suic

I'm powerless over alcohol. Utterly hopelessly powerless. I never truly admitted this to myself or others before. I simply was not ready or desperate enough to go all in on sobriety. I was wallowing in self pity and still mired in delusion. I feel so liberated. Now I have to really do the work to stay sober. I didn't do the work because deep down inside I was not fully ready to quit, it's that simple. My problem is that my head was jammed sooo far up my ass that it just took a real long time to get it out, it was stuck up there pretty good. God intervened in my life tonight. He sent me many life boats in the past, but I chose not to get on until tonight. I'm handing over the reigns to God. I'm finished driving, I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing. I am WELL aware of the fact that this alone is not going to save my ass, I need to do this every day. Every single day. As I said, I never was able to stay sober because I just was not done drinking. Period. Now I'm done. I'm grateful to be alive, I hope i pull through, I know I can if I truly apply myself.

mf150

Sounds like some serious insight. Good for you. You've made the decision, and sure it's a bit scary to think about how you're going to get there. Rest assured that you can do it. SR is a great place for support. We've been there before and will help ya in any way we can.

Dee74

That's good news Suic - sounds like the eureka moment!
now please please follow through - reach out there and get some help and change your life - strike while that iron is hot, suic

D

Starburst

Congratulations, i am sure you are going to be fine, keep strong, seek all the help you need, change your life to be better! We are all here for you!

Kitey

Gawd, I know where your coming through Mate. I joined here in 2005, I dont remember if I posted but 5 year down the line I have finally gave up drinking.

I THOUGHT i must have been ready to quit back then but it seems not! I have no idea what came over me this time round, I hate myself for what I have put myself through and my family, it mustnt have been much fun for my kids to see I was always drunk!

I'm pleased you have seen the light... Its early days for me but I have decided my life is so much better now that I dont see it through the Bottom of a Glass!

Good Luck and I wish you well.

LifeIs

Your in a good place right now, keep going forward! Decide how you are going to go about this, a group, AA, counseling, all of the above... then do it!

We will be here for you, all of us on SR! Be strong!:ghug3

endzoner

Suic .. Im glad your head is outta your rear end , now lets keep it in the fresh air .
and get out and breath it! You know what im refurring to , Im pulling for you .. Endzy

Anna

Suic,

I'm glad to hear this!

I also felt truly liberated when I finally realized that drinking was no longer an option, ever. At that point, I began to find new and healthy ways to deal with my life.

cat1961

Suic - I'm glad you came to terms with the drinking. I've been there for many years and am now 18 days sober. It's truly a great feeling to have one's head out of their own behind.

You must be strong and think of all the positive aspects of not drinking, including no more hangovers, more self-respect and the joy of being able to socialize with friends and family on a sober basis without having to hide behind the booze. It's a tough road the first few days (at least for me) but so rewarding after those days.

Stick around here and you'll get more support than you could imagine to keep your sobriety. SR has kept me sober this long and am so grateful.

Good luck my friend!

Lithobid

You're sounding great suic! That's the right program, now remember, meetings, meetings, meetings, they are your first priority, after that, working with your sponsor, and steps. It's fantastic to see you adamant about your sobriety, keep it up!

-Lith

artsoul

Suic - just big hugs for you right now.... so happy you came back. I went back to drinking twice before I saw the light. As they say "it takes what it takes."

Keep going strong and don't be too hard on yourself. Sunnier days are ahead!

MTWildflower

Thank you for sharing this.

Kjell

What a freak'n AWESOME post Suic.

Sounds like you're willing. Always, forever, remain willing one-day-at-a-time.

I've heard, in AA, that we have the power to move mountains, but you better bring your shovel. Get ready for the ride of your life, but you've got to be willing to work hard for it (in my opinion).