval.

You might as well be basically in agreement with that because I can delete ANYTHING I WANT. Now having demonstrated that I have control issues, I am going to call your attentions to the fact that scolding and demanding and telling other people how they ought to behave makes you a BIG CODIE!!!!

So the next time somebody punches your button do a step one on it and come to the anon-anon meeting in my mailbox. I will much prefer that to what's in there now.

I love you ALL. DAMMIT.

(WE admitted that we were powerless over the other anons....)

spikerdoos

You are so right. Typical codies, flying off the handle. Although I am guilty of it myself, I don't want to see Tiny One get "talked to" every time she posts.

Strange how Al-Anon helps us with other issues besides the A in our lives. I am dealing with a situation at work where I have chosen to stop allowing a co-worker's actions/behavior affect my behavior or my mood. I have to work with her on a regular basis, and I finally decided to try to apply what I have learned through AL-Anon to this situation. I am now mutch more calm, and rational and I am very new to AL-Anon teachings!!! Thanks for all your advice and teachings on this board.

Well, I am off topic, but Tiny One, I am touched by tour strength and courage, and I am sure that child will remember that day forever. I am curious as to why you spent so much time in hospitals as a child, but if it is none of my business, that's okay too!