Aurora80

And I'm a little nervous. It's an open womens meeting right around the corner from my house. I really hate that I have to bring my kids (toddlers) and worry that they'll be disruptive and just feel like a bad mama dragging my kids to AA meetings. Honestly, they're the reason I haven't went sooner... I just never have a sitter.

I have to do something though. Everyone says it gets easier, but I'm on day 8 and for me it's only gotten harder. THe first couple days I was so disgusted with myself I didn't even WANT a drink. Today I actually asked my husband to bring me home some liquor, but thankfully he said no, he didn't want to be a part of ruining my week long streak of sobriety. There is beer in the fridge, but I'm not ruining a week over a freakin beer. Although at this rate, I probably will by the weekend

I'm feeling a lot of doubt and anxiety, and I hope this meeting helps.

Dee74

Don't let negative thinking rent space in your head Aurora - you can do this
I hope you enjoy the meeting

D

soberbythesea

Aurora have faith in yourself. I hope the meeting does help but remember, you can do it if you set your mind to. Don't bring yourself down by allowing yourself to think negative thoughts.

Aurora80

I just got back from the meeting and I'm so glad I went. The ladies there were so supportive and understanding. Hearing their stories was motivating. If they can do it, I know I can do it too.

I know I'm not going to drink tonight.

I think I'm dealing with some depression and it's making my recovery a bit more challenging than it might be otherwise.

Dee74

Keep reaching out Aurora

D

Brucel

I hope you have a great first meeting and that you hear something that helps get you to your second meeting. Keep coming back. God Bless

RobertHugh

Good for you, Aurora.

You're discovering that the "disgust" we feel early on can fade, and eventually alcohol looks OK again. That is a classic symptom of alcoholism. It's pure insanity.

Think of it this way: if you'd had an allergic reaction to strawberries, and you felt crummy for a couple days, then felt better, you'd NEVER think "Golly, I'm going to have me some strawberries tonight!" Of course not-- you'd be able to summon the memory of what happened. With alcoholism, it's different--no matter how resolute we are, how utterly convinced that we should not drink...we are often astonishingly unable to stop it.

Unless....you do what you did tonight. Go to a meeting. There is power in the fellowship of people suffering from the same condition, yet overcoming it. Your before-meeting post was someone feeling that powerlessness, and your after-meeting post was someone who was recharged.

You can tap into that here, at meetings, on the phone, etc. It's how AA really began-- one alcoholic helping another.

Hang in there.

BrokenChains

I am so glad that you went to the meeting. You can do this!

Aurora80

So true. This is what always happens to me! Thank you for this.

Harry01854

Way to go Aurora. Glad you went and glad you received support and understanding. You have definitely made a big step in your sobriety. Once you get the nervousness out of the way it helps.

Hopefully you don't stop there and make it to more meetings.

Really like what you had to say here. "I know I'm not going to drink tonight." Sounds like you have a purpose and a plan. You don't ever have to drink again and feel the way you feel if you continue doing the things you are doing.

Keep going to meetings and keep coming here.

We need you, we want you and we love you.

Harry

julez

I'm glad you went to the meeting. I haven't been to one yet, but I'm planning on it soon. And I'm proud of your husband. What a good man to save you from yourself! One day at a time. No thinking about the weekend yet. xoxo

LexieCat

Yeah, any day I go to a meeting is one where I KNOW I won't drink today.

WTG, Aurora!

AwakenHeart

Im glad you have found the support you need. Welcome to a new way of life. Sobriety is not a bed of roses, but it only gets better. Throw that beer out, its not worth keeping it around. Your husband will understand.

SlvrMag

That's what I like to hear!

Glad it went well!!

discoveringme

Congrats on your first meeting!! I just went to my first mtg in over 10 years on tuesday night,,and same as for you..it was wonderful..dunno what I was sooo afraid of!! Cant wait to go again!! Im on day 4. Best of luck to you!!

LexieCat

You know, most areas with any substantial population have meetings almost every day of the week, sometimes MANY meetings every day of the week.

You don't have to wait until the same group meets again. If you go to a lot of meetings you will run into a lot of the same people. Some meetings/groups you may like more than others, which is OK. Each group has its own "flavor" which can often vary a bit from one week to the next.

A lot of people recommend 90 meetings in 90 days, which sounds like a lot until you consider how much time you spent drinking or planning to drink or recovering from drinking. I did it, and I felt like it got me focused on recovery and gave me something to do and something to look forward to every day, particularly when the meetings were at times that I usually was drinking.

solareclipse

Meetings really help me when I'm having doubts about wanting to be sober. They help me remember how much hope and positivity there is in sobriety. I think alcoholics tend to lean toward the negative side and meetings pull me away from my negative thinking for an hour and tend to make me feel upbeat and happy about my sobriety for the rest of the day. Congratulations on Day 8!

Aurora80

I don't think we're talking about the same man. If I threw his beer out, there would be a fight. That sort of fight alone would probably push me right out of the house and into a bar.

Ashleighk0120

Aurora give it a try and ask him. You have to put your sobriety first. Without sobriety i have realized I have no family. It's not easy at first but keep reaching out find a sponsor and PICK UP THE PHONE and call women. Trust me you help us stay sober more than we could ever help you. Congrats on 8 days that's awesome! Love you

lildawg

I know what you mean, Aurora. I have ignored all the booze in my house for 2+ years. I've been married to the same man for 20 years, and I know exactly how he'd react if I took the liberty of ridding our house of alcohol. I finally had to accept that it was me quitting drinking, not him. That was my first step in realizing the universe did not center around me.

Some days were incredibly hard. Many days I wished I was not married to a man who likes his drink. I got used to it, though. I think we, as humans, are adaptable creatures. Whatever doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Keep on rockin' and don't drink.

Also, on SR's Alcoholism forum, we had a discussion about whether you should expect others to change because you have. People had a lot of differing opinions. You can find it here.