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6 Months Now - Boredom

Old 08-07-2010, 06:01 PM
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6 Months Now - Boredom

Hey folks. You guys are awesome and reading your posts and replies has helped me tremendously in my battle against alcoholism. Thanks guys. I'm still fighting the good fight.

Anyway, my biggest challenge now. I'm about at the 6 month sobriety point. I feel good. I feel healthy. So much better than when I was drinking. My current problem is this: I'm super bored. Not intellectually bored (I'm a PhD student, so I always have interesting things to read) but in some other unidentifiable way. Basically, I think I need a dopamine rush.

In the past, around this time of year, I would overcompensate my late summer bored-ness by getting smashed and partying like a monster. Last summer, I blew through over $3,000 a month partying in Chicago. Obviously, that's not happening this year but I think I need to find some kind of dopamine fix or something to get my brain excited in a non-chemical way.

I considered possibly traveling to Burning Man in Nevada to check out the crazy art and hippies (they have an AA campsite). Possibly this could lead to some writing or something. Or doing something else. I don't know. Have any of you guys felt this? How did you get past it? Skydiving? Rock-climbing? Bear wrestling?

Thanks all.
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Old 08-07-2010, 06:19 PM
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Originally Posted by academia View Post
Hey folks. You guys are awesome and reading your posts and replies has helped me tremendously in my battle against alcoholism. Thanks guys. I'm still fighting the good fight.

Anyway, my biggest challenge now. I'm about at the 6 month sobriety point. I feel good. I feel healthy. So much better than when I was drinking. My current problem is this: I'm super bored. Not intellectually bored (I'm a PhD student, so I always have interesting things to read) but in some other unidentifiable way. Basically, I think I need a dopamine rush.

In the past, around this time of year, I would overcompensate my late summer bored-ness by getting smashed and partying like a monster. Last summer, I blew through over $3,000 a month partying in Chicago. Obviously, that's not happening this year but I think I need to find some kind of dopamine fix or something to get my brain excited in a non-chemical way.

I considered possibly traveling to Burning Man in Nevada to check out the crazy art and hippies (they have an AA campsite). Possibly this could lead to some writing or something. Or doing something else. I don't know. Have any of you guys felt this? How did you get past it? Skydiving? Rock-climbing? Bear wrestling?

Thanks all.
I'd be careful about that bear wrestling if I were you.<G>.
In my early recovery I switched my dependency (which was largely, when you come right down to it, how I had learned to "enjoy' myself with substances) to AA. I used AA to regulate my feelings and relieve my fears, and also to get started on filling myself up spiritually.

Most therapists will tell you that boring=empty. I always had that"hole in the gut," and needed outside stuff to entertain me. There were so many fulfilling spiritual activities, from music to nature, yoga and meditation, becoming involved in a spiritual practice, etc. etc.

The discipline and principles of the 12 step program were useful iregulating my thinking and feeling and, ultimately, in freeing me from all dependencies including AA. Now I go to AA more as a social activity and an opportunity to be of service.

Then...there was also bowling.<G>

blessings
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Old 08-07-2010, 06:30 PM
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Like zbear, I've given up the bear wrestling, only because after knocking out a few grizzlies, that too became boring, lol. (Actually, I got tired of cleaning up the stuffing material).

Yep, I know the dog days of summer and the threat of coming unglued seeking some form of respite from the heat and boredom. Swimming seems to help alot, and as an old Chicago boy myself, I recall trips to Lake Geneva, Wisc. I never failed to catch my limit and enjoyed the small fudge, t-shirt and ice cream shops, but even all that becomes boring after a while. Then there's always the evening to deal with, I was one of those vampire drunks, I always came out after dark. That was my hardest time and still is. Now, I try to make a meeting at night when they're available, go out to dinner alot, and even just take drives to get out of the house and out of my head. It's an ongoing problem for me, so I too am interested in learning more ways to deal with this.

I didn't intend to hijack your thread, I just know how you feel and hope a couple suggestions help. Keep hanging in there, 6 months is great stuff.
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Old 08-07-2010, 07:15 PM
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Going to Burning Man and hanging out with the AAs sounds like a cool adventure to ME.

I'd really like to go on a 3-4 day retreat, but I am under huge stress at work and I'm not sure I can afford it at the moment.

I'd also like to take a vacation that involves horseback riding. Can't afford that at the moment, either, but I look forward to it in a couple more years when I probably will be able to.
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Old 08-07-2010, 07:18 PM
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Music... I have been exploring the music I grew up with in greater depth. Reading books about it, downloading old shows, etc .... You mentioned hippies... Grateful Dead is a never ending source of interest and inspiration.

Cycling... That gets the endorphins pumped... I like them even more than the dopamine.

Skiing in the winter, Whitewater canoeing in the summer. I don't rock climb and I am probably a little too old to start, but who knows. I promised my wife not to sky-dive. Darn...

All that, but............. I have had to go through a change in expectations... It's different. I like it just as much, sometimes it's better, now... but I didn't get there in my first 6 months. Keep searching, you will find what you need.
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Old 08-07-2010, 07:34 PM
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White water rafting will get more than just your dopamine going, but where around Chicago? Oh, try kayaking the Chicago River or one of those really fast boats at Navy Pier. I think it's called Sea Dog. Burning Man could be intersting. What's the drinking atmosphere for that like? I know people have to aovid dehydration, but even with an AA site, I would be tempted by the party atmosphere.
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Old 08-07-2010, 08:03 PM
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My favorite hobby was flying private planes...
It's not instant gratification tho...it requires
study and common sense .

Well done on your sober time....
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Old 08-07-2010, 08:35 PM
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I really think it's up to us to make our lives what we want it to be, or near as we can make it.

Alcoholic or not, if we're bored it's up to us to change that

Mark made a good point...my life, and what I want from it, is different from what I wanted as a drinker - but it's not a compromise

D
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Old 08-08-2010, 03:12 AM
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Congratulations on 6 months academia! Zenbear got me thinking about you considering switching. My addiction counselor was quite emphatic about me not seeking addictive substitutes for alcohol in the recovery phase (even day-trading, to which I was already addicted) and she did not even support non-alcoholic beverages as a substitute. I've heard sky-diving is pretty good for achieving an adrenaline fix, but like Zenbear, for me yoga and meditation have provided fulfilling alternatives to the "void" we may feel in alcohol withdrawal. Good luck for the next six months!
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Old 08-08-2010, 05:08 AM
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Thank you for sharing. All I can say is that for me 12 years sober, that feeling comes and goes. There is nothing wrong with seeking healthy adventure. This Burning Man sounds cool. What I do want to say is that after 12 years I was really not in the middle of AA but on the outskirts for a few years. For me the empty feeling and need for adventure turned unhealthy. What I am finding is that the more I delve into my program and get to as many meetings as possible, arrive early, stay after, talk, share, reach out to new comers, really listen and try to heed advice...well the emptiness is relieved temporarily. It is a daily reprieve only. I have to take action the next day. This is just my experience lately.
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Old 08-08-2010, 01:16 PM
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Hi Academia.....a big congrats on your sober time!

And now, since we're all adults, I'm going to tell you what I told my kids. Boredom is a choice. Find something to do.

Drunks get bored too....they just drink to forget it...or have a hangover to occupy them.

Burning Man sounds like a most excellent plan!
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Old 08-08-2010, 01:29 PM
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I have found competition and goal setting to help get me excited and keep me interested and not bored with the life of sobriety.

I play golf, softball and coach youth sports, and I have set goals aside from my sobriety that keep me active in my business and financial life. I get a rush when I sink a 5 foot putt for all the skins, or getting up to bat with bases loaded and 2 outs. Adrenaline helps me combat the boredom when it comes. And acheivement of reaching goals that I set also helps.
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Old 08-08-2010, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted by academia View Post
Hey folks. You guys are awesome and reading your posts and replies has helped me tremendously in my battle against alcoholism. Thanks guys. I'm still fighting the good fight.

Anyway, my biggest challenge now. I'm about at the 6 month sobriety point. I feel good. I feel healthy. So much better than when I was drinking. My current problem is this: I'm super bored. Not intellectually bored (I'm a PhD student, so I always have interesting things to read) but in some other unidentifiable way. Basically, I think I need a dopamine rush.

In the past, around this time of year, I would overcompensate my late summer bored-ness by getting smashed and partying like a monster. Last summer, I blew through over $3,000 a month partying in Chicago. Obviously, that's not happening this year but I think I need to find some kind of dopamine fix or something to get my brain excited in a non-chemical way.

I considered possibly traveling to Burning Man in Nevada to check out the crazy art and hippies (they have an AA campsite). Possibly this could lead to some writing or something. Or doing something else. I don't know. Have any of you guys felt this? How did you get past it? Skydiving? Rock-climbing? Bear wrestling?

Thanks all.

Um! Easy to get bored when jail and such aren't involved! LOL I try to get involved with AA. Be it a opening and closing meetings, greeting everyone that walks thru the door. Spending some time handing out food etc... These will get that 'dopamine rush' moving in more regulated amounts.

AG
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Old 08-08-2010, 05:24 PM
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Originally Posted by AWOL View Post
Congratulations on 6 months academia! Zenbear got me thinking about you considering switching. My addiction counselor was quite emphatic about me not seeking addictive substitutes for alcohol in the recovery phase (even day-trading, to which I was already addicted) and she did not even support non-alcoholic beverages as a substitute. I've heard sky-diving is pretty good for achieving an adrenaline fix, but like Zenbear, for me yoga and meditation have provided fulfilling alternatives to the "void" we may feel in alcohol withdrawal. Good luck for the next six months!
Sky-Diving for me was the biggest trigger of all and I had to stop.

The adrenaline rush will put you on your knees and the first thing going through my mind when I got home was always Booze / Drugs to finish myself off.
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Old 08-08-2010, 07:30 PM
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Originally Posted by AWOL View Post
even day-trading, to which I was already addicted) !
Dont get me started. I was trading future contracts, forex, options..... That is one rush I loved and hated...
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Old 08-09-2010, 06:52 AM
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To me, this is the hardest issue to deal with in early recovery. It's the fear that I'm never going to have any fun anymore. Intellectually, I fully understand all the havoc that drinking caused in my life. And yet virtually all of the memories I have of doing really fun things involve drinking. Right now, I'm just hanging my hat on the fact I'm enjoying the mornings a LOT more now than I ever did the mornings after a bender. Hopefully, the appreciation of "sober fun" will come.

Day 22
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Old 08-09-2010, 09:20 AM
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I was extremely bored the first 2 yrs I was sober I mostly sat around and ate chocolate and other fattening cr*p...But then I joined a gym and I usually go to the gym 6 days a week; I'm now in better shape than I was 15 yrs ago (before the heavy daily drinking really started) the adrenaline rush is the best high in the world! and being in as good of shape as those half my age (I'm 53) doesn't hurt either.
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:07 AM
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Originally Posted by patman View Post

Hopefully, the appreciation of "sober fun" will come.
LOL... "Sober Fun"... Oh that brings back memories of rehab... I'd say those words, heard them said, like it was something that tasted bad and one had to spit it out ASAP...

Don't worry... lol... pat, "sober fun" becomes just "fun"...



Mark
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Old 08-09-2010, 10:13 AM
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Congrats on your 6 months!! I'm going on 7 months and feel the boredom thing as well...I'm kinda just letting things ride for my first year in recovery...trying not to overwhelm or re invent myself too fast....I'm working on the inside right now...getting in touch with me...then look out world...here I come!!
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Old 08-09-2010, 12:00 PM
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I spend a lot of time in the gym, and chasing after my newly mobile 8 month old..

But I think a really important part of my recovery, was finding contentment and happiness without chasing a 'rush'. Not sure what did that, other than time, and a bit of counseling. I know for the first few months sober, I thought I needed to replace my 'high', with a healthy way to feel a little rushed or buzzed.. naturally.. but then I realized I was still chasing the same feeling, albeit much healthier for me, and I wanted to work through that.

That is such a non-answer lol.. sorry. I think it's just time, distraction, new adventures, and a new sense of contentment that comes with recovery work.
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