Kindeyes

I was thinking today of the things that help me keep (or find) my "calm place", my serenity. We often suggest to others to "do something for yourself" but I can remember when I was in that deep, deep despair and pain and I didn't always "get it". I thought it might be helpful to some of the people who are in that pain and despair to know some of the things we do to help keep us in that "serenity".

1. I listen to very calming music. You know, the kind they play in a spa or during a massage. I listen to it while I drive......it helps me let aggressive drivers roll right off my back.

2. Yesterday, I had the day off, so I dedicated the day to ME! I exercised, I read, I slept, I read some more, I slept, I read.....it was delicious.

I have quite a few things in my toolbox that I use but I would love to hear what others do to help them stay in the "serenity zone". And I hope you don't mind if I borrow them.

Hammerhead

#1 - Pray the Serenity Prayer
#2 - Remember the 3 C's (Didn't Cause it, Can't Cure it, Can't Control it)
#3 - Refer to SR and all the wisdom here

NightandDay

This is so helpful to me. The effort to say it silently to myself while I ride the subway or walk the streets immediately takes my mind off its track of obsession, if only for a few seconds.

Chino

I always have music on and the genre depends on my mood. I am so grateful for satellite radio because I have many moods

I remind myself that I'm powerless over other people, and probably 100 times a day. I say "I'm powerless" at least once a day. I need to say it and hear it.

ladyamalthea

Depends on my mood, really, but here's the things I'm most likely to do:

-go lay out at the pool with a friend
-get my nails/hair/eyebrows/etc done (whichever best fits my budget and needs at the moment)
-read one of my favorite books
-take a nap
-find a "project" for the day- and this can be anything from making cupcakes to organizing a closet that has been cluttered

And oftentimes I find myself muttering the word "serenity..." under my breath at particularly trying moments lol.

Ann

Walking with nature is one of my tools...along the beach, through a wooded nature trail, at the top of the mountains looking down on the beauty below, or just sitting in a garden.

These connect me once again with my HP and make me grateful for living in such a beautiful world.

Hugs

Kindeyes

I LOVE all of these things that you are all sharing! Oh yes.....that feeling of being one with nature.

It gives me a feeling of being close to my HP but for me, that HP and that feeling is in my chest. There's a feeling of peace......the serenity zone......that resides right in the middle of my heart. Does that make sense? It's a feeling of balance.

Thank you all for sharing the things you do to get into the "serenity zone". Keep 'em coming....I'm collecting them for my toolbox!!!

gentle hugs

cece1960

I have a small deck off of my family room, surrounded by a privacy fence. When I sit out there, I point myself to the back yard and see trees. I can pretend I'm all by myself, even though I live in a neighborhood.

I also enjoy music (all sorts) and can rid my head and clean up a storm on any given Saturday.

And (similar to Cynical) I find myself looking up often. The sky has always facinated me in its endlessness and reminds me that the universe does not revolve around me.

tam

great thread

1. pray everyday
2. read my daily readings from courage to change
3. weekends I go to the lake/beach and relax, swim,tan, look at the mountains and trees.
4. go for a run
5. do something around the house
6. relax and watch tv with my 3 dogs
7. go upstairs or outfront to visit the tenants and hold their 6 week old baby and play at the park with their 7 year old.
8. take a ride and listen to music

Chino

This thread is a such a perfect reminder of how blessed I am. My home is on the river and I'm greeted each day by serenity, if I want it. My home is an integral part of my serenity, and it's up to me to make sure chaos stays away.

When I need to recharge my batteries alone, I hop on a plane and usually head out to the desert.

I am blessed and incredibly fortunate. I've learned these last three years the only thing that interferes with my serenity, is me.

Bernadette

If I'm really out of whack I say the serenity prayer a few hundred times.

Also Louise Hay's affirmations work wonders for me--
Some of my faves are:

The past is gone. I am free in this moment.

I am safe. All is well.

I now choose a peaceful joyous future.

These are all good reminders to me that I AM in the driver's seat of the serenity bus, and that my focus on other people's problems is a way to distract me from my own fear, anxiety, and pressing problems in my own life!!!

Also making a list or a little plan for the day and sticking to it. Could be chores for just that day - or could be small chunks of a bigger project that need attention. It's the sticking to it that brings me peace of mind.

peace-
B

greeteachday

Long walks in the woods or on the beach
Early morning runs (I'm so lucky that a run "around the block" is a little over 4 miles through horse farms and dairy farms and open fields)
Watching the sun rise or set
Music
Reading...letting a book of recovery readings open to any page and seeing the message is always so soothing
Lighting lots of candles and soaking in the jacuzzi
Kayaking
Writing my fears down, then burning the paper
Making a collage of things that make me feel peaceful...natural beauty; dreams, smiling kids
Gardening
Meditation

Thank you for this thread KindEyes...What a lovely idea.

KariSue

Besides a lot of those already mentioned....

-Retail therapy is always nice if I can afford it. I am rather frugal but love shopping for real bargains. Garage sales are fun and I got six 'almost new' infant outfits for $6 at the thirft shop last weekend for my pregnant daughter. It is one of the few times I've ever been to a thrift shop but they are fun. They were marked $13 but she said all the baby items were half price that day!

-Sex, whether you have a partner or fly solo *wink*. It just feels good.

-The Hallmark Channel-I just discovered it. There are so many 'feel good' chick flicks. I also like the Lifetime channel but it has mostly true stories that can be kind of sad. They are also good but sometimes I just want happy stories with happy endings so I love the Hallmark channel on weekends.

-My soap opera-I just have one and even though it is cheesy it is good cheesy fun. Hot guys and women with great clothes to look at. I also like to think like the writer's do and wonder how they can keep you on the edge of your seat...every single day. Not to mention, they even have worse problems than I do!

-Playing on the computer. Just going to various forums I belong to or looking through photos to use as a desktop picture or just exploring.

-Thinking certain thoughts during stressful times helps. I like "I can't help how I feel right now but I can help how I think and act." Anonymous

-Oh this isn't exactly relaxing but as someone mentioned about projects, it is one I am really liking. Go to flylady.net. It is a site for those who find their housework overwhelming. You get an email every day telling you what to accomplish and it is very little. It teaches you to build habits saying you can do anything in 15 minute increments. It is very cool. It is just giving me a clean, well organized house in very little time every day. The daily support is great too.

Kari

Kindeyes

KariSue
I'm not sure if it'll take me into the "serenity zone" but I'll check out flylady.net because it just sounds cool.
thx

KariSue

You're welcome. It is cool.

Kari

fourmaggie

2)Petting my cat for at least 10 mins...calms me
3) a good cup of coffee
4) sitting on my front porch and watching the SHIPS climb the mountain, down the street, TWIN LOCKS of the WELLAND CANAL
5) LOOK in my COURAGE 2 CHANGE book for a good quote "on the mood I am in"
6) sitting by my pool with GOOD company

litehorse

when i feel overwhelmed with work that has piled up, a really big job, or emotions that have gotten out of control i just follow the directions for eating an elephant. you know the old joke, "How do you eat an elephant?" "One bite at a time." It is a simple philosophy but it works in almost every situation.
i always told my kids: In every day work a little, play a little, and learn something new." i've lived by that for many years - it really helps.
ride my horse through the woods
call a friend
browse on my computer
cheap retail therapy - i go to thrift stores all the time
play with my dogs
take a power nap
help someone
read - Bible or other book i'm into
and my all time favorite - pray

bluebelle

I think most of these have already been brought up by someone else:
Hiking or walking
Petting the cats
Reading inspirational stuff or something distracting
Taking a bubble bath
Writing
Listening to music
Talking to a friend
Reading/posting on this website
Meditating/Praying
Practicing gratitude
Stretching

Angelic17

Kindeyes, Since stress is a big trigger for drug use, I have found some things that keep me calm. I'm sure they are already mentioned by some others but here goes.......

I pray, usually the Rosary
I write and journal my feelings
I drink chamomile tea. It's very calming. It doesn't taste great so I add lemon&sugar.
The good old Hot Bath in my hot tub with jets on and candle light
My husband will massage me if I ask
Bicycle riding, when I'm done I fall asleep a few miles knocks me out
Swim laps in the pool
Shut the phone,tv and computer
Go to church
Meditation&Yoga