Kjell

Today is one of “those days” which really suck in sobriety. You know, where you wake up on the wrong side of the bed, maybe a bit irritable, maybe a bit on edge…not really wanting to interact with other people. Basically just angry, bitter, not wanting to accept things as they really are.

I used to drink these feelings away. One of the reasons I used to drink so much was b/c I could instantly change how I felt at any given moment with drugs and alcohol.

Now that I’ve been sober about 7 months and actively in AA and on SR, I don’t allow myself to get too caught up in these feelings, but they usually last anywhere from a few hours to a few days. I know they will pass…I know I may need to put some direct work into my sobriety, but sometimes I wonder if I just need to outlast these feelings too.

Anyone else ever feel this way in sobriety? What do you do to get out of this “funk”?

augustwest

i haven't woken up feeling that way it quite a while but certainly thigns can get sucky at times. you could just say "sometimes_life_sucks". it is what is you know, and all of us know that drinking and drugging will only make it worse.

one thing i've found is that it's important for me to start the day on the right foot. i read my daily meditation, say the serenity prayer, set my intentions in prayer, and spend a few minutes in meditation before leaving home for work. it really helps.

whenver things do get sideways in my mind or elsewhere, i hit the refresh button by stopping what i'm doing and taking some deep breaths focusing on what i'm feeling in that moment and saying outloud on the outbreath "as it is". i say the serenity prayer to myself and re-start my daily activity. it works!

Mark75

Yea, sure do, feel that way sometimes... it's getting better recently. I found it really hard to snap out of, some days... I mostly worked a spiritual solution... but that had to be connected with some kind of action... doing something to make a positive change in someone else's day...

Do something for someone else, not for selfish reasons, keep it a secret if you can... or do your job really well. AND... (not or) get a good physical work out.

What I try to do anyway.

lildawg

I feel this way often enough that I joined SR to try to get a more positive perspective on my sobriety. I think every person on the planet (even normies) has bad days from time to time. They wake up bitter, on the wrong side of the bed, and hating their lives for one reason or another.

I don't have any tried and true advice for how to get better.

Sometimes I let myself get lost in a book or a movie. I love to research, and, sometimes, I'll spend a few useless hours looking into a topic that interests me.

The best I can tell you is to take it easy on yourself. Remember that you're not perfect, so you're going to have cruddy days. Find something that relaxes you (other than alcohol or drugs) and immerse yourself in that. Sometimes it helps me to remind myself my life is good. I have people who love me. And, besides, it would be way worse if I were still using.

Above all, remember that you're not alone. You're sure not the first person who wasn't hollering zippity doo dah every single day of his/her sobriety. There are people out here in Netville who have felt the same way. We're here to listen.

penny74

l woke up feeling extremly nervous.
l don't want benzo's anymore.
A few drinks and l would be ok again.
But that is not an option.
So indeed, sometimes is not all peaches and cream.

SereniTee

I think everyone has days or even weeks of feeling ungrateful, addict or non-addict. Feeling like life isn't what you'd hoped etc whether it's your addiction, your career, your home, partner, etc or just a general feeling of dissatisfaction. I think it's important to remember what should be expected from a sober and "normal" life. Sometimes it's good, sometimes bad, sometimes it's really, really boring and yes, sometimes, it totally sucks. Everyone experiences this, addict or not.

Chin up Kjell big hugs xx

huntwc

OMG yes...I am 4 weeks sober today and they have been the rockiest 4 weeks I can remember!!!!! I am an anxious person to begin with so trying to change a pattern that has been in place for years has really fueled my "life sucks" attitude from time to time. Knowing that something you used to rely on (aka alcohol) is not an option can be quite upsetting. That is why in addition to SR we need face to face support as well. Being with others who "get it" usually snaps me out of my funk..even knowing I have a meeting tonight helps...keep looking for as much of that as you can get....you can never have enough support!!!

Kjell

Great responses so far - thanks.

Maybe this is also a learning experience (not much these days isn't).

If my solution to life (and sobriety) used to be alcohol and now alcohol is off-limits to me, I'm having to learn how to cope with these normal feelings.

It's amazing how delusional I used to be when I was out there drinking. Ignorance is bliss I suppose, but of course that caught up to me.

Anna

Kjell, I think it's some of both.

I had no clue how to deal with emotions in early recovery and I had a lot to learn. Like you, I did find that negative feelings would generally pass. In fact, I had to learn that emotions didn't control me, as I had been sure they did. I could feel an emotion and then let it go. The emotion wasn't me. This was mind-boggling to me, LOL, because I had felt like a slave to my feelings for so long.

But, I found that I needed to be vigilant about negative feelings because they could lead me back to a dark place. So, I would consciously do things to turn that around. I always did simple things - listen to good music, play with my cats, go for a walk. Doing things like that, even when you don't really feel like it, can help.

augustwest

part of the cause behind my addiction was that i demanded to feel good all the time. i didn't want to experience things as they were, i had to try to control the way i felt. obviously, that's impossible for long and very unhealthy and destructive.

in recovery, i've learned that usually the problem isn't what i'm experiencing or feeling, but it's my resistance to it if that makes sense. when i can allow my feelings to be present without resisting them and fighting to "feel better" i've found that the "bad" feeling is lessened and doesn't last as long. Fighting it gives it power.

RobbyRobot

Sure, been like that and it is what it is different for each of us. I was always surprised how fast I would throw myself under the bus to come down hard on my bad feelings and worse thinkings swirling around inside me. I too drank to change my self from whatever to whatever and not drinking and going thru a funk shows me my strength and resolve to keep my day free from myself pounding me into the dirt to gratify some petty excuses I might have for feeling down on myself. Good on you for posting and sharing. You're doing the right best thing already from what I'm reading of your shares in this thread. Good move.

These things pass, as you already know. I can tell you that even with years of sober time in, life still has its ups and downs. Living sober does not create a perfect harmless life in a protective bubble. That would suck even more, lol.

Just ride it out. Take in some of the time by looking at yourself with rigorous honesty and doing some kindness to yourself with some timely changes as you can best manage just for today. It's what I do for my funks. Why waste a chance to see my inner workings under uncomfortable situations? Sometimes our present difficulties are the same times to be at our best!

RobbyRobot

Dee74

Sobriety doesn't always make life rosy Kjell, but at least I know I'm in the very best possible position to deal with whatever is happening.

Keep reaching out when you feel like this - support from those who understand is a great help

D

Stang

I get them to but they ain't sh!t compared to a hangover!

Ghostly

It does suck indeed sometimes. Sometimes it sucks a lot.

I feel best now during or shortly after a good work out. Night is usually worst. That's when I would drink. I literally try to suck it up and wait for it to pass. I remember the time I have and don't wanna start over. I also take pride in what I have done.

Kjell, 7 months is soooooo freakin awesome. Hang in there bud.

Snarf

I don't really think about days in "sobriety" sucking. I just know that there are days in life that are going to suck, drunk or not. And I promise you this: every sober day I have is better than any day when I was drinking. And I mean that sincerely. Even though I thought I was having fun when I was running around and acting a fool, my life really was in absolute upheaval, and I was consistently at the end of my wits.

Tonight my fiancee's friend took her out for dinner to celebrate my fiancee's birthday, and they came to the restaurant where I work to surprise me. Her friend said she was so happy for me, and that she had received nothing but "glowing reports" (in her words) recently from my fiancee. And she could tell I was different. Back when I was a drunk, it was the opposite. My girl's friends would always hear about the craziness I put us through, so for a long time they were none too keen on me. So I reciprocated those feelings, and didn't even want to be around them because I knew they thought I wasn't good enough or doing the right things for their friend. It's a really good feeling to be turning that around.

Kjell, hang in there my Georgia brother. Life gives us bad days sometimes, but that just means that we have something to look forward to, because it always gets better in time. And if you really and truly know that to be true, it goes a long way in helping get through those tough times. Keep your head up homey.

1_day@_a_time

This topic is specifically addressed in the AA literature.

Emotional sobriety.

And perhaps one (of several) of the single most important topics after we stop drinking/using.

In the 12 x 12, on page 47 in the 1st paragraph, last sentence.

Also on 47, 2nd paragraph most of it, but also, suggest you pay close attention to the 3rd and 4th sentences.

Hope this helps you, I know it just helped me, I needed to read that, once again!

Thank you.....

Lionne

I agree with many of the posters that say that everybody get those crappy days, alcoholic/addict or not. We just used to deal with these feelings differently: by drinking or drugging them away. So it can be quite some hard work to let these days exist and find some space to let these feelings just be there without dwelling on it. But the good thing is, as unpleasant as they are, they will pass even if you don't drink. But you don't need to through them alone.
Hang in there, you can get through this Kjell

coming_clean

Sleeping, working out, choirs around the house and stuff, my job, going for a drive in my car, listening to positive or relaxing music, SR,

these are things that help me trough the sucky days, wich are a part of life,

also I try not the see a whole day as messed up, just some things in that day...