Jabbadabutt

Not new to this website. Long time reader/lurker who has been trying for some time to get my drinking under control. FIgured I will take a more active role in this group to get support rather than just lurk. You guys are great. Thanks for being there for people like me.

xuse

welcome

LaFemme

Welcome and good luck!

LaFemme

I am recommending the following thread, it's a great place for support when you are just starting, at least it was to me:-)

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2676941

julez

Welcome, glad you decided to post!

Dee74

Welcome to the posting side of things Jabba

D

ElegantlyWasted

"take a more active role"

Took me 15 years to figure that one out...
Welcome! Post away!

hotshot

I too lurked . It truly is better to post once in a while and feel a part of the group.......Welcome.

Chakra

We are ALL people like you. Welcome!

artsoul

I found that I couldn't do it on my own either, and the support here has made all the difference for me. The more I talked about what I was going through, the more support I got and the stronger I felt. So try it, you'll like it!!

Jabbadabutt

Thanks everybody for extending a welcome to a new poster. I appreciate the "i was there too' responses...they help.

I think it will be a little difficult to participate in this group seeing that I am seeking a heavy moderation approach rather than abstinence. (1 glass or wine or beer with dinner 1 to 2x a week during the weekdays and no more than 2 glasses of wine or beer on a fri or sat night). I know...I know....some will say that doing it that way is not sobriety and I am in the wrong place to be a part of things. But really, compared to what things have been for the past 2 yrs plus....moderation is welcomed....although may prove that it can not work for me.

In the mean time I strive to gain back the trust of my loved ones and get my head on straight so I can be a good husband and father and love myself.

Thanks again.

LaFemme

Good luck with the moderation. I hope it works out for you. I remember once seeing a forum for moderation, it was linked to a book called "my way" (I think that was the title). I never read the book, because I always knew I had to quit totally (I'm an all or nothing type of person).

I hope you keep us posted on how things go!

CarolD

There is a specific program for people interested in moderation.

They ask that you do not drink for 1 month
before trying their method.
They also state they are not for alcoholics.

Google should have a link to Moderation Management.

You will likely hear the tragic story of it's founder
Audrey Kishline. SR members will likely bring it up..
She had left MM before the accident.
People often neglect to mention that fact

Can you moderate? Gee I don't know but my
expereince and observation is that alcoholics
try and fail.....thereby causeing more physical desruction
and harm to their family.

Alcohol is a chemically toxic liquid...it causes damage to
every drinker.....not only alcoholics.

I think it's a no win situation...instead...try looking
at why drinking is evidently so important to you.
Have you considered counseling?

Hope you can work something out to benefit you
and your family....

Jabbadabutt

I have looked into MM and have read about their founder. Not sure if that is for me either. AA doesn't fit as I have little spiritual interest (I am scared to say 'none"). I feel that SR seems to be a good stomping ground for support in keeping afloat in the sea. You are right in saying that moderation is not the way and will only lead me back to the same spot -- this has proven true a few times I have tried but I feel that I really am getting somewhere with the approach. I know it will take time.....and most people around you do not understand that and want the "quick fix". I am simpathetic to them...but it takes time.

Thanks for the words or encoragment and suggestions and I will reflect on them throughout the day.

Day 2 sober underway.

Anna

Hi,

Welcome!

I hope the moderation works for you. If it does, then you are not an alcoholic. I think all of us have put a huge amount of effort into moderation before we recognized that, not only was it exhausting, but it didn't work for us.

And, I agree with Carol. Do you know why the drinking is so very important to you, especially if it has caused problems in your life already?

CarolD

OK....
I won't suggest you do AA ..as it is definately based
on living a spiritual life by following our 12 Steps.

Obviously ...that is not your goal. Nor does it have to be.

We have many members who are successfully happily sober
who do not use a formal structured program....
This can true for you too.

Hope your day runs smoothly....

Jabbadabutt

I have given this a great deal of thought in the past, present, and probably future. It is a hard question I would think for most people. I always felt that drinking (at least in moderation) was normal for people, and I wanted to be normal like most. SO I did. Well then like most of 'us' I figured out that drinking more than typical felt great ans then I realized it was all about the buzz. Then like most, a little buzz was great, so a big buzz would be better. Well we all know that usually that does not work out so well, as it often did not for me. I grew to approach alcohol as a tool to feel good, a reward system for when everything was going well (contrary to when every thing was bad). I think it was self sabotage to knock myself down or something. Not exactly sure why this was important. I think it may be because "feeling good" in life naturally is not the norm, and it feels foriegn to most. SO we try to get rid of that strange feeling by medicating.

Too often have I heard from my wife that 'every thing seems to be okay again and the confidence that i was okay was almost back" then "you had to go and get drunk and jeopardize things"......it seems that my pattern is to knock myself down a notch. I certainly do not want this/that. It is hard to explain but that for now is as close as I can get. I certainly have had an addictive type personality and feel that I have been a 'problem drunker' with bouts of alcoholism tendecies as far as the physical dependednce goes - which usually was simply trying to shake off the remnants of a bad hangover...that progessed into being drunk again....and so on until it comes to a head with the wife.

I have had pretty good sucess recently with moderation to normal levels of intake, with huge sucess with my physical feeling and mental feeling and my relationship, but that nagging was always there to have a few more and get a good buzz. -- and it was only a matter of time until I try to test myself and fail.

I feel that it can be the support of this site/community that can keep me from slipping off the edge from 'normal' to 'idiot' that can make the differrence for now.....as my relationship needs it so bad.

In the mean time between being normal my goal is sober.

LaFemme

Hey! You might want to check out the "Secular" section of the forum, we frequently talk about Alternative approaches to alcohol problems.

BrokenChains

I am glad that you are here!

Jabbadabutt

Thanks. I looked a little and still found very little on moderation approaches....probably shows how little that really works. I guess I am the stereotype.