nating

OK,

So I am trying very hard to make this day number ninteen, but I really want to just drink some wine and sit outside. So I tried the HALT technique. Am I hungry? No, but I was craving a cigarette. I am smoking about a quarter to half of what I did while drinking, so I allowed myself to smoke. One thing at a time. Am I lonely? Not really. Am I tired? Not at all. Am I angry? Yes, maybe a little bit. I am angry that I cannot just drink like a nonalcoholic. If I drink right now, I will probably be up until the sun rises drinking. So that is a really stupid idea. Then, I will wake up tomorrow and feel like crap both physically and emotionally. So, hmmmmm, ride this out I keep telling myself. Maybe watch a movie. Maybe read a book. I am just trying to relax and rest a little today, so I have not been keeping busy at all. This sucks.

academia

Hey nating. I know the feeling. I remember having those exact thoughts for a few weeks when I quit. It goes away with time. Just keep fighting the good fight. You can do it.

I see that you're in Chicago. Me too. I know how insanely frustrating it is to feel like the only sober person in this town. Especially on a weekend night. Especially if you live anywhere near the Loop or Wrigleyville. We're here, you just don't see us because we're not vomiting on the L or shoving a burrito in our face in some dark alley.

Hang in there. You're not alone in the fight.

nating

Thanks Academia,

I'm a PhD student too. In process of moving away from Chicago right now. Still have apartment by Sox Park, but same party/neighborhood bar atmosphere as Wrigleyville on Halsted at times. This may be one of the strongest cravings I have had yet.

academia

In the early days, when I had cravings I would usually try to find a coffeehouse or a diner, like Clarke's in Evanston or on Belmont. I'd usually camp out there, have some pancakes and read for a while. That usually helped me decompress and the cravings would pass. Of course, I love pancakes, so it's different for everyone.

I hope you're moving somewhere fun with fewer party monsters.

nating

Iowa is a less party like atmosphere, but I can create a party/death opportunity (fall down a lot) for one wherever I go. Probably gonna go to Winter's Bone at 9:40 or read a good book. Maybe I am just bored like you were saying.

Chakra

You are already better than I was a few years ago when I tried to quit. It was day 19 when I caved but you came on here looking for help or to vent. AWESOME! I am again new to sobriety and hope I can make it past 18 days. Things got so much worse and more intense since then with alcohol. Two more years of embarrassing moments and lost friendships and inadequacy on the job.

I commend you for your preventative measures and hope you WILL prolong your sobriety. Don't give up!

LaFemme

I hear a lot of talk about the problem of boredom in early recovery. Drinking took so much of our time, so now we have to much of it on our hands. Heck, I don't even have a tv to kill time with. I'm thinking of taking up needlepoont again, its very meditative. Its especially hard at night I think.

nating

Chakra,

You can do it too. I am not going to give up, and thanks for the encouragement. My dog just walked in polyurethane, so that was a fun distraction. Had to give her a bath and Goop her paws. Now, she is running around crazily in circles and making me laugh. Laughing helps a lot. When I think of how many times I embarassed myself, it starts to make me think that maybe going to an AA meeting should not be such a cause for social anxiety as I am making it. I have had to face a lot of people after making a total and complete a*# of myself. So why not do it? Chakra, are you saying you are also on day 18?

Nat

nating

La Femme,

I don't have a tv either. I think that I might get one tomorrow. My Dad offered me his old one. Weighs about seventy pounds, but has a digital converter box. I certainly have a lot more time on my hands now that I am not drinking, and I kind of forgot how to have fun or deal with down time minus alcohol. I love to read, but am always reading for the PhD. Maybe it's time to read something fun. Crocheting? Threw it across the room last time...maybe not my cup of tea. Hmmmm..croquet? Tennis? Basket weaving? Pottery? Hmmmm..pottery. SR? It's free and helpful.

Thanks,
Nat

LaFemme

Wait, sorry, how do you get polyeurathane off your dogs paws?!?! I've never had to do that but knowing my dogs it might come up!

zbear23

Because I try my best to share my own experience,strength and hope, I'm sure I often sound like an AA nag...but that's what got me sober and has kept me sober over the years. I really don't care how anyone else does it...all I can share is how I did it. Whatever works for you is perfect, but taking a well-trodden path may save you getting stuck in any number of mudholes.

Instead of looking for a diner, a club, an event...I could nearly always find like minded people with whom I could relate...at an AA meeting. And we did stuff together, too...(I already mentioned bowling)..sports, picnics, parties (sober), conferences, dances (kinda corny, but what the heck). And the "meetings after the meetings" (going out for coffee or breakfast, etc) were probably the very best thing of all. The main thing was to be with others who shared my thinking and feeling, my fears and foibles, and who could pass on to me how they filled up their empty space inside without drinking.

One thing that worked against me, btw...was I was so darned smart and educated, with an advanced degree and all....I mean...what in the world could a bunch of drunks ever teach me???

Lots. AA brings together people from all walks of life, all social classes, all levels of intelligence....I've attended meetings with movie stars, judges, lawyers, doctors, skid row bums, sports figures (sometimes bums as well) and just normal everday working folks.

I'm reminded of a Bob Dylan line..."but i was so much older then....I'm younger than that now."

Humility was a great challenge for me....

blessings
zenbear

nating

LaFemme,

My husband was staining the deck earlier, so it was already pretty dry, but a little sticky. Her paws smelled like poly. I just plopped her in the sink and used Goop only on her paws. It removes just about anything, but I made sure to rinse really well, so she wouldn't lick the Goop residue off. Says it's safe for children, but don't know about dogs, so rinse well.

nating

Great points ZBear. I am working up the courage to go. I am getting closer and closer. It sounds appealing as even though I am very anxious socially, I do love to meet new people. Plus, I need help. I also had no idea about the other stuff associated with AA besides the meetings.

Chakra

Nat-No...I am only just on day 4 now. The 18 sobriety was in Jan 2007 I think. I'm glad you found a distraction. Thank GOD for our aNiMaLs!!!
Right now I am in Little Rock, AR and am soon going back to FL where I hope to make some connections through AA. I have managed to free myself from the guilt and shame through therapy so right now not having a tough time with this...YET. SR is a goldmine for support and good reading!
We WILL both make it!

nating

Chakra,

Four days is great! Congratulations! And yes, thank God for our animals. I don't feel like drinking anymore. Guess even a powerful craving will pass, but that was close. I fear that if I don't get my a@# to a meeting and/or counseling I might not succeed. Getting sober would be a better accomplishment than anything else.

Thanks,
Nat

Dee74

Glad you made it through nating and I'm pleased to hear you've decided to add something to your recovery strategy

D

CarolD

Congratulations to our newly sober members....

Of course, AA is not the only way to find recovery.
Many of our SR members are sccessfully sober
without following a structured program.

We AA members often joke...."we are the last
house on the block" I certainly never planned
to be either an alcoholic or an AA member!

The very best way to discover if AA is for you?
Attend some meetings. Each group has a different
ambience ..so I suggest you "meeting shop"

Interested in what happens in AA meetings?

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-about-aa.html

Bored? Not me.
My AA committment has never been boring!


All my best......

HReady

Nating~I tried HALT today. I was tired and hungry. So, I stopped what I was doing and took a break. Nuked up some lunch, sat down and watched a recorded show. That helped me.

Chakra~I'm on day 4 too.

Chakra

I watched Intervention (On Demand) of all shows. LOL

Chakra

Nating~I tried HALT today. I was tired and hungry. So, I stopped what I was doing and took a break. Nuked up some lunch, sat down and watched a recorded show. That helped me.

So....thats really cool! Congrats on your 4 days. I think its awesome to meet someone who has exactly the same time "in" as me.