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Tomorrow Will be Two Weeks

Old 08-01-2010, 09:09 AM
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Smile Tomorrow Will be Two Weeks

So I was talking to my husband and as my first few days sober were like being in a foggy hell, I do not even think that I had my tally of days right. When I was withdrawing I was so frightened that I spent a few days just looking at humor sites on the internet because I thought that I was losing my mind. Anyway...according to his calendar, tomorrow would be two weeks sober. Wow.

BUT, last night was the first time that I really felt tempted to drink. Anyone have that experience around two weeks? Although I just started a new job and am very, very busy, I need to try to find an AA meeting. So what did I do about that "feeling"? We went out to dinner and a movie, and it passed! Someone said (was it Artsoul?) that the feeling lasts for about an hour with a peak at about thirty minutes. So I kept that in mind and did everything in my power to distract myself. I had forgotten how much I really love movies. It seemed like drinking was the only "fun" thing to do. Yup, falling down, waking up with bruises, posting drunk messages on facebook, waking up unable to function, waking up so ashamed of myself that I wanted to die, seeing the world as a hostile place, and hating myself on a daily basis was a lot of "fun". My puffy face, dark circles, and occasional pain in the side were a lot of "fun". Wasting every other day of my life because I was too wasted or hungover to do anything was a lot of "fun".

I am trying to figure out if something triggered that feeling of wanting to drink, and I think it was anxiety. Could it also be physical? I think that as soon as my insurance starts up, I am going to get back into Cognitive Behavioral Therapy because alcohol only kills the anxiety temporarily. The stupid Sh%$ that I did while drunk made me an anxious mess.

By the way, Despicable Me in 3D is really cute and light-hearted. If you just want silly fluff, then check it out.
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Old 08-01-2010, 09:48 AM
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Congrats on 2 weeks Nating, thanks for sharing that with us and letting us know how you are doing. I can only speak for me, but the first couple of times I tried getting sober I thought of drinking often and had quite a few dreams about them also. This time around, the obsession was lifted, what a relief, although I would still have dreams. In my dream though, before I actually used, my thought was, I can get back to AA tomorrow. That is what would wake me up in a sweat. If I should ever take that chance and go back out again, I really don't think I would ever make it back to AA. I just don't want to take that chance. I love my life today and hope I never come up with an excuse to give it up.

Someday I am going to watch Despicable Me. I like those little guys. Whenever I see the previews on TV they make me laugh and smile. I do hope to see it soon. I'm still a little kid at heart anyway, even at the age of 65.

Keep coming Nating, things do get better.

Harry
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Old 08-01-2010, 09:53 AM
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I didn't have cravings at two weeks, but a LOT of people do. The anxiety will start to settle down, too, I'm sure. I found that most of my anxiety was due to the alcohol, or, rather, withdrawal from alcohol.

If it's still bothering you once your insurance starts up again, by all means check into therapy for it.
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Old 08-01-2010, 10:45 AM
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Good for you!! Pat yourself on the back because you deserve it. You will have cravings from time to time, but knowing they pass and always pass with time is what got me through too. I distracted myself big time in the beginning. My mantra was, "Do not drink no matter what!" Still repeat that mantra.

Saw "Despicable Me" and we LOVED it!! My son recapped the whole movie in the car on the way home he was so excited!! We will definitely buy it when it comes to DVD.
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Old 08-01-2010, 12:02 PM
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Nating, I'm glad you are doing well.

I wouldn't know how to answer specifically why the urge seemed to fall on you at that particular time, because there are multiple plausible reasons. I'm not a statistical expert or expert in general on this, but I suppose these episodes would decrease in frequency as time goes on.

All those negative things you listed and more will be good for you to remember. For some people, it's unfortunately not enough. I like to think that time passing without alcohol allows for a peace to exist inside, and that kind of thinking has worked for me, because I don't want to give it up.
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Old 08-01-2010, 02:41 PM
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congratulations nating

D
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Old 08-01-2010, 04:31 PM
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Good job nating!! Congrats on 2 weeks!

I had urges to drink several times in the first month and they're so maddening. I just tried to do what I could to turn my attention away. Coming here and reading like crazy seems to be one of the most helpful things for me. I've read newcomer's posts (over 150 pages of them!) from the past year, and it really helps me realize I DON'T want to repeat day 1 again.

I try to find something to look forward to each day (a good meal, a new PC game, a TV show, surfing the internet, a new book, are just a few I use). And I also try to think about what's good in my life and practice some gratitude.

It sucks, I know, but it does pass.
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Old 08-01-2010, 07:06 PM
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Hi nating,

Congrats on two weeks - this is day 14 for me as well. I'm having some cravings to deal with as well although I'm really feeling good about myself in the mornings! I don't post much but I find just coming here and reading through threads is REALLY helpful. FWIW.
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:20 PM
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Thanks for the support again everyone! No cravings today. We went paddleboating, and the sunshine seemed to do me a world of good. I had forgotten how much I enjoy physical exercise and being outside. I also keep getting "signs" of encouragement randomly. Maybe they were always there, but I was too drunk or hungover to notice them. I'm pretty spiritual, and it is nice to feel that again. Hell, it's nice to feel anything again besides the insipid "high" of drinking and the pain, depression, and anxiety of a hangover. I also finally found a meeting to go to tomorrow night. I figure that since I gave someone else advice this afternoon, I had better get a better idea of what I am talking about. Plus, the camraderie of the experience can't hurt. People to turn to here and there should help a lot. I also want to be able to support other people through this process as well.
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Old 08-01-2010, 08:24 PM
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The cravings pass. I struggled a little bit around 2 weeks also but got through it. Glad to see you doing positive things. It really helps to replace the old routines with new, positive things and habits that are good for us.

Sounds like you are on the right track!
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